Thanks for your responses. Interesting that we have all "taken away" slightly different things from this book. For me, I'd say the two most memorable things, that I try to put into practice, is 1) the realisation that children are difficult not for the sake of it or because they are bad but because they lack the skills to react differently and 2) that instead of meltdowns, problems can be solved together. This does actually work, at least some of the time, and seems to teach both parent and child useful skills. Well, it does this parent and child anyway 
