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Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741751" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>All of you, thank you so very much. I cant begin to express my appreciation.</p><p></p><p>I know this makes no sense logically but because of how my mother hurt me, I could never do it to him, even though he can be awful. I cant leave my kids, any of them, with the legacy of a mother who disowned them. I have a kindness towards Bart...even if he suffers because he cant feel kindness's toward others. I wont deny him. He can be cruel but I want to make sure I dont act in kind. A cruel mother follows you a lifetime. I cant do it.</p><p></p><p>Bart loves me as much as he can love. There are limits here, except with his son....then he goes too far and treats him inappropriately (explanation below). To me it is not about how much he loves me. I have more love from others than a person deserves. I dont lack any, never feel unloved. It is about my loving HIM and how I continue to keep the love going regardless of how he can act toward me. And anyone.</p><p> </p><p>At the same time I do balance my time with him and vent here. And sometimes to my therapist. And, yes, he is narcicistic. And yes he is one who has many gifts, yet if you heard him speak he would tell you he is the most unlucky person on earth because he has to fight for his own kid. And nobody has it that bad. Nobody. Now he doesnt really have to fight for his son. He has 50/50. But he cant control his ex and the (this is him talking) horrible things she does to him and his son. There is a black cloud over his head. Blah blah, blah.</p><p></p><p>Copa he refuses to see his life as any better than your son sees his. Although I am sure you find it as ridiculous as I do, my son believes his life is that of a cursed man and there is nothing good in his life. Isnt that pathetic,? And he does have girlfriends but he cant keep them because they are only useful for as long as they can serve his high needs. His relationships are all about him. He is not in love with these women. I pray he never marries again. I pray becsuse of the women.</p><p></p><p>To the poster who asked if he ever asks how I am or how his ailing father is, NO. It is all about him. I am aware how odd this is. I have three other adult kids who àre full of kindness and love and a husband whom is still my greatest love and my best friend.</p><p></p><p>The contrast is striking.</p><p></p><p>I do not truly thinks he realizes that he makes his own self unhappy...that it isnt God throwing lightening bolts at him. That he throws his own lightnening bolts at himself. I don't believe he is self aware about his self centeredness. Many girlfriends csll him out on his lack of interest in them. He hangs up on them, blocks them, and is in a huff that they lied about him. But they arent lying.</p><p></p><p>The parental coordinator is a necessity. These two parents are tearing this little boy, my grandson, in half. Of late I see my son making the mistake of expecting this little boy to act as a peer, his friend and confident. J. is terrified of his physical mom snd crazed stepdad. Then he comes for relief from that with my son who never even yells at him and throws expensive electronics at him, anything he wants. But he also tells him about the legal crap and grown up problems he should be protected from. He shares his legal problems with his young son! He talks to him like a full grown peer. This started this year and it makes me sad. When I bring up that its not appropriate he doesnt see it.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I dont like to even tell my grown kids if I have a problem. They have their own stuff. IIdont want them to worry about me. And my grandson is a ten year old little boy. And there is nothing I can do to soften his life. They are fifteen hours away. I would love to get him for a summer snd show him Grandparent love, but Barts ex wouldnt allow it and I get that. So it can hurt my heart. </p><p></p><p>But I do take long time outs from Bart and bask in the wonder of my blessings. I have learnedl to marinate myself in the goodness of my life. My girls are beyond amazing, Sonic is truly the greatest gift from God, my granddaughter is my heart, my husband is and always will always be the great love of my life and such a wonderful friend. I have good friends, a life purpose and my dogs who fill me with happiness. </p><p></p><p>I dont always focus on difficult son unless things heat up, like now, then I have all you great people for venting. In general I feel very lucky. I am able to seperate my Bart life with my loving life. In some way I truly believe everyone who has ever been in this life with me is for the evolution of my soul and my future lives. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for all the great support.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741751, member: 1550"] All of you, thank you so very much. I cant begin to express my appreciation. I know this makes no sense logically but because of how my mother hurt me, I could never do it to him, even though he can be awful. I cant leave my kids, any of them, with the legacy of a mother who disowned them. I have a kindness towards Bart...even if he suffers because he cant feel kindness's toward others. I wont deny him. He can be cruel but I want to make sure I dont act in kind. A cruel mother follows you a lifetime. I cant do it. Bart loves me as much as he can love. There are limits here, except with his son....then he goes too far and treats him inappropriately (explanation below). To me it is not about how much he loves me. I have more love from others than a person deserves. I dont lack any, never feel unloved. It is about my loving HIM and how I continue to keep the love going regardless of how he can act toward me. And anyone. At the same time I do balance my time with him and vent here. And sometimes to my therapist. And, yes, he is narcicistic. And yes he is one who has many gifts, yet if you heard him speak he would tell you he is the most unlucky person on earth because he has to fight for his own kid. And nobody has it that bad. Nobody. Now he doesnt really have to fight for his son. He has 50/50. But he cant control his ex and the (this is him talking) horrible things she does to him and his son. There is a black cloud over his head. Blah blah, blah. Copa he refuses to see his life as any better than your son sees his. Although I am sure you find it as ridiculous as I do, my son believes his life is that of a cursed man and there is nothing good in his life. Isnt that pathetic,? And he does have girlfriends but he cant keep them because they are only useful for as long as they can serve his high needs. His relationships are all about him. He is not in love with these women. I pray he never marries again. I pray becsuse of the women. To the poster who asked if he ever asks how I am or how his ailing father is, NO. It is all about him. I am aware how odd this is. I have three other adult kids who àre full of kindness and love and a husband whom is still my greatest love and my best friend. The contrast is striking. I do not truly thinks he realizes that he makes his own self unhappy...that it isnt God throwing lightening bolts at him. That he throws his own lightnening bolts at himself. I don't believe he is self aware about his self centeredness. Many girlfriends csll him out on his lack of interest in them. He hangs up on them, blocks them, and is in a huff that they lied about him. But they arent lying. The parental coordinator is a necessity. These two parents are tearing this little boy, my grandson, in half. Of late I see my son making the mistake of expecting this little boy to act as a peer, his friend and confident. J. is terrified of his physical mom snd crazed stepdad. Then he comes for relief from that with my son who never even yells at him and throws expensive electronics at him, anything he wants. But he also tells him about the legal crap and grown up problems he should be protected from. He shares his legal problems with his young son! He talks to him like a full grown peer. This started this year and it makes me sad. When I bring up that its not appropriate he doesnt see it. Honestly, I dont like to even tell my grown kids if I have a problem. They have their own stuff. IIdont want them to worry about me. And my grandson is a ten year old little boy. And there is nothing I can do to soften his life. They are fifteen hours away. I would love to get him for a summer snd show him Grandparent love, but Barts ex wouldnt allow it and I get that. So it can hurt my heart. But I do take long time outs from Bart and bask in the wonder of my blessings. I have learnedl to marinate myself in the goodness of my life. My girls are beyond amazing, Sonic is truly the greatest gift from God, my granddaughter is my heart, my husband is and always will always be the great love of my life and such a wonderful friend. I have good friends, a life purpose and my dogs who fill me with happiness. I dont always focus on difficult son unless things heat up, like now, then I have all you great people for venting. In general I feel very lucky. I am able to seperate my Bart life with my loving life. In some way I truly believe everyone who has ever been in this life with me is for the evolution of my soul and my future lives. Thanks for all the great support. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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