Could use some good vibes, prayers ... UPDATE

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Ephchap, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    whatever you choose.

    My difficult child has his license suspended 2 years ago. The suspension was for one year, but you have to appeal it, and rumor has it that they rarely give it back before 18 months, so he decided to wait.

    His first offense stems from when he was 20 years old. Although he blew under the legal limit, there is zero tolerance for under 21 - so strike 1.

    Strike 2 came the weekend before he started college. We were so proud that he decided to go to the community college, while continuing to wait tables full-time. His manager from the restaurant had a bunch of them over to play cards after work. difficult child had to work at noon the next day, so instead of spending the night, he opted to drive home so he could get a good night's sleep in his own bed instead of the manager's floor.

    Bad decision. His manager felt really bad. He called us to say that he thought difficult child was fine or he'd have never let him leave. He was just over the legal limit, unfortunately.

    I'm not excusing what he did - just explaining why he's already had 2 strikes of DUI's.

    difficult child is now a homeowner, has started a new job, and is going to be a father the end of February. He and the mother of his baby hope to get married, but his health benefits haven't kicked in yet at his new job. When they do, their plan is to marry.

    He has filed all the paperwork and had his interview to appeal his suspended license. His final hearing is Wednesday.

    He really needs to get his license. His pregnant girlfriend has been driving him to and from his new job these past 3 months. It's 23 miles one way, so it's definitely a hike, not to mention the mileage they are putting on their only car.

    I would truly appreciate any good thoughts/prayers/beads/candles/whatever for my difficult child on Wednesday. He has done everything they have asked, and has not driven once during these two years, though it's been tough getting to and from work at times.


  2. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Rattling those beads and doin' Suz's naked chicken liver dance :smile:

    Crossing body parts for difficult child.
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Saying prayers. Sometimes, when they do the right things, they deserve some good! I pray his appeal board (or whomever he appeals to) will see his remorse and his want of a better life!
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending over some good positive hopeful vibes! If his appeal isn't successful, I hope he can at least get a conditonal license~fingers crossed!
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Prayers being sent. Candle being lit.

    He deserves to get his license back, but if he ever drinks and drives again, can you make him line up while we all give him a good, swift kick in the rear?
  6. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Deb, keeping EVERYthing crossed!
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Good luck to him!
  8. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Prayers sent.

    Hopefully they consider all of the things hes doing right.

    Prayers for your mothers heart too Deb. May you find peace whatever the decision.


  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Sending all kinds of good juju...
  10. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Keeping everything crossed and praying for some good luck (and an early Christmas gift) to come to your difficult child!!!
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm inventing a new dance just for him that is done in time with
    the rthymic clicking of the multi beads hanging around my neck. it is the rocks in my head colliding!

    You can count on me, buddy! DDD
  12. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Sunny - Your naked chicken liver dance is amazing. lol. Thanks for the good thoughts.

    Everywoman - That's my hope, that by doing the right things and trying to stay on track, that the powers that be will recognize it and reward him. Thanks.

    Jog - Yes, even a conditional license would be very helpful at this point. Thanks for the good thoughts.

    Meow - Yes, I'd definitely have him for a lineup of warrior mom kickers. I'd be the first in line, trust me. Thanks.

    CA Mom and HereWeGoAgain - Thank you.

    GG - Thank you so much for the kind sentiment. Yes, it's definitely hard on our mommy hearts when our kids are down.

    BBK - Thanks for the good juju!

    ck1 - Yes, that would definitely be a great Christmas gift. Thank you.

    DDD - ROFL about the rocks colliding. No, I can feel your rhythm from here. Thanks, my friend, for always being there.

    I truly do appreciate the good thoughts from everyone. It means a lot. I'll let you know how it goes.

    Hugs to all,
  13. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Update, sort of ...

    Sunny, put your clothes on. You can stop the naked chicken dance for now.

    DDD, stop dancing with those heavy beads around your neck for now. I don't want you to tire yourself out. It might be a while.

    difficult child won't know for 2-3 weeks, but he's not optimistic.

    Apparently they said that most get turned down and have to reapply in a year and then get it back. ??? difficult child waited 2 years to apply, since he had heard that. Guess he should have applied a year ago. How ridiculous.

    He had to attend 6 months of mandatory substance abuse counseling; the first four months in a group; the last two months one-on-one with the therapist. The therapist sent his report into the case worker, and rated difficult child as an excellent candidate to have his license reinstated - that he had done everything they'd asked.

    He had to turn in his AA signed papers from back then (he had to attend for 6 months), and then be evaluated a month or so ago by a different case worker. This woman met with my son for one hour and evaluated him as "fair" to get it reinstated.

    ?? She met him for all of an hour, and that carries more weight than the guy the state had difficult child meet with for 6 months? I'm just shaking my head here. I do not understand the system here at all.

    The person at the hearing today seemed to feel that my son had truly turned things around. He's an expectant father, a homeowner now, working at a steady 40+ hour a week job at a factory. She did caution, however, that to overturn the "fair" assessment, she'd have to take the case to her boss. She did ask that difficult child get back to AA meetings (not that easy when one doesn't have a license, by the way) and find a sponsor.

    She told my son that she's hopeful that her boss will agree that he can get it reinstated in 6 months, instead of waiting another whole year.

    So, we wait to find out the final determination, but he's not hopeful that he'll get it now.

    I will let you know. Thanks to those who sent good wishes.

  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Phew/Whew! Have to admit I feel pounds lighter and the "kink" in my neck is better.

    #&[email protected]^&* "the system". Geez, Louise! I just don't get it.
    Evidently I need to be indoctrinated in the Big Brother l984
    sense of living.

    I do understand:
    1. Law and order concepts.
    2. I do understand that society has to have someone in charge.
    3. I know that sometimes recalcitrants need "outsiders" to help.

    I do NOT understand:
    1. Using a mallet on a gnat.
    2. People getting off on the power trip of control.
    3. The concept of making people beg, squirm etc. and THEN expecting that they feel good about their lives.

    I am so blankin' sorry that such excessive penance is being
    extracted. I truly with my whole heart hope that he is a stronger and better person than I. After all that..I truly
    believe "I would buck!"

    Many hugs. DDD
  15. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Wow Deb. Major bummer. :frown:

    I think I might appeal too.

    I'm really sorry. Not the news I was hoping you'd get.
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    It makes no sense whatsoever how some people get the shaft when doing everything that's asked, and then some, while others make no effort at all and yet are repeatedly let go.
  17. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :nonono: ok, ok. I'll drop the dancing.

    Not quite what I was hoping for either. There is no explaining the system.
  18. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    NO - everybody needs to keep dancing!!! We CAN make this happen!

    :hypnosis: :hypnosis: :hypnosis:

    Sending hypnotic vibes to all people evaluating my son for his license that they find him to be a responsible young man that has changed and is in need of this license to continue his progress!!
  19. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    ROFL, Wendy. Thanks for the chuckle. I needed it.

    I'm getting S L E E P Y watching the gold thingie swing back and forth.

    Thanks again everyone. I'll let you know when he hears back from them.