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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 621169" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p><a href="http://www.drkathleenmccoy.blogspot.com/2012/06/helping-adult-children-through-rough.html" target="_blank">www.drkathleenmccoy.blogspot.com/2012/06/helping-adult-children-through-rough.html</a></p><p></p><p>This site helps set a tone for discussions of various kinds with our adult children. Your son is very young, but I think you might find an emotional place to stand from reading this material.</p><p></p><p>The second thing: Picture how you would like to be during this visit ~ just a general picture of how you would like to feel going in, visiting, leaving the facility, even arriving home if you like. While you are picturing the emotional tone you hope to maintain during the visit, hold something small ~ a pebble, a pretty handkerchief, an eraser, in the palm of your hand. As you hold the item in your hand during the visit, it will bring you back, remind you of your intention and represent the emotional state you intend to maintain. It will bring you out of the FOG state and back to yourself.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry that happened, pasajes. She does not understand. Though she was participating in a support group, she has not been where you have been with this child. When this happens to me, I say a little prayer that the other person never has to come to that place where she understands why I am doing what I do.</p><p></p><p>I have been so arrogant in my time, too.</p><p></p><p>I had no idea what was coming.</p><p></p><p>********</p><p></p><p>When difficult child son was around 17 and going a bad way, the police in the city were watching him but had never caught him doing anything wrong. He got a ticket for a headlight out. The headlight was replaced, the police came to the house to see that it was replaced. But the repair ticket was never filed. difficult child son was picked up and jailed for ~ it wasn't very long. A few days. Though it would have been a simple matter for us to have stormed in and cleared that up, we left our son in jail. </p><p></p><p>We knew he was doing something bad too ~ we didn't know what, but I decided a little taste of jail might change the way he was thinking. One of his friends' mothers called, offering to pay the bail if we couldn't afford it. Embarrassing enough, right? Then, she was all over me about how I could leave him in jail.</p><p></p><p>Her son eventually wound up going to prison.</p><p></p><p>Mine did not.</p><p></p><p>To my knowledge, he has never been in jail since.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 621169, member: 17461"] [url="http://www.drkathleenmccoy.blogspot.com/2012/06/helping-adult-children-through-rough.html"]www.drkathleenmccoy.blogspot.com/2012/06/helping-adult-children-through-rough.html[/url] This site helps set a tone for discussions of various kinds with our adult children. Your son is very young, but I think you might find an emotional place to stand from reading this material. The second thing: Picture how you would like to be during this visit ~ just a general picture of how you would like to feel going in, visiting, leaving the facility, even arriving home if you like. While you are picturing the emotional tone you hope to maintain during the visit, hold something small ~ a pebble, a pretty handkerchief, an eraser, in the palm of your hand. As you hold the item in your hand during the visit, it will bring you back, remind you of your intention and represent the emotional state you intend to maintain. It will bring you out of the FOG state and back to yourself. I'm so sorry that happened, pasajes. She does not understand. Though she was participating in a support group, she has not been where you have been with this child. When this happens to me, I say a little prayer that the other person never has to come to that place where she understands why I am doing what I do. I have been so arrogant in my time, too. I had no idea what was coming. ******** When difficult child son was around 17 and going a bad way, the police in the city were watching him but had never caught him doing anything wrong. He got a ticket for a headlight out. The headlight was replaced, the police came to the house to see that it was replaced. But the repair ticket was never filed. difficult child son was picked up and jailed for ~ it wasn't very long. A few days. Though it would have been a simple matter for us to have stormed in and cleared that up, we left our son in jail. We knew he was doing something bad too ~ we didn't know what, but I decided a little taste of jail might change the way he was thinking. One of his friends' mothers called, offering to pay the bail if we couldn't afford it. Embarrassing enough, right? Then, she was all over me about how I could leave him in jail. Her son eventually wound up going to prison. Mine did not. To my knowledge, he has never been in jail since. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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