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Can't give daughter cash for a present ('cause who knows what she'll do with it).
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<blockquote data-quote="aninom" data-source="post: 329019" data-attributes="member: 8513"><p>It's the right thing to do long-term, no matter how hard it feels now. You could always scrap even the gift cards and give her something that yells out "I love you" without being a bit valuable monetary wise. </p><p> </p><p>Last year (we don't celebrate christmas, but new year is gift-giving day in our culture) I made my parents 52 decorated letters - they were opening one for each week throughout the year, and on the inside there was always a small cheery phrase to remind them they're always in my thoughts no matter how far away we are physically. It didn't cost much, but it was a very feel-good and lasting gift. You could do something similar, or give her something that is funny, symbolic, or specific only to her. It really is the thought that counts, and in this case, the thought counts twice if it can make it a little less harder for her to get even deeper into her addiction.</p><p> </p><p>I've thought about giving my difficult child a book on handling aggression. I'd never dare do it but man do I wish there was something to buy or make her that would help rather than be turned upside-down into a source of tension, conflict, accusation, etc. We, or at least I, have a similar dilemma with giving her money - she's mooched so much you feel like a tool for giving her cash even voluntarily, now. Can't give her a specific item since she ALWAYS, 100% surefire will explode over how inadequate it is. </p><p> </p><p>I wish holiday seasons didn't have to be so full of emotional acrobatics.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aninom, post: 329019, member: 8513"] It's the right thing to do long-term, no matter how hard it feels now. You could always scrap even the gift cards and give her something that yells out "I love you" without being a bit valuable monetary wise. Last year (we don't celebrate christmas, but new year is gift-giving day in our culture) I made my parents 52 decorated letters - they were opening one for each week throughout the year, and on the inside there was always a small cheery phrase to remind them they're always in my thoughts no matter how far away we are physically. It didn't cost much, but it was a very feel-good and lasting gift. You could do something similar, or give her something that is funny, symbolic, or specific only to her. It really is the thought that counts, and in this case, the thought counts twice if it can make it a little less harder for her to get even deeper into her addiction. I've thought about giving my difficult child a book on handling aggression. I'd never dare do it but man do I wish there was something to buy or make her that would help rather than be turned upside-down into a source of tension, conflict, accusation, etc. We, or at least I, have a similar dilemma with giving her money - she's mooched so much you feel like a tool for giving her cash even voluntarily, now. Can't give her a specific item since she ALWAYS, 100% surefire will explode over how inadequate it is. I wish holiday seasons didn't have to be so full of emotional acrobatics. [/QUOTE]
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Can't give daughter cash for a present ('cause who knows what she'll do with it).
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