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Can't think straight
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 582930"><p>Thank you. Yes, this might lead to a divorce. Decisions are supossed to be joint but because of husband's autism often we can't communicate well enough to agree. What we have done is divide the roles. It seems unfair to someone on the outside looking in because I have most of the roles but he is giving everything he has got to this family. </p><p></p><p>husband is saying this because of x's behaviors. husband is trying to protect the other kids and me from x. If difficult child 1 really does this x will be empowered to intrude into our lives even more. husband thinks that if difficult child 1 isn't connected to me through any kind of contact that x won't want difficult child 1. husband is probably right. If difficult child 1 goes and coming back to me is an option difficult child 1 will hold it over x's head to get whatever he wants from x. Thus, making x's house a very lucrative place for difficult child 1. husband is completely logical about this, but is completely blind to the emotional side of it. He doesn't understand why I'm "all emotional" and he doesn't understand why his logical arguments aren't calming me down (they make it worse). </p><p></p><p>No contact will not be an option even if it destroys my marriage and even if its the most logical choice. I will decide when the contact will be and it won't be to anyones liking probably. But, I'm not going to start that fight with husband unless I absolutely have to. </p><p></p><p>I will bring up what difficult child 3 said at therapist on monday to see how committed to this course of action difficult child 1 is. </p><p></p><p>Another thing, I'm not going to let difficult child 1 make this decision without all the facts about x presented to him (in tdocs office). And, legally anyone who trys to keep difficult child 1 from me is going to have one huge fight on their hands. Which is exactly what x wants. I can't win here, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself doing what husband wants. </p><p></p><p>I just need to calm down and take this one day at a time. </p><p></p><p>Thank you. It has really helped putting this all down. husband said that and my mind panicked. I couldn't think of any response to him right then. Now I have a response bordering on a plan of action. </p><p></p><p>Also, thank you for your prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 582930"] Thank you. Yes, this might lead to a divorce. Decisions are supossed to be joint but because of husband's autism often we can't communicate well enough to agree. What we have done is divide the roles. It seems unfair to someone on the outside looking in because I have most of the roles but he is giving everything he has got to this family. husband is saying this because of x's behaviors. husband is trying to protect the other kids and me from x. If difficult child 1 really does this x will be empowered to intrude into our lives even more. husband thinks that if difficult child 1 isn't connected to me through any kind of contact that x won't want difficult child 1. husband is probably right. If difficult child 1 goes and coming back to me is an option difficult child 1 will hold it over x's head to get whatever he wants from x. Thus, making x's house a very lucrative place for difficult child 1. husband is completely logical about this, but is completely blind to the emotional side of it. He doesn't understand why I'm "all emotional" and he doesn't understand why his logical arguments aren't calming me down (they make it worse). No contact will not be an option even if it destroys my marriage and even if its the most logical choice. I will decide when the contact will be and it won't be to anyones liking probably. But, I'm not going to start that fight with husband unless I absolutely have to. I will bring up what difficult child 3 said at therapist on monday to see how committed to this course of action difficult child 1 is. Another thing, I'm not going to let difficult child 1 make this decision without all the facts about x presented to him (in tdocs office). And, legally anyone who trys to keep difficult child 1 from me is going to have one huge fight on their hands. Which is exactly what x wants. I can't win here, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself doing what husband wants. I just need to calm down and take this one day at a time. Thank you. It has really helped putting this all down. husband said that and my mind panicked. I couldn't think of any response to him right then. Now I have a response bordering on a plan of action. Also, thank you for your prayers. [/QUOTE]
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