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Clarification talk with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 608797" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks you all, my confidantes and beloved friends.</p><p></p><p>Sig, I have printed out those wonderful commandments and posted them behind my desk on the wall so I can just turn around and read them when times get tough. I wish they had a CODA group here. They don't so I am stuck with Al-Anon or Narc-Anon and feel a bit like an outsider. My son's issues are not primarily fueled by substance abuse. CODA is for all people who feel we can fix our dysfunctional loved ones, which of course we can not do.</p><p></p><p>I know this and I still can not 100% let him be alone. It was easier to make decisions regarding my daughter when she used drugs. I think it is because we did not know the true extent of her drug use and because, in spite of her drug behavior, did not threaten to kill herself except for the time she pulled a knife on herself and then, because I could SEE her doing it, when I called for help, I got help. She was never as "off the wall" as 35. Heck, I've never seen 35 this fragile. I am really afraid of suicide here and yet, because he spoke scary words, am also afraid to be with him. That ends any possibility of my being there for the trial. I just can't take that risk. There are others who need me too...I can't take a chance that the trial going against him will send him into a frenzied whatever!!!! So ex is going, but I am not.</p><p></p><p>I have come to the point where I am encouraging him to forget about the custody battle and take care of himself because he won't be able to take care of anyone if he doesn't. I have started telling him to go to ER. I will continue to do so. If he hangs up, he hangs up. He needs help more than anything right now and, in his state of mind, he needs it ASAP. That will be my mom's best advice to him. No more talking about the custody case. He needs to get his head straight first.</p><p></p><p>I am trying to answer other threads. Please forgive me if I am a bit too mentally tired to help as much as I usually try to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 608797, member: 1550"] Thanks you all, my confidantes and beloved friends. Sig, I have printed out those wonderful commandments and posted them behind my desk on the wall so I can just turn around and read them when times get tough. I wish they had a CODA group here. They don't so I am stuck with Al-Anon or Narc-Anon and feel a bit like an outsider. My son's issues are not primarily fueled by substance abuse. CODA is for all people who feel we can fix our dysfunctional loved ones, which of course we can not do. I know this and I still can not 100% let him be alone. It was easier to make decisions regarding my daughter when she used drugs. I think it is because we did not know the true extent of her drug use and because, in spite of her drug behavior, did not threaten to kill herself except for the time she pulled a knife on herself and then, because I could SEE her doing it, when I called for help, I got help. She was never as "off the wall" as 35. Heck, I've never seen 35 this fragile. I am really afraid of suicide here and yet, because he spoke scary words, am also afraid to be with him. That ends any possibility of my being there for the trial. I just can't take that risk. There are others who need me too...I can't take a chance that the trial going against him will send him into a frenzied whatever!!!! So ex is going, but I am not. I have come to the point where I am encouraging him to forget about the custody battle and take care of himself because he won't be able to take care of anyone if he doesn't. I have started telling him to go to ER. I will continue to do so. If he hangs up, he hangs up. He needs help more than anything right now and, in his state of mind, he needs it ASAP. That will be my mom's best advice to him. No more talking about the custody case. He needs to get his head straight first. I am trying to answer other threads. Please forgive me if I am a bit too mentally tired to help as much as I usually try to do. [/QUOTE]
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