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Contact with homeless son. Wants to visit and stay for couple of nights.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621871" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Since you want to see him and he wants to see you, and you are okay with him coming there for a couple of days, it seems that the only thing left to decide here is who is there with you? It sounds like you are strong enough to do this right now as well. </p><p></p><p>I would suggest the option of staying or going to the others. </p><p></p><p>State clearly that you want to see your son, you know it will be "messy", but you are ready to do it for a very limited time (whatever that is). You want it to go as well as it can go. They can either be part of the solution---or if they don't like any of this---they can choose not to be there and not create a further problem. </p><p></p><p>Make sure your son knows all as well so he is clear about the boundaries. </p><p></p><p>Here is my reasoning: If our difficult child adult kids are going to live an alternative lifestyle (nice choice of words) and we are trying to accept that, however ugly it is, and we still want to see them and they want to see us, then we have to figure out how to do that and what that looks like.</p><p></p><p>You could try this, see if it works. It's a pilot program. If it doesn't you can adjust the next time to an offsite visit (shorter, longer, etc.). </p><p></p><p>I like that you posted this question because it helps me think through my own situation with my son. If he manages to stay out of jail (or other), and we want to see each other at times, what will that look like? </p><p></p><p>Thanks LucyJ. Please keep us posted on what you decide and how it goes. That will really help me as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621871, member: 17542"] Since you want to see him and he wants to see you, and you are okay with him coming there for a couple of days, it seems that the only thing left to decide here is who is there with you? It sounds like you are strong enough to do this right now as well. I would suggest the option of staying or going to the others. State clearly that you want to see your son, you know it will be "messy", but you are ready to do it for a very limited time (whatever that is). You want it to go as well as it can go. They can either be part of the solution---or if they don't like any of this---they can choose not to be there and not create a further problem. Make sure your son knows all as well so he is clear about the boundaries. Here is my reasoning: If our difficult child adult kids are going to live an alternative lifestyle (nice choice of words) and we are trying to accept that, however ugly it is, and we still want to see them and they want to see us, then we have to figure out how to do that and what that looks like. You could try this, see if it works. It's a pilot program. If it doesn't you can adjust the next time to an offsite visit (shorter, longer, etc.). I like that you posted this question because it helps me think through my own situation with my son. If he manages to stay out of jail (or other), and we want to see each other at times, what will that look like? Thanks LucyJ. Please keep us posted on what you decide and how it goes. That will really help me as well. [/QUOTE]
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Contact with homeless son. Wants to visit and stay for couple of nights.
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