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Circle of support for crazymama30
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 399408" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sorry I didn't post earlier - I somehow missed this thread. You are in my thoughts and prayers, the whole family is. I am glad you were blunt with them and that they will waive the $500 - ask the person to put it in writing or email it to you with her name so that if you have problems later then you can go back and say that this person authorized it and agreed to it - and prove it. I have learned that this is an important step that is easy to forget.</p><p> </p><p>Many hugs and prayers - how are the kids handling things? Remember that you must care for YOU before you care for others. If you spend every weekend driving to go see husband it will stress you and the kids out unbelievably. It will show as problems in every other area of your life. This is a family problem, of course, and you DO all need treatment. But you DON"T have to go every weekend to his facility. I urge you to take the time to regularly attend alanon and to take the kids to alateen whether they want to go or not. At least for a few visits each. It might be good to take them to a couple of meetings together and a couple individually. SOmetimes having a sibling or parent or spouse at the meeting can keep you from expressing some things, at least that was my experience. I would put a higher priority on getting you and the kids to alanon/alateen meetings the first few weeks than on driving so far to see husband each weekend. Unless it is set up as family therapy with help/tdocs and maybe even peer sessions as support for the kids and you. It is just a thought - whatever you work out and are able to do will be the right thing. </p><p> </p><p>Sending you lots and lots of hugs, love and support. Remember that YOU deserve to be taken care of - FIRST, not last.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 399408, member: 1233"] Sorry I didn't post earlier - I somehow missed this thread. You are in my thoughts and prayers, the whole family is. I am glad you were blunt with them and that they will waive the $500 - ask the person to put it in writing or email it to you with her name so that if you have problems later then you can go back and say that this person authorized it and agreed to it - and prove it. I have learned that this is an important step that is easy to forget. Many hugs and prayers - how are the kids handling things? Remember that you must care for YOU before you care for others. If you spend every weekend driving to go see husband it will stress you and the kids out unbelievably. It will show as problems in every other area of your life. This is a family problem, of course, and you DO all need treatment. But you DON"T have to go every weekend to his facility. I urge you to take the time to regularly attend alanon and to take the kids to alateen whether they want to go or not. At least for a few visits each. It might be good to take them to a couple of meetings together and a couple individually. SOmetimes having a sibling or parent or spouse at the meeting can keep you from expressing some things, at least that was my experience. I would put a higher priority on getting you and the kids to alanon/alateen meetings the first few weeks than on driving so far to see husband each weekend. Unless it is set up as family therapy with help/tdocs and maybe even peer sessions as support for the kids and you. It is just a thought - whatever you work out and are able to do will be the right thing. Sending you lots and lots of hugs, love and support. Remember that YOU deserve to be taken care of - FIRST, not last. [/QUOTE]
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