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Parent Emeritus
can't shake this down feeling
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 725399" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I understand your feelings of wondering if you and your daughter will ever have a good relationship. I wonder the same thing about my son.</p><p>I'm so glad you are doing well. This has been a long journey for you but you have progressed to a place that is good. Hold onto that.</p><p>I know how much you love your grandson and I hope your grandson knows that. There will come a point in time that your daughter and grandsons father will not be able to control him or keep him from seeing you.</p><p>The holidays can bring about many emotions for us. Lean into those feelings. The ability to deeply love comes with the cost of pain. I have learned to embrace the pain because it's testimony to the love I have. I would rather have some pain than feel nothing.</p><p>Just as we grieve for ones we have lost to death we sometimes have to grieve for relationships that are no longer viable. I have done this with my son. Just as the love we have for ones we have lost to death remain in our hearts so does the love we have for our difficult children. I will always have hope for myself and all other warrior parents that our relationships with our difficult children can be restored. Hope is not a bad thing but I have learned to hold it lightly when it comes to my son.</p><p></p><p>Be very good to yourself. Find joy in the small things. Wishing you happiness this Christmas and New Year.</p><p>((HUGS)) to you sweet lady.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 725399, member: 18516"] I understand your feelings of wondering if you and your daughter will ever have a good relationship. I wonder the same thing about my son. I'm so glad you are doing well. This has been a long journey for you but you have progressed to a place that is good. Hold onto that. I know how much you love your grandson and I hope your grandson knows that. There will come a point in time that your daughter and grandsons father will not be able to control him or keep him from seeing you. The holidays can bring about many emotions for us. Lean into those feelings. The ability to deeply love comes with the cost of pain. I have learned to embrace the pain because it's testimony to the love I have. I would rather have some pain than feel nothing. Just as we grieve for ones we have lost to death we sometimes have to grieve for relationships that are no longer viable. I have done this with my son. Just as the love we have for ones we have lost to death remain in our hearts so does the love we have for our difficult children. I will always have hope for myself and all other warrior parents that our relationships with our difficult children can be restored. Hope is not a bad thing but I have learned to hold it lightly when it comes to my son. Be very good to yourself. Find joy in the small things. Wishing you happiness this Christmas and New Year. ((HUGS)) to you sweet lady. [/QUOTE]
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