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General Parenting
Coping with the daily stress...how do you do it?
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<blockquote data-quote="LoveMyDuke" data-source="post: 313414"><p>My situation is a bit different but also sort of similar. Im also in the step role to an almost 12 y.o. boy whose bio-mom is alcohol/drug addicted and MIA. He displays basically all of the same issues defiance, opposition, rages, swearing, lies, refusal to comply, bossy, mean, no frustration tolerance, can't trust him with anything, ARGUMENTATIVE. He pretty much runs the gamut of behavioral issues.</p><p> </p><p> There are so many wonderful, knowledgeable, amazing people on this board who will give you guidance and advice. Me not so much. Im having trouble coping myself and actually in the process of getting out. I get it from both my SO and his son and just cant take it anymore. But you sound like an amazing stepmom the kind of stepmom I tried to be; actually WANTED to be at one point.</p><p> </p><p> I hope your husband comes around, because MWMom is right I think a neuropsychologist evaluation is well overdue. I used to administer NP tests (not interpret themIm not a clinician) and can tell you that these tests are extremely comprehensive. If you can find a good psychologist, you will learn a lot about your difficult child. Just my two cents do some research, maybe with some facts under your belt husband will come around and agree to testing? I mean, what can it hurt? Is he in denial that maybe his son has more problems than just ADHD?</p><p> </p><p> My coping mechanism has been to detach entirely. I stay away and do not get involved at all anymore in his parenting, school, discipline, etc. Probably not an option for you, but thats how I manage to stay sane. That and counseling for myself. Im learning to focus on doing good things for ME.</p><p> </p><p> At any rate, I just wanted to offer my hugs and support. I know to some degree what you are going through. Difference is, I do not love my SOs son. Not by a long-shot, actually. Ive known him only 3 years, and quite frankly, he makes my life a living hell. But thats me, not you, and you sound wonderful. </p><p> </p><p> Best of luck. Stick around this Board and keep posting .you will find some amazingly strong and insightful people here that will help make sense of the insanity. Or at least offer a shoulder to cry on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LoveMyDuke, post: 313414"] My situation is a bit different but also sort of similar. Im also in the step role to an almost 12 y.o. boy whose bio-mom is alcohol/drug addicted and MIA. He displays basically all of the same issues defiance, opposition, rages, swearing, lies, refusal to comply, bossy, mean, no frustration tolerance, can't trust him with anything, ARGUMENTATIVE. He pretty much runs the gamut of behavioral issues. There are so many wonderful, knowledgeable, amazing people on this board who will give you guidance and advice. Me not so much. Im having trouble coping myself and actually in the process of getting out. I get it from both my SO and his son and just cant take it anymore. But you sound like an amazing stepmom the kind of stepmom I tried to be; actually WANTED to be at one point. I hope your husband comes around, because MWMom is right I think a neuropsychologist evaluation is well overdue. I used to administer NP tests (not interpret themIm not a clinician) and can tell you that these tests are extremely comprehensive. If you can find a good psychologist, you will learn a lot about your difficult child. Just my two cents do some research, maybe with some facts under your belt husband will come around and agree to testing? I mean, what can it hurt? Is he in denial that maybe his son has more problems than just ADHD? My coping mechanism has been to detach entirely. I stay away and do not get involved at all anymore in his parenting, school, discipline, etc. Probably not an option for you, but thats how I manage to stay sane. That and counseling for myself. Im learning to focus on doing good things for ME. At any rate, I just wanted to offer my hugs and support. I know to some degree what you are going through. Difference is, I do not love my SOs son. Not by a long-shot, actually. Ive known him only 3 years, and quite frankly, he makes my life a living hell. But thats me, not you, and you sound wonderful. Best of luck. Stick around this Board and keep posting .you will find some amazingly strong and insightful people here that will help make sense of the insanity. Or at least offer a shoulder to cry on. [/QUOTE]
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