Checking in and OA

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Nov 4, 2008.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    Hello everyone,

    I haven't had time to check in for a while and I've missed so much! I must find at least 15 minutes a day to connect with one of my major support systems.

    My alanon meetings are just wonderful. I feel so hopeful on levels where I never would have imagined to hope. I am grateful for so many things in my life and you ladies are a huge part of that.

    Manster is doing ok but the school anxiety is really bad this year. He begs every morning for me not to make him go. 4th grade pressure are too much in my opinion. His teacher is great and understands the issues (and is part of the 504 team) and I think manster is doing the best he can. Pulling C- in math and B- in the reading/writing. I praise him all the time for it too. Because he truly is trying so hard.

    I'm thinking of taking him to an OA meeting. His eating to deal with emotions and anxiety has escalated and his weight ballooning. I also tend to use food (not to that degree but still) and found a local meeting that I thought I would go to.. and ask him if he'll go with me. He loves doing things with me, just the two of us (though new situtions are scary). I don't know what else to do. I have (mostly) only healthy food in the house. I've always let him snack when he's said he's hungry and now wish I had been stricter from the beginning bout no eating in between meals. I've also started making him walk with me, Grammy has him Tues and is working out on the treadmill with him. But we still need to address that emotional aspects of his compulsive eating. I know he is young but I feel so powerless yet as a parent feel that I need to try this.

    Any thoughts?

  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I would wonder if a 10yr old would be emotionally mature enough for a 12 step program. He may be, but I know my 10yr old would not be. Is Manster in therapy? I would consider doing that before OA. Maybe look for an over eating program designed for kids.
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I agree, if their was a kids group that could be fun.
    N has the opposite problem. She will not eat because of Anxiety and Sensory issues.
    She is not wanting to go to school, it is just too much. Overwhelming.
    I am worried that we will start seeing more of the problems once she enters K.
    Anxiety is so hard on our kids
    I have not found any answers for N yet, except keeping her home in a quiet cozy place!!! LOl
    The sad thing is, no one sees it with her. "All 4 yo's are anxious"
    Our K overeats, due to her medications. I hate it. It is not so bad right now. We are able to keep her active.
    But the rest of her body is staying somewhat lean, but it still just hangs onto her tummy.
    Poor kids.
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I think a private therapist would be better than one of the 12 step groups, which are typically geared for adults. You could probably find books on the subject either in the library or a retail shop that could give you tips on how to handle this yourself at home, one on one with him.

    We've had eating issues with difficult child 2 because of his medications, so I've had to have chats with him about healthy eating (what is and what isn't) and had him come up with some ideas for foods he would enjoy eating that are lower in calorie but that would also satisfy his hunger and/or cravings (carrots, apples, plain popcorn).

    In the case of a kid who's eating out of anxiety, it would be good to try to get him to start a feelings journal. Have him write down how he's feeling about the events of each day, perhaps at the end of the school day when things are fresh in his mind. You'll probably be able to show him after just a few days the pattern between his feelings and his impulse to eat when he's upset. You can then talk about ideas for things he can do when he's feeling upset or anxious instead of eating. Going for a walk, shooting some baskets or some other physical activity that he enjoys, drawing, writing in a journal, talking to you or another support person, playing music, meditating, reading a book... the list is endless and it can work if you have him participate in coming up with the solutions.

    I'm not a therapist but these are just some things that have helped for us.

    Last edited: Nov 4, 2008
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hey, I haven't seen your annoying paperclip around in a while! Nice to see you. Glad things are going good for you. Sorry mansters eating like crazy, tho. That's tough.

    Any chance you could get him into a sport or gaming group or anything to occupy his time with something besides eating? Beleive me, I realize how hard it is to do that...but just wondering.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Why not check the local hospital to see if they have a group for kids that deals with overeating? I think, if he will behave during OA that it can't HURT, but I don't know if it will help.

    Our podunk local hospital has a really GREAT 6 week program for kids (that they can do over and over, but it is only a 6 week commitment so parents can push them into it) that deals wtih food and overeating and exercise. I thought it might be a good resource for you all to check on.

    I am sorry the pressure of 4th grade is so hard on Manster.
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    Thanks everyone I appreciate your support on this.