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Catching up with gfg32
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620857" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and sorry you gave in to temptation and opened the e-mail (sigh). Don't let it hurt you. He is not a nice man and he is saying whatever he can to go for your jugular. He is using a cruel tactic that my son has also used. He is also not taking one bit of responsibility for his own behavior and is trying to make you think that "everyone" thinks that it's you, not him. Baloney, by the way, but a common tactic. I mean, you can't check it out. </p><p></p><p>Sadly, seems like your son always had antisocial traits, just like mine did. I don't think having a dialogue about his behavior will ever help the two of you understand one another. More likely, he will be nice as long as you give him what he wants from you, but will turn like the cold, cold winter wind as soon as you don't. Have had experience with this type of person myself. The fact that three women have had restraining orders out on him indicate severe behavioral issues from his 20's, if not before. I think the best way to deal with young men like ours is to keep the conversation simple (not deep) and talk about benign topics like the weather. You and I are not going to get what we want from the conversations and, I really don't like to throw my pessimism onto you so don't pay attention to it if it bothers you, but I don't think that our young men are going to change anytime soon. In my case, 36 is actually a middle aged man and the older they stay mean, the more likely it is that t hey will not get any help and change their ways or see themselves the way they really are.</p><p></p><p>Your son's girlfriend is probably also a piece of work or she wouldn't put up with him. Every day I hope my son, who is dating again, never finds anyone who wants to be with him. He is not made for relationships of that sort (and isn't good with relationships, period). </p><p></p><p>Next time hubby tells you to open up an e-mail, set as boundary and tell him that he can open it if he likes, but he may not read it to you. Trust me, silence is golden <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs and wishing you a peaceful, serene Sunday.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620857, member: 1550"] Hi there and sorry you gave in to temptation and opened the e-mail (sigh). Don't let it hurt you. He is not a nice man and he is saying whatever he can to go for your jugular. He is using a cruel tactic that my son has also used. He is also not taking one bit of responsibility for his own behavior and is trying to make you think that "everyone" thinks that it's you, not him. Baloney, by the way, but a common tactic. I mean, you can't check it out. Sadly, seems like your son always had antisocial traits, just like mine did. I don't think having a dialogue about his behavior will ever help the two of you understand one another. More likely, he will be nice as long as you give him what he wants from you, but will turn like the cold, cold winter wind as soon as you don't. Have had experience with this type of person myself. The fact that three women have had restraining orders out on him indicate severe behavioral issues from his 20's, if not before. I think the best way to deal with young men like ours is to keep the conversation simple (not deep) and talk about benign topics like the weather. You and I are not going to get what we want from the conversations and, I really don't like to throw my pessimism onto you so don't pay attention to it if it bothers you, but I don't think that our young men are going to change anytime soon. In my case, 36 is actually a middle aged man and the older they stay mean, the more likely it is that t hey will not get any help and change their ways or see themselves the way they really are. Your son's girlfriend is probably also a piece of work or she wouldn't put up with him. Every day I hope my son, who is dating again, never finds anyone who wants to be with him. He is not made for relationships of that sort (and isn't good with relationships, period). Next time hubby tells you to open up an e-mail, set as boundary and tell him that he can open it if he likes, but he may not read it to you. Trust me, silence is golden :) Gentle hugs and wishing you a peaceful, serene Sunday. [/QUOTE]
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