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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 423163" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Malika, you have a bright son there. He also has great faith in you. He laughs, because he knows it is not true but he is enjoying the "let's pretend". It is actually very good, because it allows him to explore a possible distressing scenario and not be upset by the thought of it. Even if he knew it was not true, it was not a game I could easily play with difficult child 3, when he was younger. Even now, he needs help to know if someone is joking.</p><p></p><p>On tat front - often people with autism in whatever form have what is called "flat affect". A lack of facial expression, or lack of tone in the voice. husband (we think he's Aspie) has had to learn that when he tells a joke, he has to smile. Otherwise he would make the occasional smart remark with a deadpan face, and people would look at him oddly - surely he wasn't serious? Even good comedians who play it deadpan, usually give away that it is a joke, in some subtle way. </p><p></p><p>Interestingly - we have a neighbour (and former good friend of mine - I avoid the guy now, he's a sociopath) who is an entertainer. His performance involves a lot of comedy, he has a fount of jokes. His interactions with people he is trying to impress usually involve a comedy routine. He believes himself to be the best at everything, especially entertaining and comedy. Well, one day he was visiting and trading jokes with difficult child 1. Most of the jokes were puns, but there were some chances for difficult child 1 to draw on his encyclopedic knowledge of quotes and quips from countless TV shows, movies and books. As we watched, the comedian neighbour was floundering more and more. At first he was enjoying the exchange, confident he would have the last quip. But then he ran out of material and began repeating himself. I finally had to send difficult child 1 out of the room!</p><p></p><p>This encyclopedic memory is an interesting asset. difficult child 3 is not socially very capable. He also was tormented at school on a daily basis, and then again in the streets around our home. But he learned to copy what he heard (not all of it good). We worked to teach him to not be inappropriate but he is always inventive, using what resources he has available. One day he came back from a trip to the library and reported a victory - on his way there, the local bully had chased him. difficult child 3 just shouted over his shoulder to the bully, "I'm very busy right now. I'll come back and ignore you later, OK?"</p><p>He told me the expression comes from a computer game, but it clearly was NOT what the bully expected! It was one of the last times that kid ever bothered difficult child 3. One last punch when I went round to the boy's house and sorted things out, said it's time for it all to stop. And since then, the bully has become, if not a friend, then a sometime rescuer of difficult child 3 when younger kids have begun to hassle him.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 423163, member: 1991"] Malika, you have a bright son there. He also has great faith in you. He laughs, because he knows it is not true but he is enjoying the "let's pretend". It is actually very good, because it allows him to explore a possible distressing scenario and not be upset by the thought of it. Even if he knew it was not true, it was not a game I could easily play with difficult child 3, when he was younger. Even now, he needs help to know if someone is joking. On tat front - often people with autism in whatever form have what is called "flat affect". A lack of facial expression, or lack of tone in the voice. husband (we think he's Aspie) has had to learn that when he tells a joke, he has to smile. Otherwise he would make the occasional smart remark with a deadpan face, and people would look at him oddly - surely he wasn't serious? Even good comedians who play it deadpan, usually give away that it is a joke, in some subtle way. Interestingly - we have a neighbour (and former good friend of mine - I avoid the guy now, he's a sociopath) who is an entertainer. His performance involves a lot of comedy, he has a fount of jokes. His interactions with people he is trying to impress usually involve a comedy routine. He believes himself to be the best at everything, especially entertaining and comedy. Well, one day he was visiting and trading jokes with difficult child 1. Most of the jokes were puns, but there were some chances for difficult child 1 to draw on his encyclopedic knowledge of quotes and quips from countless TV shows, movies and books. As we watched, the comedian neighbour was floundering more and more. At first he was enjoying the exchange, confident he would have the last quip. But then he ran out of material and began repeating himself. I finally had to send difficult child 1 out of the room! This encyclopedic memory is an interesting asset. difficult child 3 is not socially very capable. He also was tormented at school on a daily basis, and then again in the streets around our home. But he learned to copy what he heard (not all of it good). We worked to teach him to not be inappropriate but he is always inventive, using what resources he has available. One day he came back from a trip to the library and reported a victory - on his way there, the local bully had chased him. difficult child 3 just shouted over his shoulder to the bully, "I'm very busy right now. I'll come back and ignore you later, OK?" He told me the expression comes from a computer game, but it clearly was NOT what the bully expected! It was one of the last times that kid ever bothered difficult child 3. One last punch when I went round to the boy's house and sorted things out, said it's time for it all to stop. And since then, the bully has become, if not a friend, then a sometime rescuer of difficult child 3 when younger kids have begun to hassle him. Marg [/QUOTE]
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