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Parent Emeritus
Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741775" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Bart isnt trying to heal. He doesnt know anything is wrong. He doesnt blame me at all for his situation. He blames me for not saying the right things. These are the things he has told me to say because they make him feel better. Half the time I forget his list. Also I am sorry.. .if you call me up to talk for hours then I am going to say what I think is right. I dont like to be told what I have to say or cant say. Especially for hour long talks. These long talks to him mean I am supporting him. To not do it and to do it any way other than saying the stuff he likes, even though his mantras dont help him AT ALL, is not supporting him.</p><p></p><p>I have been doing this for five years, since ex ran off and took him to court. For the ten years he was married to ex she kept him away from me, and J too, so I heard from him maybe once a month.</p><p></p><p>I am tired of the games. This feels a lot like when I got totally tired of my sister, the cop calling, and decided to myself to break contact after my father passed away. But I dont see myself totally disconnecting from my son no matter what.</p><p></p><p>I do see myself being less and less compliant to what he wants me to say and therefore being less valuable to him so that he wont call me so often. I would be good with once a month again.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime I am going to set my phone on vibrate, and not put Bart in front of my other kids. His request that I do that is insane and it will never happen.</p><p></p><p>My hub and I and other kids have full lives. It is too bad that my oldest doesnt but in all honesty he doesnt want to badly enough or he would get help. He doesnt need my support, as he says it is.. Thats what he calls our relationship... "support" ...but I dont know if it even has a name. Insanity?</p><p></p><p>I know I feel a strong desire to keep us at once a month now. I dont want a part of this anymore. My life is basically peaceful and content....and then he calls and I need to keep those calls far apart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741775, member: 1550"] Bart isnt trying to heal. He doesnt know anything is wrong. He doesnt blame me at all for his situation. He blames me for not saying the right things. These are the things he has told me to say because they make him feel better. Half the time I forget his list. Also I am sorry.. .if you call me up to talk for hours then I am going to say what I think is right. I dont like to be told what I have to say or cant say. Especially for hour long talks. These long talks to him mean I am supporting him. To not do it and to do it any way other than saying the stuff he likes, even though his mantras dont help him AT ALL, is not supporting him. I have been doing this for five years, since ex ran off and took him to court. For the ten years he was married to ex she kept him away from me, and J too, so I heard from him maybe once a month. I am tired of the games. This feels a lot like when I got totally tired of my sister, the cop calling, and decided to myself to break contact after my father passed away. But I dont see myself totally disconnecting from my son no matter what. I do see myself being less and less compliant to what he wants me to say and therefore being less valuable to him so that he wont call me so often. I would be good with once a month again. In the meantime I am going to set my phone on vibrate, and not put Bart in front of my other kids. His request that I do that is insane and it will never happen. My hub and I and other kids have full lives. It is too bad that my oldest doesnt but in all honesty he doesnt want to badly enough or he would get help. He doesnt need my support, as he says it is.. Thats what he calls our relationship... "support" ...but I dont know if it even has a name. Insanity? I know I feel a strong desire to keep us at once a month now. I dont want a part of this anymore. My life is basically peaceful and content....and then he calls and I need to keep those calls far apart. [/QUOTE]
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Court case is over and Bart isnt happy
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