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General Parenting
Changing the mindset of victimhood....
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 11576" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Nomads post that came while I was typing mine reminded me of what else I meant to say.</p><p></p><p>Someone in another post spoke of the stages of grief and it was discussed how everyone grieves in their own time frame etc. and in their own way.</p><p></p><p>For the first half of kt and wms life they were abused, - is that correct? The stages of grief apply to more than just a death. They apply to us as our children get diagnosis'es and we have to lay aside the expectations hopes and dreams we had when we first thought of having kids. It applies to people who have lost their innocence or their "normal" childhood. Likely kt and wm did not know back when they were younger and still living there that what they were living was NOT "normal" They now need time to grieve for the loss of what they NOW know was not "normal" and they will go thru the stages of grief over it. It may take them a lot longer to go thru the stages of grief becuz they are young. It might take them their whole life. </p><p>ALl our life experiences shape us, make us who we ultimately become. Everything they have lived thru, everythng they have experienced- it cannot be erased, it is part of who they are. </p><p>Time and love from people who care can help soothe some of the past, but, it takes time. ANd most likely any milestone or new phase of life, the old stuff IS going to creep in for them....and they will again then have to deal with stages of grief to some degree again. They might need to know that is OK----they may need to know it is ok becuz they are who they are and they are still valuable human beings, and that the whole of them is turning out decent and good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 11576, member: 1697"] Nomads post that came while I was typing mine reminded me of what else I meant to say. Someone in another post spoke of the stages of grief and it was discussed how everyone grieves in their own time frame etc. and in their own way. For the first half of kt and wms life they were abused, - is that correct? The stages of grief apply to more than just a death. They apply to us as our children get diagnosis'es and we have to lay aside the expectations hopes and dreams we had when we first thought of having kids. It applies to people who have lost their innocence or their "normal" childhood. Likely kt and wm did not know back when they were younger and still living there that what they were living was NOT "normal" They now need time to grieve for the loss of what they NOW know was not "normal" and they will go thru the stages of grief over it. It may take them a lot longer to go thru the stages of grief becuz they are young. It might take them their whole life. ALl our life experiences shape us, make us who we ultimately become. Everything they have lived thru, everythng they have experienced- it cannot be erased, it is part of who they are. Time and love from people who care can help soothe some of the past, but, it takes time. ANd most likely any milestone or new phase of life, the old stuff IS going to creep in for them....and they will again then have to deal with stages of grief to some degree again. They might need to know that is OK----they may need to know it is ok becuz they are who they are and they are still valuable human beings, and that the whole of them is turning out decent and good. [/QUOTE]
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