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Can't take it anymore !!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 647713" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>That's exactly why she uses this, because she knows it gets to you. There are plenty of food pantry's that she could go to. Also, there are churchs that can assist and direct people.</p><p>My son has been on and off homeless and I've had the desperate calls of I'm going to starve to death, I'm going to freeze to death, etc.... I too used to give in and got to the point where you are now. I suggest you prepare yourself with short standard answers. I have found this works best as it does not allow them to draw you into a debate/argument.</p><p>Example:</p><p>Daughter - Mom, we are broke and I have no money for food, the baby is starving</p><p>You - I'm so sorry you are in this situation, you need to go to a food bank</p><p>Daughter - but Mom you've always helped me before you have to help me now</p><p>You - again honey, I'm sorry you are in this situation but you need to go to the food bank. Someone's at the door I need to go, Love you bye. (HANG UP)</p><p>You need to realize that she is using your love for the grandchild against you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><p>I am able to cope because I have successfully detached. This did not happen overnight, it took work. Ultimately I had to accept that my son's choices are his, he has his life to live and I have mine. As for his children, I have a good relationship with their mother, she will always be a daughter to me. They live 2000 miles away from me so I don't get to see them as often as I would like.</p><p> </p><p>At the top of the Parent Emeritus page is an article on detachment. I highly suggest you read that.</p><p>The only way you will ever find peace is to let go. I won't lie to you, it's not easy and it hurts but it is vital for your own survival and sanity.</p><p> </p><p>Stay tuned as I'm sure others will chime in on this and offer some wonderful advice and encouragement.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 647713, member: 18516"] That's exactly why she uses this, because she knows it gets to you. There are plenty of food pantry's that she could go to. Also, there are churchs that can assist and direct people. My son has been on and off homeless and I've had the desperate calls of I'm going to starve to death, I'm going to freeze to death, etc.... I too used to give in and got to the point where you are now. I suggest you prepare yourself with short standard answers. I have found this works best as it does not allow them to draw you into a debate/argument. Example: Daughter - Mom, we are broke and I have no money for food, the baby is starving You - I'm so sorry you are in this situation, you need to go to a food bank Daughter - but Mom you've always helped me before you have to help me now You - again honey, I'm sorry you are in this situation but you need to go to the food bank. Someone's at the door I need to go, Love you bye. (HANG UP) You need to realize that she is using your love for the grandchild against you. I am able to cope because I have successfully detached. This did not happen overnight, it took work. Ultimately I had to accept that my son's choices are his, he has his life to live and I have mine. As for his children, I have a good relationship with their mother, she will always be a daughter to me. They live 2000 miles away from me so I don't get to see them as often as I would like. At the top of the Parent Emeritus page is an article on detachment. I highly suggest you read that. The only way you will ever find peace is to let go. I won't lie to you, it's not easy and it hurts but it is vital for your own survival and sanity. Stay tuned as I'm sure others will chime in on this and offer some wonderful advice and encouragement. :notalone::staystrong: [/QUOTE]
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