Child support process??

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Jul 1, 2010.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I have filed for CS from difficult child's father. I have never done that before but they already have a file on him because Department of Juvenile Justice filed when difficult child was in their system. They never got anything- his father is in a different state, paternity was never established because he didn't show up at the hospital when difficult child was born, and we weren't married. However, I have been told conflicting info about how much they might go after him anyway, even if they need to force him to take a paternity test.

    I have sent them all the info I have- everything- photos, previous drivers license numkber, b-day, location, etc, both when Department of Juvenile Justice filed on him and when I sent an application in. Now I get a letter saying I am being "summoned" to a meeting at dss so they can get more info and it says to bring court order, paternity tests, etc. I don't have any of that- and they already know it because I told them before.

    I have never gone thru this process before so I'm wondering, just exactly why are we having this meeting? I'll call them tomorrow and try to actually speak to someone in the know, but I don't have anymore info that can help them.

    It is really annoying to me to see the economical inefficiencies around here when funding for needed services is almost nonexistent anymore. I don't know if it's just this county or not, but they spend more time with their employers doing nothing but repeating paperwork and "checking" things that they have already been provided info on and absolutely. nothing. gets. accomplished. for months- then they say they don't have funding for more.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    It's not just your county. I fought with ours repeatedly over info I'd given them about Useless Boy, that they couldn't be bothered to use. He was in a different county, and I know that if I'd been receiving any state assistance, they'd have been all over that. Will you be able to collect anything? I was told that I could only collect starting from the time I'd filed, not before, even though Useless Boy hadn't lived with us for nearly a year.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I doubt I'll get a penny but that isn't the only reason I'm filing. It complicates my families' efforts- mainly my bro- to get custody of difficult child. It really would be good for difficult child to know his father since they haven't met- even though his father will trash me and blame everything on me, too, it's still preferable to my bro doing it and difficult child probably getting molested by someone. In any case, I have filed for public assistance (I hadn't before and that's a large reason why I'd never filed before) but since now I have, I'm hoping that helps. I'm not so concerned about this state making an effort as I am about the other state. But this state use to have a law that if the parents weren't married and the non-custoduial parent lived out of state, they didn't go after them at all. I'll go to the meeting- but I'll call tomorrow and tell them I don't have anymore info and there have not been any previous court actions. It better not be a lengthy meeting though or they are going to make me miss my first dr appointment in the past 18+ months.

    I'm just frustrated with all our county agencies' *stuff*. It really starts appearing like because they can't come up with any better way to pusue something that would actually be effective, they will spend bucco resources and manhours on something that won't help at all. And then pay people to do statistics on why this approach didn't work. But if I mention being concerned about where this is leading- oh well, I am just too worried about something that hasn't even happened yet. I guess I'll learn one of these sdays not to be the one to tell them that the emporer has no clothes on. LOL!
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well...VA has come out of the dark ages on support. My ex just got an order saying he owes the state of VA around 30K for me! LMAO. Justice!

    I doubt I will ever see a dime either because it gets tacked on after his other orders are paid off. I think that will be when hell freezes and pigs fly.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't know much about the process but many states are retarded about child support. I know several people who went with private companies to collect the support. They ended up paying about 30-40% of what they would get in back support to the agency. The people I know all felt it was totally worth it. When they gave info to the state about the support not being paid or the other parent working under the table to avoid child support, the state agency would do nothing with it for months - if they did anything at all with it. The private agency sent people out to take photo and video of the parents working, driving nice cars, with boats and rvs in the driveways. They tracked down registration on the vehicles and toys, mortgage info, etc... One dad was actually recorded at a bar bragging about how his employer pretended to fire him and paid him under the table. The dad thought he was talking to a bar buddy about how he could get out of paying his wife so much child support and he could still have a great life.

    Not sure you would be interested in using one of these agencies, but it might be something to keep in the back of your mind. If the state ever does get an order of support and the guy doesn't pay it you might end up with a nice sum to help put difficult child through college or whatever. Shouldn't his father be liable for half the legal fees?? That just occurred to me.
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow, I'm impressed. Here in the backwater of the universe, husband was aggressively pursued and threatened, child support was increased based on what the judge thought he SHOULD earn, and then backdated years.

    CSEA just did an audit on BM's - their website says she owes $600, our records are more like $2500. The audit came back - oh, she's only behind $800. Too bad for you.

    I looked at the final records from when husband paid and NO WAY could I get what he paid to match the order or what they had in the list of payments. Going by basic math, he overpaid by around $10,000 - but CSEA, though they show the payments in full, somehow did not apply them... It's like the money went POOF.

    As for BM? When they AGREED she was over $1000 behind (a while back), they sent her a letter saying she'd better pay up. Nothing happened. husband was able to give CSEA her correct address and employer, plus a statement from her saying until her employer took it out of her check, she wasn't responsible for it. Six months went by... When her tax refund came to husband in entirety, she started paying again. But never the full amount.

    I can't figure out how 10-5=2. I give up.

    Also saw first hand how our local CSEA treats men versus women. H went in, they were all over themselves. E went in TEN MINUTES LATER - they treated him like dirt. Never mind that he was actually ahead...
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I called but couldn't speak with the CW, so the lady said not to worry about bringing anything, just come in for the meeting. I still can't figure what the meeting is about then, if I don't have anything else and have already submitted required paperwork on him, difficult child, and me. Whatever.

    I had no choice but to file now due to filing for public assistance. Now, when I was pregnant with difficult child I found out this guy was a dead-beat dad- he owed tons of money for his first child, whose mother had filed due to needing public assistance. It had been court ordered time and time again and even warrants issued on him for not appearing in court over it. They still never got him- the police knock on the front door with a warrant, he walked out the back door. They weren't going to take the swat team to his home and surround the house. He worked undeer the table, drove on suspended license, etc. He still lives in the same state so that's why I'm not sure the courts and police would do even that much for a kid not living in that state or taking money from their own DSS.

    After learning all this I called DSS there (while pregnant), and they couldn't confirm or violate his privacy but told me that since I didn't need public assistance at that time, they would not do anything on their own- they wouldn't spend money on a child who wasn't costing them money. They did say I could hire a private company, as you discussed Susie, however, what good would it have done to spend my money on that instead of difficult child if getting a court order on him doesn't get the money from him? The satisfaction of getting a court order or paternity establised ion him meant nothing, and frankly, at the time I didn't need any extra money that much. Also, DSS in that area (who had his file) said if they were pregnant with his baby, they would move and let him stay out of the child's life because they thought the child would be better off without him. I followed that advice but I don't think his history includes any abuse or neglect charges. If it did and DSS had that, even if I ended up getting CS, he wouldn''t get custody so that's not an issue.

    When they do a swab test for paternity, do they take mine too, or just his and difficult child's?
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I doubt custody would be a problem, esp if you can show that he did know about the baby. The money you "pay" for the agencies is not out of pocket. They take your case after an award for support has not been honored for a period of time. They get paid only if they get money for you. Their fee is a portion of the back child support, NOT money out of your pocket. It is money that otherwise you would not have. Some of these agencies are quite aggressive and can even go after employers with the threat of turning them in to the IRS and state tax people for hiring people under the table. It may get the sperm donor fired, but it still can get some $$ out of the employer to help cover the back support owed. Many moms think they have to have money up front to hire these agencies. Some may work that way, but the ones I have known all got paid only if they collected.

    Whatever you choose, I seriously doubt the courts would give the deadbeat custody. Esp if he had other kids he didn't support. Most courts will allow a teenager to choose where he lives and very very few would be willing to go live with a stranger. Though it might be a way to get custody away from your brother if push came to shove.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    As far as custody- I have no doubt that ordinarily he wouldn't stand a chance in hades. But difficult child's custody (at least temporarily- but he's 15yo) will be an issue again, no doubt. The issue is that I have now made it CLEAR (for the second time) to a judge that I have hit my limit. This automatically means reappointing a GAL who will review difficult child's placement...again. This leads to Department of Juvenile Justice saying they have no appropriate place to put him and he didn't go to Department of Juvenile Justice, therefore they HAVE to involve DSS for another family assessment. If difficult child goes to DSS, our recent DSS policies/laws leave them no choice but to put difficult child into the care of a family member and that means my bro because he has had his name listed with them for the past 3 years. I personally would prefer difficult child fgo to his father than to my bro. Yes, I know he's a dead-beat dad and probably won't take difficult child- except if he thinks he can't get by without paying CS this time, he might prefer custody over paying me CS.

    This might seem like excessive worry to some, but I am pretty sure it is another "I see it coming event" based on how I've seen things play out and what I've been told over the past 3-4 years.

    What's going on now? The judge can either choose to call another hearing in the near future to address my MH evaluation and 1) order mental health treatment for me; 2) have me address my letter saying I'm not taking medications or getting treatment for familial tremors under some pretense that this caused difficult child's delinquency. If either of these things happen, I can appeal it which puts it in a higher court with a different judge.

    Or, the current judge might not do anything just yet and since difficult child has no upcoming hearings scheduled at this pooint, he would automatically come home to me- they have no legal authority or judgement to do otherwise- but if (when) difficult child gets into trouble again, assign the GAL and call in DSS for the same ole, same ole.

    However, I have to move out of the house within 1-2 months and that's about the time difficult child will be released from detention. So far, I have no place to move us to. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if I know we'd both be homeless. I am going to try to prevent that, of course. I have a call into my DSS worker for public assistance. As you can guess, the DSS worker for public assistance, CS, and family assessments are all different people. (Family assessment is not the same as CPS- it's the portion of DSS that works with the courts in delinquency cases.) This is how my bro got around the custody case, which he had no cahnce in hades of winning. If difficult child ever goes into foster care, he would go straight to my bro without my bro having to prove he would be a better "parent" or anything else. If difficult child's father is iinvolved, however, the first consideration would be for him.

    It's not that I've manipulated all this- I honestly had NO choice but to file for public assistance and that set all this in motion.

    The only thing that could make a major difference is if my bro doesn't pass a home study, but that's highly unlikely. It doesn't take a genius to remove weapons from a house and clean it and act like they care. He's living a gay lifestyle- with a signifacnt other- and that could put a big damper on it due to laws in my state, however, the dss in his state allows them to be foster care guardians, but not to adopt. Anyway, all states are hurting so much right now as their case loads increase and they have less funding for placements into group homes, non-relative foster placements, etc, they'll probably accept any home that has a roof and food. His state isn't known for making good decisions by DSS to begin with.

    I'm not allowed to do a parental placement (where I have to agree of the placement and can revoke my permission and keep parental rights) with dss because difficult child is in the juvenile court system. I tried that before he went to Department of Juvenile Justice last year.
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010