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Coping with addicted, homeless adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 764888" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Hi Dad and welcome though I am sorry you had to find us. </p><p></p><p>As you may know I lost my son 2 years ago on Thanksgiving morning in California while he was on Meth and on a highway. He was hit and killed by an illegal immigrant with no license to drive. Only a Mexican consulate card. </p><p></p><p>I can relate to all that you are going through. We also sent our son to rehab and a wilderness program in his teen years. As an adult he spent many years in and out of hospitals after using meth and becoming psychotic. He also got kicked out of the army (with a general but honorable discharge) because of substance abuse. </p><p></p><p>I tried for years to save him and got very depressed along the way. Eventually this lead to my own psychotic breakdown (not drug induced but natural) and received a bipolar diagnosis. It took years for my brain to recover after that and I almost literally slept for 5 years. Now I have to take a handful of pills the rest of my life to stay stable. </p><p>I honestly don’t think the breakdown would have happened without all the stress anguish depression trying to save my son. </p><p></p><p>What I learned is that I couldn’t save my son. His choices were the only thing that would change anything. And he was a very like-able person and many well meaning people gave him opportunities to help him change. </p><p>But he always ended up choosing drugs ultimately. </p><p></p><p>It is not up to us to save our adult addicts dad. Your daughter has to look at her life and take her own leap of faith that a new decision will lead to a better outcome for her. </p><p>You should not be in a position to want her sobriety more than she wants it for herself. </p><p></p><p>Pray like you are currently doing. And if she ever does take that leap of faith be there then to support her. </p><p></p><p>You are powerless over your daughter’s addiction. It is very painfully difficult to come to terms with this as the parent. I understand. You want to do something…anything…to force the change. But you can’t. It has to come from within your daughter. She has to see what drugs and alcohol have done to her life for herself. </p><p></p><p>I appreciate your prayers if you have been praying for me. My grandchildren are really the ones that need those prayers now. Their mother is also an addict and CPS just closed a case against her and did nothing to help my grandchildren. </p><p></p><p>I will pray for you and your daughter too. Really that’s all the power we have in this situation. God loves your daughter more than even you do. Let go and let God. </p><p>That is the best suggestion I can give you. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and prayers, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 764888, member: 3305"] Hi Dad and welcome though I am sorry you had to find us. As you may know I lost my son 2 years ago on Thanksgiving morning in California while he was on Meth and on a highway. He was hit and killed by an illegal immigrant with no license to drive. Only a Mexican consulate card. I can relate to all that you are going through. We also sent our son to rehab and a wilderness program in his teen years. As an adult he spent many years in and out of hospitals after using meth and becoming psychotic. He also got kicked out of the army (with a general but honorable discharge) because of substance abuse. I tried for years to save him and got very depressed along the way. Eventually this lead to my own psychotic breakdown (not drug induced but natural) and received a bipolar diagnosis. It took years for my brain to recover after that and I almost literally slept for 5 years. Now I have to take a handful of pills the rest of my life to stay stable. I honestly don’t think the breakdown would have happened without all the stress anguish depression trying to save my son. What I learned is that I couldn’t save my son. His choices were the only thing that would change anything. And he was a very like-able person and many well meaning people gave him opportunities to help him change. But he always ended up choosing drugs ultimately. It is not up to us to save our adult addicts dad. Your daughter has to look at her life and take her own leap of faith that a new decision will lead to a better outcome for her. You should not be in a position to want her sobriety more than she wants it for herself. Pray like you are currently doing. And if she ever does take that leap of faith be there then to support her. You are powerless over your daughter’s addiction. It is very painfully difficult to come to terms with this as the parent. I understand. You want to do something…anything…to force the change. But you can’t. It has to come from within your daughter. She has to see what drugs and alcohol have done to her life for herself. I appreciate your prayers if you have been praying for me. My grandchildren are really the ones that need those prayers now. Their mother is also an addict and CPS just closed a case against her and did nothing to help my grandchildren. I will pray for you and your daughter too. Really that’s all the power we have in this situation. God loves your daughter more than even you do. Let go and let God. That is the best suggestion I can give you. Hugs and prayers, LMS [/QUOTE]
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