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Cgfg's 8th grade graduation
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 427827" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You simply have to step back on the school stuff. When she is an adult iwth kids of her own who are doing what she is, she MAY realize how much you care for her and how hard you worked to try to get her to learn. Then again, she may not. Either way, you will only upset yourself if you try to get her to follow the same rules your other kids must follow. She has way too many people in her life who are happy to let her do as she pleases. in my opinion this is NOT love in any way, shape or form. Love is caring enough to make them do what they need to do whether they want to or not. It is something far different from love, most likely indifference or just not giving a hoot, to let them do as they please so long as you are not bothered. THAT is what her mother, father, gma and teachers are doing. One step parent who only sees her a few days a week is NOT able to change that. If her father truly loved her he would have fought for full custody after the mother and gma let her get away with not doing any work at school/home for so long. Of course, I don't know that he really has a clue how to be involved in anyone's life and that is very sad to me.</p><p></p><p>If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go or are sick, you have a perfectly acceptable reason for not going - you are tired, your foot hurts etc... I would NOT tell her you see nothing to celebrate in her being promoted to high school. Mostly because it will be a waste of your time and energy. </p><p></p><p>I am not sure I think you should attend. in my opinion it would be a waste of your time and maybe even be thought of as a sort of passive "acceptance" of her going to high school as a good thing. I jsut don't think it is worth making a big deal about. I would NOT give a gift or card. Not make any statement either good or bad about it. She sure has enough people to tell her how wonderful she is. Sadly, she KNOWS on some level that she hasn't earned anything and probably has pretty lousy self esteem because she doesn't think she is capable of working for anything. No one has ever demanded she do any work, and with-o working you don't make any accomplishments. Some part of ehr knows this. </p><p></p><p>High school is going to be a NIGHTMARE with this child at least for you. Chances are that her mother and maybe even gma will not even notice unless/until she has a baby or gets taken to jail by the police. Try to disengage and remind yourself that though she is in your home on a regular basis, she is NOT your child. Tell Wee that while you care for her, you cannot make her follow the rules and her bad behavior is not something he can get away with. he has different parents and the standards are set higher for him because he CAN meet them, he is able to behave better, work harder, and achieve more than she is. THAT is why he has different rules.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 427827, member: 1233"] You simply have to step back on the school stuff. When she is an adult iwth kids of her own who are doing what she is, she MAY realize how much you care for her and how hard you worked to try to get her to learn. Then again, she may not. Either way, you will only upset yourself if you try to get her to follow the same rules your other kids must follow. She has way too many people in her life who are happy to let her do as she pleases. in my opinion this is NOT love in any way, shape or form. Love is caring enough to make them do what they need to do whether they want to or not. It is something far different from love, most likely indifference or just not giving a hoot, to let them do as they please so long as you are not bothered. THAT is what her mother, father, gma and teachers are doing. One step parent who only sees her a few days a week is NOT able to change that. If her father truly loved her he would have fought for full custody after the mother and gma let her get away with not doing any work at school/home for so long. Of course, I don't know that he really has a clue how to be involved in anyone's life and that is very sad to me. If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go or are sick, you have a perfectly acceptable reason for not going - you are tired, your foot hurts etc... I would NOT tell her you see nothing to celebrate in her being promoted to high school. Mostly because it will be a waste of your time and energy. I am not sure I think you should attend. in my opinion it would be a waste of your time and maybe even be thought of as a sort of passive "acceptance" of her going to high school as a good thing. I jsut don't think it is worth making a big deal about. I would NOT give a gift or card. Not make any statement either good or bad about it. She sure has enough people to tell her how wonderful she is. Sadly, she KNOWS on some level that she hasn't earned anything and probably has pretty lousy self esteem because she doesn't think she is capable of working for anything. No one has ever demanded she do any work, and with-o working you don't make any accomplishments. Some part of ehr knows this. High school is going to be a NIGHTMARE with this child at least for you. Chances are that her mother and maybe even gma will not even notice unless/until she has a baby or gets taken to jail by the police. Try to disengage and remind yourself that though she is in your home on a regular basis, she is NOT your child. Tell Wee that while you care for her, you cannot make her follow the rules and her bad behavior is not something he can get away with. he has different parents and the standards are set higher for him because he CAN meet them, he is able to behave better, work harder, and achieve more than she is. THAT is why he has different rules. [/QUOTE]
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