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Parent Emeritus
Coping with addicted, homeless adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 765005" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you Dad, for your comments. One thing I struggle with is my son's capacity to decide well in his life. His judgment is horrible. The whole issue of responsibility is so difficult when people have diminished capacity, for one reason or another. </p><p></p><p>But if I gain distance and don't feel the weight of this personally I say that parents should not take responsibility for their grown children, even if they're marginally responsible. It crushes us. We become beasts of burden. The other reason is that there will be a time that we're gone. And our children must reconcile themselves to real life unmediated by their parents. And finally, every adult needs their own relationship to their lives.</p><p></p><p>But I worry, fret and suffer to the extent I think my son can't do it. </p><p></p><p>He has said more than once,<em> I'm not you. </em>There is so much truth in that. Even wisdom. </p><p></p><p>And finally, aren't our paths, "G-d-given?" Can we say we will only accept the good and the easy? Isn't that the truth for us and for our children, too?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 765005, member: 18958"] Thank you Dad, for your comments. One thing I struggle with is my son's capacity to decide well in his life. His judgment is horrible. The whole issue of responsibility is so difficult when people have diminished capacity, for one reason or another. But if I gain distance and don't feel the weight of this personally I say that parents should not take responsibility for their grown children, even if they're marginally responsible. It crushes us. We become beasts of burden. The other reason is that there will be a time that we're gone. And our children must reconcile themselves to real life unmediated by their parents. And finally, every adult needs their own relationship to their lives. But I worry, fret and suffer to the extent I think my son can't do it. He has said more than once,[I] I'm not you. [/I]There is so much truth in that. Even wisdom. And finally, aren't our paths, "G-d-given?" Can we say we will only accept the good and the easy? Isn't that the truth for us and for our children, too? [/QUOTE]
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Coping with addicted, homeless adult daughter
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