Confusing custody issue

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kim75062, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    Ok this will be a long one!

    First it's not my child, it's my husbands aunt that's for herself into this situation.

    Ok so last year aunt P (62 and disabled from joint issues, can walk but is always in pin). gets a phone call at 7am before her coffee and before she was fully functioning properly from her estranged cousin we will call grandpa C (58 and healthy). That he needs her to come get his 3 grandchildren right away (ages 5,6,7) CPS workers are at his daughters house to take them away for neglect and parental drug use. He can't take them but we will get to that later. Aunt P having a big heart and no brain went over to help. CPS handed the children over to aunt P to take home with her on the spot. Aunt P is well known with CPS for raising her own grandchildren and was in the system as a safe place.

    Recap (aunt P and grandpa C = 1st cousins)

    Fast forward to the next month and AUNT P , Grandpa C and momof3 all go to court. AUnt P and grandpa C get awarded joint custody of 3 kids with placement with aunt P until momof3 gets her :censored2: together. Grandpa C is susposed to take 3 kids on his days off and daytime hours every other weekend. CPS closes the case because the kids are no longer in harms way and not placed in the "system". Aunt P was oblivious to what that actually meant.

    Now for some side info, grandpa C can't have custody of 3 kids because he has custody of 3 kids older brother (10). Older brother of the 3 kids can't be trusted to keep his hands out of 3 kids pants.

    Now fast forward to 2 months later. Aunt P is raising and supporting 3 kids with no help from grandpa C or parents on her social security alone. The 3 kids are "to much" for grandpa C to handle so he won't take them for his visitations. Momof3 has not come to visit once and has only called a handful of times.

    Again at early in the morning grandpa C is calling aunt P to come to the hospital and collect baby. Baby is from grandpa C son and his girlfriend. CPS will not let babymom or baby dad take baby home. Babymom has element neglect charges against her from a previous child that CPS took. Baby was born with a very small head and lethal blood sugar levels due to babymom (type 1 diabetic) not taking insulin correctly or going to prenatal appointments. Aunt P being the person she is took baby home with her until these parents get their :censored2: together.

    Recap all 4 kids grandpa c grandkids.
    3 kids and baby = cousins

    Now to court for baby. Aunt P gets joint custody with babymom and baby dad. Aunt P has placement but babymom and babydad get only supervised visits by aunt P. Again CPS unenvolved themselves for the same reasons. Now aunt p has caught on.

    It's about 10 months later now. Grandpa C is useless and takes 3 kids and baby 2 at a time every other weekend for 2-3 hours. So he's contributing approx 1 hour a month per child as his help.

    Momof3 still hasn't done her drug treatment and calls maybe bi-weekly and is showing no interest in regaining custody.

    Babymom and babydad see baby maybe once a week for 2 hours. They live 3 blocks away!!!! And have court ordered visitation every m-w-f 3-5pm. Plus aunt p would never tell them no to come other times.

    Babymom and babydad have mental problems. They are on the border of retarded literally. They are just not smart people and will never be able to care for a baby. The intelligence and common sense is just not there. They tell people all the time there bringing baby home next month and get people to donate money and things for baby that baby never gets. They love with others that have lost custody for abuse and neglect and have no idea what's going on with baby's health and development. No jobs etc.

    Baby has a tiny head that thank god is growing and the docs are hopeful that she's won't be developmentaly delayed. Baby looks like a baby with some kind of retardation. It's sad to say but I can't think of a nicer way to say it. Baby will have a rough road ahead of her to overcome her horrible genes.

    Now baby is going to be 1 next month, aunt P is tired and can't do it alone anymore. Aunt P wants to move to Texas with me with 4 kids. Aunt P is broke and can't afford a lawyer. Momof3 won't consent, babymom and babydad won't consent and grandpa C has turned her into every state agency he can to try and get 4 kids removed from aunt P thinking that will force the state to give momof3 and babymom and babydad back their kids. (He's not smart either).

    There's no upcoming court dates, there's no lawyers, no CPS workers to call. What can aunt p do to get full custody of these kids? Is it even possible?

    She supporting 4 kids on food stamps and $700 in disability a month. All parents have been court ordered to pay child support of a grand total of $50 a month, aunt p hasn't seen a penny yet.

    Oh and dads of 3, 1 is in prison and the other in momof3s dealer.

    I can't help with the legal issue because I've never delt with custody at all. And google on had info for parents fighting parents. If CPS would of stayed envolved the parents would already of had their rights terminated to the court.

    Any advice will be appreciated!
     
  2. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    Sorry for the typos I'm using my cell.

    Momof3 has seen kids 4 times in over a year. She loves 20 mins away. Aunt p doesn't have a car to take the kids to her and has to give grandpa c gas money to take them smh
     
  3. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    Aunt p needs to take care of herself FIRST!

    Sounds like her only option would be to turn the kids over to CPS. And tell them she would take them at a later date ONLY if she can have full custody so she can leave the state.
     
  4. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member


    Aunt P won't do it, she will keep taking care of them until she physically can't.
     
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    She needs to talk to CPS. If they place kids in her care, she should be eligible for a monthly stipend for their care, they should pay for some childcare, day care or respite care, she should be eligible for food stamps, and the kids should have a medical card.

    CPS should have a family support worker that checks on the care taker monthly. They should have a worker that checks on the kids monthly.

    Their should be case plan meetings every 3 months... Something is not right... You can request to be a relative with interest in the children, and be notified of any court dates and other meetings.

    Good luck.

    Ksm
     
  6. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    That's what CPS is susposed to do. Or at least that's what I thought. For some reason they have decided that if the kids get placed with a relative no matter how distant, before being "taken" into state care they have no responsibility to do anything for them.

    She's called the case workers that were envolved to start with and after months of calling finally gets a return call that said "you live in the next county over, the children are now residents of that county, we have no active case and it's not our problem". County CPS worker where aunt p and children live " we have no active case, the children are in your legal custody and in no danger. It's a family court matter for you and your attorney to bring before a judge. If you don't want them and are admitting your home is not a safe placement for them we can remove them from your care and file a petition against you (aunt p) for neglect and being unfit".

    And yes she gets medical and food stamps. I buy the diapers on autoship, and kids clothes online and ship them to her.

    Also in her state there is no payments for kinship care, only liscensed foster parents. Oddly enough aunt p can't be a liacensed foster parent because of her low income and she has no room for more children in her home! Ridiculous right?
     
  7. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    On the legal paperwork it states who has custody, visitation etc. then goes on to state parents must do x things like parenting classes, get jobs etc. and when they have made substantial progress and or completed the list on the legal documents they can petition the court to regain custody.

    There's nothing on the papers that give a time frame to complete these things and what happens if they don't. It leaves these kids in limbo forever by the looks of it.
     
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I dont know her state but I was a foster parent and people on welfare were commonly foster parents so I dont get it. There was no income level one had to meet. They also paid kinship care.


    I did foster care in Illinois and Wisconsin and it was the same in both states. Where is this?
     
  9. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    NY
     
  10. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    I have a feeling Aunt P is going to have to turn the kids into CPS custody eventually. She cant raise these kids alone and is getting no help.

    Also baby is almost 1, not crawling, walking and no real words yet. can sometimes feed herself finger foods like baby puffs but that's it. Very colicky still and has sensitivities to everything as far as food, soaps, etc. So baby is very time consuming to care for.

    3 kids are as you can all imagine from the past living situation they are not the best behaved, and have a handful of problems mentally each. Aunt P got them in counseling right away but there still very hard to manage children. they are getting much better behavior wise but theres really only so much improvement that can be expected from kids that have gone through everything they have at such young ages.
     
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I wonder what a GoFundMe page for a lawyer to pay to get custody from the parents and to help pay for the therapies these poor kids need would result in? Especially if the neglect of CPS to do what they were supposed to do, which is provide the care the kids need as far as early childhood interventions that are so CLEARLY needed, was outlined? The attitude that "it isn't our problem, it is yours" is just what people don't want to hear, and I bet it would result in a LOT of egg on CPS face if this came to the attention of anyone.

    Maybe social media, GoFundMe, etc... could be put to good use to find the resources, attorneys, etc... to fix this situation? I haven't set up these sorts of pages, but I bet they cannot be too hard if a difficult child can use one to journey all over Asia. Pleas about kids needing help are usually met with lots of help. People can be real softies, especially if there is someone who truly is trying to help the children but is being turned away by the system at every opportunity.

    Why not take this public?
     
  12. Coffee Lover

    Coffee Lover New Member

    Can she reach out to Legal Aid? They may have some assistance they can offer in regard to her options.
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Legal Aid wont involve itself with family law.
     
  14. Coffee Lover

    Coffee Lover New Member

    In our state they do, my sister used them and one of my friends from church works there - he specializes in their Civil cases including CPS/Custody/Family/Domestic Abuse cases (sister used for Domestic Abuse and Custody), maybe it's a state to state thing? No clue.
     
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Maybe. Or maybe this is different from family law. Ok, so that is good.
     
  16. kim75062

    kim75062 Active Member

    Legal aid won't help her with custody because she's not a "natural or adoptive parent". The fact she's the one that currently has custody and the parents don't seem to want their children is irrelevant to them.

    The entire situation is a mess. I found the forms online for her and she's going to file for full custody herself. She can't afford a attorney but neither can the parents so the playing field should be level.