Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Malika, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    We were in a local town this evening and suddenly got caught up in a carnival - a procession of rather elegant masked figures waving plumed sticks at the crowd (which formed an alleyway for them to pass in the old market square) and throwing confetti followed by a band. A tiny figure - a dwarf or more likely small child :) - spotted J and started chasing him and throwing confetti at him; J then started weaving in and out of the procession throwing confetti at them all. The people near us looked at him very disapprovingly and one woman took him by the shoulders and told him firmly to get back into the crowd - an injunction he immediately ignored. I refused to call him back in but just let him run around among the procession, despite the comments and disapproval. This was carnival, and what better time for a hyperactive child to join in the fun... Boo hoo to the stilted ladies who wanted him to disappear into oblivion! I felt like I've come a long way, really... time was I would have been embarrassed by this, and him (if I am honest).
    J was really very "good" today - we went for a walk along the river and he listened to me whenever I asked him to come back from plunging into the river or climbing down steep rocks. Accepted me saying no to a couple of things without a meltdown. Was co-operative and cheerful. Held my hand on the road. All these things are but nothing for an ordinary child but for J they are.... significant.
  2. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    So proud of you! You stuck to what YOU thought was right for your child and that is very good.
    To be honest, I highly doubt I could do that myself.... Social codes are very important to me, I'm not saying I'm right or wrong but I simply cannot let go of it. It probably comes from my up bringing, I know I ask a lot more from my children than what typical American parents do of their own.
    What I work on though are friendly but firm reminders vs. getting upset. That is HUGE for me: accepting that V does not get it and needs to be taught and not punished.
    We all need to work on our parenting styles and figure ou what feels right for us and difficult children.
    You did exactly that today: Bravo!
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Oh, don't worry, Ktllc - I'm also wracked with middle-class social paranoia :) It's kind of time and place, though, isn't it... I just felt it was appropriate for J to be having fun with the carnival figures. If he had been doing it in a church or a concert, on the other hand - no way! And, it was also pitch dark, and at night things seem a little more... permissive.
    My rule of thumb, perhaps, is "is it doing anyone any harm?"
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2012
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    sounds totally fun. good for you letting him be a kid, he was egged on anyway, I would have laughed!

    Sounds like J had a really successful day. I'm happy for you.
  5. myeverything04

    myeverything04 New Member

    I couldn't agree more! I struggle more and more with listening to what other people "would have done" or what other people "thought was right" that I also applaud you for doing what you felt was right for your child. I don't think I could have either but well done. And like you said, it didn't hurt anything or anyone so what's the big deal. It sound like it may have been almost therapeudic for J... maybe he felt like he "got it all out" and was able to focus more on what you were telling him later that night.
  6. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Sounds like a wonderful moment in time! I have to say, when you post about J, I just get this feeling that you are holding before you, the spirit of a boy who will do great things one day.
  7. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    What a nice thing to say! I should write it out and stick it on my fridge (= ice box)...
  8. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    I agree....well done for letting him be himself!
    If any one is to blame....its not him but the dwarf chasing him!!!!!
    Hope you have a relaxed night after today!