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Parent Emeritus
Contact with homeless son. Wants to visit and stay for couple of nights.
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 621964" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Hello All</p><p>Thanks so much for all your replies.</p><p>It is really helpful to read different points of view and different suggestions for dealing with this situation. As his mother, I tend to only see things from that angle, so thanks for the differing insights and possibilites.</p><p></p><p>Two things are clear I think:</p><p>1. I need to speak to my husband openly and honestly about this whole situation.</p><p>2. If my son visits then there need to be clear ground rules. Any visit will be conditional on him using a liberal amount of hot water, soap and deodorant as soon as he gets here, and wearing clean clothes (which I will have to buy). There also needs to be a definite deadline for me taking him back and an understanding that, if he starts acting-up or upsets his young sister in any way, then he'll be going back straight away.</p><p></p><p>One thing I tend to ignore, is the effect on his siblings, especially the youngest, both in worrying about him and being sad about the way he is, and having to deal with the upset to the household whenever he is around. We all need to talk more and decide things, and then let my son know what can or might happen.</p><p></p><p>Isn't it sad that a visit from a son, which should be a natural everyday happy event, should be such a big deal.</p><p></p><p>I'll let you know what we decide and what happens.</p><p></p><p>Hope you are all having a nice weekend. The sun is shining here in the UK for the first time in months!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 621964, member: 17650"] Hello All Thanks so much for all your replies. It is really helpful to read different points of view and different suggestions for dealing with this situation. As his mother, I tend to only see things from that angle, so thanks for the differing insights and possibilites. Two things are clear I think: 1. I need to speak to my husband openly and honestly about this whole situation. 2. If my son visits then there need to be clear ground rules. Any visit will be conditional on him using a liberal amount of hot water, soap and deodorant as soon as he gets here, and wearing clean clothes (which I will have to buy). There also needs to be a definite deadline for me taking him back and an understanding that, if he starts acting-up or upsets his young sister in any way, then he'll be going back straight away. One thing I tend to ignore, is the effect on his siblings, especially the youngest, both in worrying about him and being sad about the way he is, and having to deal with the upset to the household whenever he is around. We all need to talk more and decide things, and then let my son know what can or might happen. Isn't it sad that a visit from a son, which should be a natural everyday happy event, should be such a big deal. I'll let you know what we decide and what happens. Hope you are all having a nice weekend. The sun is shining here in the UK for the first time in months! [/QUOTE]
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Contact with homeless son. Wants to visit and stay for couple of nights.
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