The single most useful concept I got out of the approach was the reminder to "pick your battle". If we fight over every single thing, then we live in a war zone. I had to learn to let a LOT of things "go" - for years. Focus on ONE goal. Work through that, get it mastered, then pick ONE more.
I know. There's 1000 things that are all emergencies. Well, it feels like it. Twenty are emergencies, anyway. But... even neurotypical kids can't handle being reprimanded constantly over 20 different things - THEY shut down. Our kids? more likely, rage.
I have two kids. I will say that the whole approach works better with the not-quite-so-challenging kid - the one who is partly more typical, rather than the sibling who is... anything BUT typical, not even a typical non-typical. So... this easier kid caught on to the process. Would even tell me to "go put that in bucket C, Mom... we're trying to work on too many things at once". Sometimes we had to negotiate which items got relegated to "C".
Just my opinion, you can't do the whole problem solving thing once they get to the "rage" or "shut-down" level. It's too late. Either catch it early, or work it through after the fact. Which means... coming up with a collaborative solution for how to work through the "rage" or "shut-down" stage.
