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change in routine driving me crazy
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 90690" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Is there a medication for ODD? Not really. There are medications for many of the underlying causes of ODD such as ADHD, ADD, BiPolar (BP), etc. My daughter has a nice alphabet soup list of disorders. None of them are really geared towards today's medications. I believe the root of her ODD is her Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). </p><p></p><p>For you, it is probably rooted in her ADHD -- when she was little and bouncing off the walls, you had to say no constantly to protect her from herself. Unfortunately, after hearing a constant stream of NO!, ADHD kids decide they may as well do what they want because they're going to be told to not do it anyway. So, you have to find a different way of doing things. Yelling, punishing, saying no all are just going to set her off. As was suggested, whispering can help. Wherever possible, let natural consequences take the place of punishments. (I basically had a set of dishes just for my daughter -- if they made it to the dishwasher, she had clean dishes. If they didn't, she would have to wash what she needed by hand because the other dishes were off limits. No dirty clothes in the laundry hamper meant no clean clothes for school. Didn't like dinner? Fine, you don't have to eat it but you don't get another dinner later or you can fix yourself a PB&J sandwich. No shower or brushing teeth? Your classmates will let you know you smell.)</p><p></p><p>Don't beg your daughter to do something. Simply tell her X needs to be done when she gets home from school and she has until 30 minutes before bed time to do them. You could even put a list on her door so she can't say she forgot. If it is not done, the next day simply add another chore to the list and do not let her do anything until both chores are done. She is welcome to sit on her bed but she is not welcome to read, listen to music, watch TV, play games, etc., until whatever is completed. Don't nag, don't argue. If you have to do it for her, you simply quit doing for her -- no rides, no special meals, no fun stuff -- until she gets the message these things have to be done. If the issue is picking up her stuff, if they're not picked up by 30 mins before bedtime, pick them up after she goes to bed. Make a Goodwill box and put her things in it. When it is full, give them to Goodwill or another thrift store of your choice. Someone will surely appreciate these items.</p><p></p><p>The hard part is disengaging yourself from the battles. As long as you are yelling, crying, losing control, she has won in her mind. It took me a few years to get this through my thick skull. When I finally got it, I would simply leave the house until I had control of me (mind you, not her, me). I found The Explosive Child extremely helpful in changing my parenting techniques and even some of my ideas on what being a parent was. </p><p></p><p>Let's face it, the present way isn't working for anyone. It is time to try something new. Start with something simple like whispering and work up from there. She didn't become this way overnight, you're not going to be able to change her nor you overnight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 90690, member: 3626"] Is there a medication for ODD? Not really. There are medications for many of the underlying causes of ODD such as ADHD, ADD, BiPolar (BP), etc. My daughter has a nice alphabet soup list of disorders. None of them are really geared towards today's medications. I believe the root of her ODD is her Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). For you, it is probably rooted in her ADHD -- when she was little and bouncing off the walls, you had to say no constantly to protect her from herself. Unfortunately, after hearing a constant stream of NO!, ADHD kids decide they may as well do what they want because they're going to be told to not do it anyway. So, you have to find a different way of doing things. Yelling, punishing, saying no all are just going to set her off. As was suggested, whispering can help. Wherever possible, let natural consequences take the place of punishments. (I basically had a set of dishes just for my daughter -- if they made it to the dishwasher, she had clean dishes. If they didn't, she would have to wash what she needed by hand because the other dishes were off limits. No dirty clothes in the laundry hamper meant no clean clothes for school. Didn't like dinner? Fine, you don't have to eat it but you don't get another dinner later or you can fix yourself a PB&J sandwich. No shower or brushing teeth? Your classmates will let you know you smell.) Don't beg your daughter to do something. Simply tell her X needs to be done when she gets home from school and she has until 30 minutes before bed time to do them. You could even put a list on her door so she can't say she forgot. If it is not done, the next day simply add another chore to the list and do not let her do anything until both chores are done. She is welcome to sit on her bed but she is not welcome to read, listen to music, watch TV, play games, etc., until whatever is completed. Don't nag, don't argue. If you have to do it for her, you simply quit doing for her -- no rides, no special meals, no fun stuff -- until she gets the message these things have to be done. If the issue is picking up her stuff, if they're not picked up by 30 mins before bedtime, pick them up after she goes to bed. Make a Goodwill box and put her things in it. When it is full, give them to Goodwill or another thrift store of your choice. Someone will surely appreciate these items. The hard part is disengaging yourself from the battles. As long as you are yelling, crying, losing control, she has won in her mind. It took me a few years to get this through my thick skull. When I finally got it, I would simply leave the house until I had control of me (mind you, not her, me). I found The Explosive Child extremely helpful in changing my parenting techniques and even some of my ideas on what being a parent was. Let's face it, the present way isn't working for anyone. It is time to try something new. Start with something simple like whispering and work up from there. She didn't become this way overnight, you're not going to be able to change her nor you overnight. [/QUOTE]
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