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Counting my blessings
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 100346" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>It's hard for me to get on top of that emotional response that comes with the holidays ~ the way it should be, the way it has been, blah, blah, blah. I know everyone else seems to have come through this part, so I am sure I will too ~ but I am really struggling with anger and resentment and jealousy. I know those feelings are pointless. I understand that I have the capacity to be bigger than that.</p><p></p><p>It's just a little harder to get there than I wish it were! :bag:</p><p></p><p>It's coming out sideways, like always.</p><p></p><p>I am aware of it though, and that helps.</p><p></p><p>We were able to go to dinner with some other adults ~ it was really fun.</p><p></p><p>So, I am grateful for that ~ grateful that it wasn't just husband and I again this year, trying to pretend everything was okay.</p><p></p><p>We have been very fortunate in that, and in having been able to do the things we are doing, now.</p><p></p><p>It's funny how hard it is not to slip back.</p><p></p><p>We heard from difficult child just before Thanksgiving.</p><p></p><p>That made it a little harder.</p><p></p><p>Okay.</p><p></p><p>A lot harder!</p><p></p><p>I am so happy to hear about your day with Rob, Suz! I can imagine how incredible it must have been to watch him carve the turkey....</p><p></p><p> :smile:</p><p></p><p>Sons can be so cool, can't they?</p><p></p><p>Yeah, I'm really happy for you, Suz.</p><p></p><p>Maybe one day that is how it will be for me, too.</p><p></p><p>And that is good, positive imagery.</p><p></p><p>In fact?</p><p></p><p>I think I feel a little better now.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 100346, member: 3353"] It's hard for me to get on top of that emotional response that comes with the holidays ~ the way it should be, the way it has been, blah, blah, blah. I know everyone else seems to have come through this part, so I am sure I will too ~ but I am really struggling with anger and resentment and jealousy. I know those feelings are pointless. I understand that I have the capacity to be bigger than that. It's just a little harder to get there than I wish it were! [img]:bag:[/img] It's coming out sideways, like always. I am aware of it though, and that helps. We were able to go to dinner with some other adults ~ it was really fun. So, I am grateful for that ~ grateful that it wasn't just husband and I again this year, trying to pretend everything was okay. We have been very fortunate in that, and in having been able to do the things we are doing, now. It's funny how hard it is not to slip back. We heard from difficult child just before Thanksgiving. That made it a little harder. Okay. A lot harder! I am so happy to hear about your day with Rob, Suz! I can imagine how incredible it must have been to watch him carve the turkey.... [img]:smile:[/img] Sons can be so cool, can't they? Yeah, I'm really happy for you, Suz. Maybe one day that is how it will be for me, too. And that is good, positive imagery. In fact? I think I feel a little better now. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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