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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 549298"><p>AG, dear friend-time to take a few steps back. He is angry with you because it's safe and much more preferable than being angry at himself. So long as you remain emotionally vested in him; he will continue to direct it at you.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I am a total hypocrite. I am freely admitting it. So please know that I am not passing judgment.</p><p></p><p>For 15 months I have been trying to be the bigger person with my difficult child. I've been trying to demonstrate the behavior I seek in him. I've poured over his pictures and thought of making an album to prove he was once a happy, healthy kid. I have demonstrated unconditional love hoping that it will trigger some sort of self revelation for difficult child. I've tried to give logical heartfelt advice to deaf ears-with the thought that maybe it will deposit itself in a cranny of his brain and be there when he needs it. I have tried to be the best mom- with hopes that my added effort could overcome his lack of effort. I've tried to be the person I would want in my life if I were him.</p><p></p><p>In return i get Bupkis. Nada. Zilch. ( not true i actually get bristling, anger, entitlement.)</p><p></p><p> Now I know that I am so incredibly connected and emotionally vested in difficult child. But he is not in me. And my emotional investment in him fuels his self righteousness. So I am withdrawing my vestment. Granted, it's been just 10 days or so-but I am treating him like a tolerated in law. I wring my hands behind closed doors. Nothing in his life makes sense to me- but I am done trying to warn him, save him, compensate for him. I am skimming along the surface - </p><p></p><p>He "has a plan he knows will work. " </p><p></p><p>Point taken.</p><p></p><p>So i nod in acquiescence And i change the subject. Mustard or Mayo on your sub? How about those Packers.?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 549298"] AG, dear friend-time to take a few steps back. He is angry with you because it's safe and much more preferable than being angry at himself. So long as you remain emotionally vested in him; he will continue to direct it at you. Yes, I am a total hypocrite. I am freely admitting it. So please know that I am not passing judgment. For 15 months I have been trying to be the bigger person with my difficult child. I've been trying to demonstrate the behavior I seek in him. I've poured over his pictures and thought of making an album to prove he was once a happy, healthy kid. I have demonstrated unconditional love hoping that it will trigger some sort of self revelation for difficult child. I've tried to give logical heartfelt advice to deaf ears-with the thought that maybe it will deposit itself in a cranny of his brain and be there when he needs it. I have tried to be the best mom- with hopes that my added effort could overcome his lack of effort. I've tried to be the person I would want in my life if I were him. In return i get Bupkis. Nada. Zilch. ( not true i actually get bristling, anger, entitlement.) Now I know that I am so incredibly connected and emotionally vested in difficult child. But he is not in me. And my emotional investment in him fuels his self righteousness. So I am withdrawing my vestment. Granted, it's been just 10 days or so-but I am treating him like a tolerated in law. I wring my hands behind closed doors. Nothing in his life makes sense to me- but I am done trying to warn him, save him, compensate for him. I am skimming along the surface - He "has a plan he knows will work. " Point taken. So i nod in acquiescence And i change the subject. Mustard or Mayo on your sub? How about those Packers.? [/QUOTE]
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