Admittedly, the tweedles have been victimized. There are traumas we may never know about or want to know about. husband & I have been looking for ways to turn the victimization attitude in the tweedles to something more positive. That of a survivor - to hold your head high & move forward. Not drown in the past. kt has her CD of strong girl songs. There is a great deal of redirection & redefining for kt. In kt we're seeing less of the victim mentality & more survivor. We've had less success for wm. It doesn't help to point out that others have suffered. There is too much "self centeredness" in the victim attitude. Less empathy. However, I'm finding that if we cannot overcome the idea of being a victim for the tweedles, they will have little ability to move forward. Little ability to function. I keep reminding them (when they are in victim mode) how strong they are - how much they have survived. It's proving, as the tweedles hit puberty, to be quite the challenge. I pray daily that we can stop the cycle of abuse in kt & wm. I pray that we are making the right decisions on their behalf - getting the right interventions in place. Just thinking outloud this morning. My tweedles have so much going for them - they just don't recognize it yet.