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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 373424" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well......all I can say is ATTA girl. Women are planners. And ya know. The fact that he apologized is a really, really good start to healing a relationship. HOWEVER; And I say this with every fiber of my well theraputized being. Things that are said in anger are like nails in a wall - they leave a hole, and while the nail can be pulled out, and the hole patched - the wall will always remember the nail. So...perhaps if there are other issues that caused your husband to come up with the things that he said in haste, or shock and awe or whatever that caused him to loose his control? Maybe NOW would be a really good time to suggest counseling for everyone. </p><p> </p><p>Raising a difficult child with a supportive, non-difficult child husband with a two family job in a perfect world IS STILL TOTALLY STRESSFUL and can split a marriage. Add to that everything else that is 'wrong' with any (what I call normal by our CD Board family) standards? And you NEED 1.) outside professional help at LEAST once a week. 2.) A good non-family, non-friend, non-partisan <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />ing buddy 3.) Someone who has been TRAINED PROFICIENTLY to look at a family dynamic and listen, absorb and come up with real-life solutions that are do-able. Not - "well how do you feel about this?" kinda **** logic and then send you away feeling like you missed the high bar in some kind of parental track and field competition. </p><p> </p><p>Whatever reason he said whatever he said? I hope that the two of you are able to work through this and NEVER EVER bring it up again for the rest of this childs life, because if the child ever finds out that any of this was said? Even in an argument at age 30? Can you imagine how he (yes he -I'm a good guesser) is going to feel? So now is the time for you both to work on this and other things that are bugging you both and get them dealt with as best you can. </p><p> </p><p>You are a great Mommy, a Smart woman, and a Wonderful wife.......go with that. Be modest - find a therapist you both like and if he won't go? You go. You're going to need all the help you can get. </p><p> </p><p>Again - </p><p>Hugs, Peace - Shalom.....Throws flower petals.....and a pickle (well it sounded pregnanty) </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 373424, member: 4964"] Well......all I can say is ATTA girl. Women are planners. And ya know. The fact that he apologized is a really, really good start to healing a relationship. HOWEVER; And I say this with every fiber of my well theraputized being. Things that are said in anger are like nails in a wall - they leave a hole, and while the nail can be pulled out, and the hole patched - the wall will always remember the nail. So...perhaps if there are other issues that caused your husband to come up with the things that he said in haste, or shock and awe or whatever that caused him to loose his control? Maybe NOW would be a really good time to suggest counseling for everyone. Raising a difficult child with a supportive, non-difficult child husband with a two family job in a perfect world IS STILL TOTALLY STRESSFUL and can split a marriage. Add to that everything else that is 'wrong' with any (what I call normal by our CD Board family) standards? And you NEED 1.) outside professional help at LEAST once a week. 2.) A good non-family, non-friend, non-partisan :censored2:ing buddy 3.) Someone who has been TRAINED PROFICIENTLY to look at a family dynamic and listen, absorb and come up with real-life solutions that are do-able. Not - "well how do you feel about this?" kinda **** logic and then send you away feeling like you missed the high bar in some kind of parental track and field competition. Whatever reason he said whatever he said? I hope that the two of you are able to work through this and NEVER EVER bring it up again for the rest of this childs life, because if the child ever finds out that any of this was said? Even in an argument at age 30? Can you imagine how he (yes he -I'm a good guesser) is going to feel? So now is the time for you both to work on this and other things that are bugging you both and get them dealt with as best you can. You are a great Mommy, a Smart woman, and a Wonderful wife.......go with that. Be modest - find a therapist you both like and if he won't go? You go. You're going to need all the help you can get. Again - Hugs, Peace - Shalom.....Throws flower petals.....and a pickle (well it sounded pregnanty) Star [/QUOTE]
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