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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 535436" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I think I'd be contacting county mental health and see what types of housing options there are for her in your area. Sort of a halfway house type deal where she's still getting some supervision per medications ect. Is Angel working or have disability? Because she's going to have to have cash to move too. </p><p></p><p>Travis reached a difficult point at 17. In most areas he'd mellowed. But he was feeling his oats and even though he's lower on the autism spectrum, he was itching for some independence..........that does not mean he was ready for it. And at that point he wasn't, He was still lagging around the 12/13 yr old stage in too many areas. We were having WWIII over the topic of driving, which for him was a certain NO, but he couldn't bring himself to accept it. (understandable but it didn't make our lives any easier) I was battling the sd to get him to graduate because they mucked up his classes, but due to his IEP they had no choice but to let him graduate........but I wasn't supposed to know that info. And we had testosterone wars between him and his dad that just made everything even more fun. ugh</p><p></p><p>Please don't take this wrong, but if you want Angel to move out on her own.........then you're going to have to put more responsibility onto her shoulders before she leaves home. If the girls didn't start laundry until 10 pm, you should've went to bed and not worried about it. Both are old enough to know better and to deal with the natural consequences. Eventually, they'll grow tired of dirty clothes, and do it the way it should be done. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Once my kids reached Jr High I began backing off with what I did for them gradually. As each year passed, I did less. If they failed to do something that was their responsibility to handle, well, that wasn't my problem. They dealt with it. I didn't wake them for school. I didn't do laundry. ect. By the time they were 17, they were doing nearly everything on their own with just some supervision.......and not alot of that either. Travis was done the same way just over a longer time frame because maturity/developmentally he lags several years behind. </p><p></p><p>I don't know what skills Angel has that would help her with adult living, but you might want to sit down and think about them and then refocus your attention on addressing/teaching those skills. It might even help you feel better about guiding her out of the home. While the thought of living with her for another year seems daunting, it would give you more time to help her acquire more skills for independent living. In turn, it may make her feel more confident as she learns each skill........and make her a bit easier to live with. </p><p></p><p>Honestly? Don't beat yourself up for wanting her out of the home. It's natural. We're supposed to feel that way in order to prompt them from the nest. But at your girls ages, natural consequences should be being experienced over not doing what they should. They still will probably try to blame you, but then you re-direct it to Well if you did x y or z then you'd have a b or c, but since you didn't......blah blah and eventually the message sinks in. in my opinion it's one of the best ways to teach.</p><p></p><p>Now how about soaking in a nice hot tub for a while and going and getting a good long nap?</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 535436, member: 84"] I think I'd be contacting county mental health and see what types of housing options there are for her in your area. Sort of a halfway house type deal where she's still getting some supervision per medications ect. Is Angel working or have disability? Because she's going to have to have cash to move too. Travis reached a difficult point at 17. In most areas he'd mellowed. But he was feeling his oats and even though he's lower on the autism spectrum, he was itching for some independence..........that does not mean he was ready for it. And at that point he wasn't, He was still lagging around the 12/13 yr old stage in too many areas. We were having WWIII over the topic of driving, which for him was a certain NO, but he couldn't bring himself to accept it. (understandable but it didn't make our lives any easier) I was battling the sd to get him to graduate because they mucked up his classes, but due to his IEP they had no choice but to let him graduate........but I wasn't supposed to know that info. And we had testosterone wars between him and his dad that just made everything even more fun. ugh Please don't take this wrong, but if you want Angel to move out on her own.........then you're going to have to put more responsibility onto her shoulders before she leaves home. If the girls didn't start laundry until 10 pm, you should've went to bed and not worried about it. Both are old enough to know better and to deal with the natural consequences. Eventually, they'll grow tired of dirty clothes, and do it the way it should be done. Know what I mean?? Once my kids reached Jr High I began backing off with what I did for them gradually. As each year passed, I did less. If they failed to do something that was their responsibility to handle, well, that wasn't my problem. They dealt with it. I didn't wake them for school. I didn't do laundry. ect. By the time they were 17, they were doing nearly everything on their own with just some supervision.......and not alot of that either. Travis was done the same way just over a longer time frame because maturity/developmentally he lags several years behind. I don't know what skills Angel has that would help her with adult living, but you might want to sit down and think about them and then refocus your attention on addressing/teaching those skills. It might even help you feel better about guiding her out of the home. While the thought of living with her for another year seems daunting, it would give you more time to help her acquire more skills for independent living. In turn, it may make her feel more confident as she learns each skill........and make her a bit easier to live with. Honestly? Don't beat yourself up for wanting her out of the home. It's natural. We're supposed to feel that way in order to prompt them from the nest. But at your girls ages, natural consequences should be being experienced over not doing what they should. They still will probably try to blame you, but then you re-direct it to Well if you did x y or z then you'd have a b or c, but since you didn't......blah blah and eventually the message sinks in. in my opinion it's one of the best ways to teach. Now how about soaking in a nice hot tub for a while and going and getting a good long nap? (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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