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Could you please pray for me and mine
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 580591" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Quit sport? He is middle of the contract but if he wanted to quit, he of course could. And if he wanted to quit in this level and continue recreationally in lower level, I'm sure his team would give up their rights to make it possible. We are just now in a start of our College application season, so he could quit and apply to school for next fall. Or take a gap year. In fact he was asked if he wanted to take a break (would had been masked as a long-term injury though, because 'personal reasons' always raises much curiosity.) What he wants is a different matter. He doesn't want any breaks or sick leaves or quit, he wants to play. You have to understand that his sport has always been his security blanket, something he loves doing, that makes him feel a-okay, that makes time disappear and makes him feel powerful and in control. It's his 'lining up the cars' or 'spinning a tire' in the way. It's much too complex to be considered stimming, but...</p><p></p><p>Even when it is stressful, even when the locker room is scary, even when everything asked from him off the field feel so difficult to him, on the field is where he thrives (and lately he has again been doing well performance wise, so less anxiety because of that.)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Just now husband is a great support. But to be honest, I know there will be tough times with that too. This is a phase husband does well in crisis. Discussing, preparing, having meetings, formulating a plan, finding a lawyer etc. Even comforting me when I'm still in shock. It will last when he is still in shock also and when he has something concrete to do. After that, there will be those potholes. Having to accept what happened, guilt (we didn't cause this, but there are always those shoulda, couldas), that he doesn't do well at all, feeling like a failure, he is not good at that either, having to, once again, accept that difficult child is his own person, will probably again deal with with things differently than husband would think wise, having to accept, that difficult child is in this situation partly because he is who he is, and so on. That is when things are in danger to turn sour. I know it but right now don't feel strong enough to really think it. Neither am I strong enough to think how easy child will react to this.</p><p></p><p>One of the big problems will be what difficult child's girlfriend put to words (thank goodness didn't say it to difficult child but only me, privately), she (and let's face it, they, it is the same with husband and easy child, even partly me) doesn't understand why difficult child has to be so difficult child. If he wasn't, this, or things like this, wouldn't had ever happened...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 580591, member: 14557"] Quit sport? He is middle of the contract but if he wanted to quit, he of course could. And if he wanted to quit in this level and continue recreationally in lower level, I'm sure his team would give up their rights to make it possible. We are just now in a start of our College application season, so he could quit and apply to school for next fall. Or take a gap year. In fact he was asked if he wanted to take a break (would had been masked as a long-term injury though, because 'personal reasons' always raises much curiosity.) What he wants is a different matter. He doesn't want any breaks or sick leaves or quit, he wants to play. You have to understand that his sport has always been his security blanket, something he loves doing, that makes him feel a-okay, that makes time disappear and makes him feel powerful and in control. It's his 'lining up the cars' or 'spinning a tire' in the way. It's much too complex to be considered stimming, but... Even when it is stressful, even when the locker room is scary, even when everything asked from him off the field feel so difficult to him, on the field is where he thrives (and lately he has again been doing well performance wise, so less anxiety because of that.) Just now husband is a great support. But to be honest, I know there will be tough times with that too. This is a phase husband does well in crisis. Discussing, preparing, having meetings, formulating a plan, finding a lawyer etc. Even comforting me when I'm still in shock. It will last when he is still in shock also and when he has something concrete to do. After that, there will be those potholes. Having to accept what happened, guilt (we didn't cause this, but there are always those shoulda, couldas), that he doesn't do well at all, feeling like a failure, he is not good at that either, having to, once again, accept that difficult child is his own person, will probably again deal with with things differently than husband would think wise, having to accept, that difficult child is in this situation partly because he is who he is, and so on. That is when things are in danger to turn sour. I know it but right now don't feel strong enough to really think it. Neither am I strong enough to think how easy child will react to this. One of the big problems will be what difficult child's girlfriend put to words (thank goodness didn't say it to difficult child but only me, privately), she (and let's face it, they, it is the same with husband and easy child, even partly me) doesn't understand why difficult child has to be so difficult child. If he wasn't, this, or things like this, wouldn't had ever happened... [/QUOTE]
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