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Catching up with gfg32
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620877" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>With a heading like that, lol, you had a real big clue that it was going to be a "you are so terrible to me" e-mail. I'm proud of you for being able to delete it. It was just another attempt to spin why you are the bad guy...nothing that is worth reading.</p><p></p><p>Everyone takes a different path. When 36 is being mean to me, I truly would rather he not call me. I often let him go to voicemail, which he never uses. I have deleted his texts without reading them too when he is in a bad mood.</p><p></p><p>With He-Who-Left-Family-For-Good I was able to beg him and his wife to meet me at his church to talk things over. I won't bore you with the details of how far I went to demean myself just so that they would see me at all and I admit I used the church because I didn't think he'd say no to mediating church people, and he didn't. When I first saw him, I felt all the love I had felt the first time he had run off th e airplane, dressed in his Hong Kong outfit, when he hugged me and ca lled me "Daddy." (We adopted him from Hong Kong. He was six when he came a nd adorable).</p><p></p><p>By the time I left the meeting with my grown up son and his wife I felt...numb. I hugged him, but it didn't feel right. I felt I had to so I did, then got out of there quickly. Very good word is the word numb. I was very numb at the cruelty I had brought upon myself. He had a long list of rules I MUST obey in order to have the high honor of seeing him. And that would only be sometimes and either at his church or in a restaurant in which we all pay for our own meals. He wrote down such HORRIBLE, INSULTING rules that I gained extreme clarity as to who he really is and it calmed me. I have never missed him since that day. I realize I had never even known he had such a mean heart and that he did it once and, even if I followed his insane rules, I would be happier without him in my life since he was on a major power trip knowing just how much he could hurt me. I think he wanted to see if he could make me jump and do cartwheels if he snapped his fingers. And if I wouldn't, he had no intention of ever seeing me again. And that was fine with me because I haven't.</p><p></p><p>He messaged me once on Facebook within the past three years and it was just because something on MY Facebook, which mentioned him, made him angry. I thought about deleting it, but was too curious not to look (damn!!!!). After I read the short, nasty blurb, I wrote back, "You have chosen not to include me in your life therefore I am not obligated to please you." And that was our last contact.</p><p></p><p>I would rather not see him/hear from him/talk to him at all. I am not a masochist. While 36 is sometimes pleasant and I know he loves me, I don't feel that He-Who-Left cares about me at all. I'm not going to spend my time any more wondering about him, considering. What is the point of asking to be hurt???</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620877, member: 1550"] With a heading like that, lol, you had a real big clue that it was going to be a "you are so terrible to me" e-mail. I'm proud of you for being able to delete it. It was just another attempt to spin why you are the bad guy...nothing that is worth reading. Everyone takes a different path. When 36 is being mean to me, I truly would rather he not call me. I often let him go to voicemail, which he never uses. I have deleted his texts without reading them too when he is in a bad mood. With He-Who-Left-Family-For-Good I was able to beg him and his wife to meet me at his church to talk things over. I won't bore you with the details of how far I went to demean myself just so that they would see me at all and I admit I used the church because I didn't think he'd say no to mediating church people, and he didn't. When I first saw him, I felt all the love I had felt the first time he had run off th e airplane, dressed in his Hong Kong outfit, when he hugged me and ca lled me "Daddy." (We adopted him from Hong Kong. He was six when he came a nd adorable). By the time I left the meeting with my grown up son and his wife I felt...numb. I hugged him, but it didn't feel right. I felt I had to so I did, then got out of there quickly. Very good word is the word numb. I was very numb at the cruelty I had brought upon myself. He had a long list of rules I MUST obey in order to have the high honor of seeing him. And that would only be sometimes and either at his church or in a restaurant in which we all pay for our own meals. He wrote down such HORRIBLE, INSULTING rules that I gained extreme clarity as to who he really is and it calmed me. I have never missed him since that day. I realize I had never even known he had such a mean heart and that he did it once and, even if I followed his insane rules, I would be happier without him in my life since he was on a major power trip knowing just how much he could hurt me. I think he wanted to see if he could make me jump and do cartwheels if he snapped his fingers. And if I wouldn't, he had no intention of ever seeing me again. And that was fine with me because I haven't. He messaged me once on Facebook within the past three years and it was just because something on MY Facebook, which mentioned him, made him angry. I thought about deleting it, but was too curious not to look (damn!!!!). After I read the short, nasty blurb, I wrote back, "You have chosen not to include me in your life therefore I am not obligated to please you." And that was our last contact. I would rather not see him/hear from him/talk to him at all. I am not a masochist. While 36 is sometimes pleasant and I know he loves me, I don't feel that He-Who-Left cares about me at all. I'm not going to spend my time any more wondering about him, considering. What is the point of asking to be hurt??? [/QUOTE]
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