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<blockquote data-quote="Gone" data-source="post: 640369"><p>Just had a chat with my difficult child</p><p></p><p>She agreed to me staying over for a month if / when my GS is returned and I also told her that over Christmas etc if she wants to go and party or even chill with her friends that I would RATHER stay at hers with my GS than expose him to the chaos of the partying enviroment even if it is just a Christmas get together as to be honest some of her friends children are OUT OF HAND and there is always NOISE , fighting , disruption etc and my GS is not good with that stuff :-(</p><p></p><p>I'd rather him stay at home and then we take him to a nice farm the next day and him play with the animals etc as he LOVES animals and needs calm and comforting things around him and A PEACEFUL ENVIROMENT especially after what he has been through...</p><p></p><p>I did mention the cannabis consumption and my concerns about that and she said she won't smoke it around her son or get in the car with him after smoking it but that she will stop , one thing at a time and is doing well with the alcohol sobriety , but the cannabis is still a concern for me and an area of friction between us as was going to let SS know about it as it is a concern anyway</p><p></p><p>She seemed to understand what I was saying about the peaceful , calm homeley enviroment but I don't think she wants to make certain lifestyle changes ie to avoid certain friends and family members for a while at least until things settle down or meet up with them while the kids are at school so it doesn't end up a mad evening visit! lol</p><p></p><p>I can't do it for her anyway and I did detach from her a while back to concentrate on myself but she said she felt abandoned .... I did explain I needed time to work on myself as this HAS NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME EITHER so not sure if she understands that as she says things will ''never be the same'' between us as I sold her out to SS , but still WOULD , so no change there really and I HOPE one day she sees WHY but she does not at present and says she will NEVER understand why I reported her to the police and SS for drink driving - I told her it would have been better for HER to be honest with them as she was lying to them and I was telling them the truth but she says it is MY fault they don't trust her!!!</p><p></p><p>If she had been honest with them when she WAS drinking they would be more likely to believe her when she now says she is NOT drinking as she is worried now they won't believe her as she has lied to them in the past but apparently my fault for them not trusting her because I WAS honest with them..</p><p></p><p>All ''not quite'' on the same page yet unfortunately , as I want us to work TOGETHER to keep my GS safe from ANY harm at ALL times but it is definitely a work in progress and a tentative one at that</p><p></p><p>I have to risk a huge rift between my difficult child and I if / when I continue to be honest with SS about her but when she is doing WELL in everything INCLUDING the cannabis smoking then we will all be on the same page with no rift neccessary , but she will probably still have a go at me for a while after till she is well indeed I suppose!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gone, post: 640369"] Just had a chat with my difficult child She agreed to me staying over for a month if / when my GS is returned and I also told her that over Christmas etc if she wants to go and party or even chill with her friends that I would RATHER stay at hers with my GS than expose him to the chaos of the partying enviroment even if it is just a Christmas get together as to be honest some of her friends children are OUT OF HAND and there is always NOISE , fighting , disruption etc and my GS is not good with that stuff :-( I'd rather him stay at home and then we take him to a nice farm the next day and him play with the animals etc as he LOVES animals and needs calm and comforting things around him and A PEACEFUL ENVIROMENT especially after what he has been through... I did mention the cannabis consumption and my concerns about that and she said she won't smoke it around her son or get in the car with him after smoking it but that she will stop , one thing at a time and is doing well with the alcohol sobriety , but the cannabis is still a concern for me and an area of friction between us as was going to let SS know about it as it is a concern anyway She seemed to understand what I was saying about the peaceful , calm homeley enviroment but I don't think she wants to make certain lifestyle changes ie to avoid certain friends and family members for a while at least until things settle down or meet up with them while the kids are at school so it doesn't end up a mad evening visit! lol I can't do it for her anyway and I did detach from her a while back to concentrate on myself but she said she felt abandoned .... I did explain I needed time to work on myself as this HAS NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME EITHER so not sure if she understands that as she says things will ''never be the same'' between us as I sold her out to SS , but still WOULD , so no change there really and I HOPE one day she sees WHY but she does not at present and says she will NEVER understand why I reported her to the police and SS for drink driving - I told her it would have been better for HER to be honest with them as she was lying to them and I was telling them the truth but she says it is MY fault they don't trust her!!! If she had been honest with them when she WAS drinking they would be more likely to believe her when she now says she is NOT drinking as she is worried now they won't believe her as she has lied to them in the past but apparently my fault for them not trusting her because I WAS honest with them.. All ''not quite'' on the same page yet unfortunately , as I want us to work TOGETHER to keep my GS safe from ANY harm at ALL times but it is definitely a work in progress and a tentative one at that I have to risk a huge rift between my difficult child and I if / when I continue to be honest with SS about her but when she is doing WELL in everything INCLUDING the cannabis smoking then we will all be on the same page with no rift neccessary , but she will probably still have a go at me for a while after till she is well indeed I suppose!! [/QUOTE]
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