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Clarification talk with difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 608918" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>One of the few things that you SHOULD do now is to look up the phone number for the police in his area. Put it into your cell phone or write it on your phone list. Given that he is speaking of suicide and homicide, if he says anything about it, you will be able to have the number handy to call. It will allow you to follow through and it will give you a sense of knowing what to do.</p><p></p><p>The rule is that if they say they want to kill themselves, or that they are going to, you call the cops in his area. Ask for a welfare check because he is telling you he wants to/is going to hurt/kill himself/ex/whomever. </p><p></p><p>They will go visit him. If this upsets his custody battle, that is HIS CHOICE. You told him you would call someone and you MUST or he will hold this threat over your head every time he has a problem. Even if you never call, having the number and knowing you CAN call with-o having to search for the number during the panic and urgency of a crisis will give you some sense of control over the situation.</p><p></p><p>It does often work. Even drunk my gfgbro stopped talking about suicide years ago because I called hte sheriff in his area and told htme he was drunk, at a remote place, and called me to tell me goodbye forever. He did NOT like having the cops come, esp as they already knew him and how paranoid and over-armed he gets when drinking. They go in with guns drawn when you live out in the boonies in the state he was in. esp as the people near him are borderline militia types. He HATED me for it, but he never again called with the threat of suicide. He knew I would not joke around and would not just give sympathy.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry he is miserable, but he seems determined to just blame you and take it out on you or whomever is around rather than to even attempt to try anything you suggest. NOtHNG you suggest other than giving him lots of cash will be what he wants. Do NOT feel bad because you have no $$ to help him. He is a fully grown adult iwth a child and in my opinion he needs to put more effort into trying to pull his head out rather than to just blame everyone else. He seems to be getting a good deal out of being able to blame everything on you and/or his dad, and that is just wrong. Who does he think his child will blame everything on? Given his instability emotionally, your grandson has got to be in a ton of turmoil and distress. in my opinion your son needs to figure out how to grow up and find a way to provide the calm and stability that his child needs. He seems to focus only on himself and that is NOT someone who needs custody of a child. It isn't fair to the child. Sadly, it sounds like your grandson has two parents more focused on themselves and their wants rather than on what is best for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 608918, member: 1233"] One of the few things that you SHOULD do now is to look up the phone number for the police in his area. Put it into your cell phone or write it on your phone list. Given that he is speaking of suicide and homicide, if he says anything about it, you will be able to have the number handy to call. It will allow you to follow through and it will give you a sense of knowing what to do. The rule is that if they say they want to kill themselves, or that they are going to, you call the cops in his area. Ask for a welfare check because he is telling you he wants to/is going to hurt/kill himself/ex/whomever. They will go visit him. If this upsets his custody battle, that is HIS CHOICE. You told him you would call someone and you MUST or he will hold this threat over your head every time he has a problem. Even if you never call, having the number and knowing you CAN call with-o having to search for the number during the panic and urgency of a crisis will give you some sense of control over the situation. It does often work. Even drunk my gfgbro stopped talking about suicide years ago because I called hte sheriff in his area and told htme he was drunk, at a remote place, and called me to tell me goodbye forever. He did NOT like having the cops come, esp as they already knew him and how paranoid and over-armed he gets when drinking. They go in with guns drawn when you live out in the boonies in the state he was in. esp as the people near him are borderline militia types. He HATED me for it, but he never again called with the threat of suicide. He knew I would not joke around and would not just give sympathy. I am sorry he is miserable, but he seems determined to just blame you and take it out on you or whomever is around rather than to even attempt to try anything you suggest. NOtHNG you suggest other than giving him lots of cash will be what he wants. Do NOT feel bad because you have no $$ to help him. He is a fully grown adult iwth a child and in my opinion he needs to put more effort into trying to pull his head out rather than to just blame everyone else. He seems to be getting a good deal out of being able to blame everything on you and/or his dad, and that is just wrong. Who does he think his child will blame everything on? Given his instability emotionally, your grandson has got to be in a ton of turmoil and distress. in my opinion your son needs to figure out how to grow up and find a way to provide the calm and stability that his child needs. He seems to focus only on himself and that is NOT someone who needs custody of a child. It isn't fair to the child. Sadly, it sounds like your grandson has two parents more focused on themselves and their wants rather than on what is best for him. [/QUOTE]
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Clarification talk with difficult child
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