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Consequences!??
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 107158" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>To me, it seems useless to have consequences if you can't follow through with them. If you can't keep 'em, don't make 'em is my motto. No question keeping consequences is hard but when do kids start respecting us if we don't value our own word?</p><p></p><p>As to your mother, it is much easier to be on the outside and see where you are enabling that it is to be the one enabling. And maybe she's trying to get you to not make the same mistakes she felt she made. Who knows?</p><p></p><p>There is no way I would give a kid who uses pot or drinks the use of a car. It ultimately puts too many people at risk -- the driver, any passengers, anyone on the road with this person. Ditto giving them money. I'd never be sure it was going for the purpose intended or to get dope. Sorry, but there is no way I would take the risk of my child dying because I felt bad and let her use a car or have money. She'd have to get a car and money on her own.</p><p></p><p>Now, having taken the hardline stance (mainly because I lost someone very close to me due to a kid high on pot), I will admit I do understand how hard it is to always stick with the consequences. Sometimes we discover the consequences are harder on us than our kids. Other times, we just love our kids too much to see them that miserable. If the consequence isn't working, do what you feel is right for you and yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 107158, member: 3626"] To me, it seems useless to have consequences if you can't follow through with them. If you can't keep 'em, don't make 'em is my motto. No question keeping consequences is hard but when do kids start respecting us if we don't value our own word? As to your mother, it is much easier to be on the outside and see where you are enabling that it is to be the one enabling. And maybe she's trying to get you to not make the same mistakes she felt she made. Who knows? There is no way I would give a kid who uses pot or drinks the use of a car. It ultimately puts too many people at risk -- the driver, any passengers, anyone on the road with this person. Ditto giving them money. I'd never be sure it was going for the purpose intended or to get dope. Sorry, but there is no way I would take the risk of my child dying because I felt bad and let her use a car or have money. She'd have to get a car and money on her own. Now, having taken the hardline stance (mainly because I lost someone very close to me due to a kid high on pot), I will admit I do understand how hard it is to always stick with the consequences. Sometimes we discover the consequences are harder on us than our kids. Other times, we just love our kids too much to see them that miserable. If the consequence isn't working, do what you feel is right for you and yours. [/QUOTE]
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