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Catching up with gfg32
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 620953" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I am so happy for you that you found the strength to double delete. It ain't easy, I know! Partly we are curious, partly we think that maybe this time there will be redemption, or at least some understandable explanation for this incredibly in comprehensible morass, and partly because WHAT IF WE MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT?</p><p></p><p>I was at a class once where they said that anything of value will withstand three "no's". My most effective boss used to say he just refused to acknowledge pretty much anything anyone brought up the first time, figuring if it had any meaning or value it would come round again. Sometimes I go through my clogged email inbox and delete EVERYTHING. And you know what? It pretty much works! Important stuff bubbles up again, in a better way, in a better place in time.</p><p></p><p>He will stop sending you the same old same old if he stops getting any satisfaction from it. It will taper down. Pretty soon it will be silent, then you'll get a blast in a month. If he actually finds some kindness and goodness in himself he will find a way to let you know. </p><p></p><p>For now...block and double delete! Turn your face to to the sun, and to husband. Be proud of the woman that you are...you've taken a lot of beating down by difficult child, and by the voices in your own head (not the crazy ones, LOL, the ones we all share). </p><p></p><p>I am happy for your strength today.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh, and I wanted to say...I totally get this. LIke so many of life's most important messages, detachment is like an onion with endless rings and layers. You learn one, peel that debris away, and voila!!! more to follow! Maybe even stronger smelling than previous (or sweeter smelling, depending on your onion)...but yes, I am very guilty of cherishing the hope that my detachment would make difficult child change.</p><p>Sadly it doesn't work that way. We can only change ourselves.</p><p>I have a quote from one of Child's posts.I printed it out and it is both on my desk and in my purse. It says "the only thing you can do is to work on YOU, to look at your suffering over him and try with an open heart to find the places in yourself which are still expecting or needing him to show up in a different way than he is..you have to look at those and let those go"</p><p>Another peel of the onion. Another layer of detachment. Working on ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Good luck on the path!</p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 620953, member: 17269"] I am so happy for you that you found the strength to double delete. It ain't easy, I know! Partly we are curious, partly we think that maybe this time there will be redemption, or at least some understandable explanation for this incredibly in comprehensible morass, and partly because WHAT IF WE MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT? I was at a class once where they said that anything of value will withstand three "no's". My most effective boss used to say he just refused to acknowledge pretty much anything anyone brought up the first time, figuring if it had any meaning or value it would come round again. Sometimes I go through my clogged email inbox and delete EVERYTHING. And you know what? It pretty much works! Important stuff bubbles up again, in a better way, in a better place in time. He will stop sending you the same old same old if he stops getting any satisfaction from it. It will taper down. Pretty soon it will be silent, then you'll get a blast in a month. If he actually finds some kindness and goodness in himself he will find a way to let you know. For now...block and double delete! Turn your face to to the sun, and to husband. Be proud of the woman that you are...you've taken a lot of beating down by difficult child, and by the voices in your own head (not the crazy ones, LOL, the ones we all share). I am happy for your strength today. Echo Oh, and I wanted to say...I totally get this. LIke so many of life's most important messages, detachment is like an onion with endless rings and layers. You learn one, peel that debris away, and voila!!! more to follow! Maybe even stronger smelling than previous (or sweeter smelling, depending on your onion)...but yes, I am very guilty of cherishing the hope that my detachment would make difficult child change. Sadly it doesn't work that way. We can only change ourselves. I have a quote from one of Child's posts.I printed it out and it is both on my desk and in my purse. It says "the only thing you can do is to work on YOU, to look at your suffering over him and try with an open heart to find the places in yourself which are still expecting or needing him to show up in a different way than he is..you have to look at those and let those go" Another peel of the onion. Another layer of detachment. Working on ourselves. Good luck on the path! Echo [/QUOTE]
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