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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 525958" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Thanks Nancy. I don't want her to have felonies on her record, yet what she did was horrible and I am so releaved noone else was hurt. I don't know that we can handle her at all. She still goes off to an older girl's house and stays overnight. This girl is in communty college-but doesn't work and yet has her own apartment behind her mom's house. difficult child TELLS us she is going, doesn't ask. We have decided not to fight it because she will do it at all costs. The way we got to this judge to begin with was trying to block her from leaving and she pushed and kicked us to get through the door. We still struggle to get her to do things at home. She can be mouthy and defiant. She has her GED and because she got it before her graduation date, which would be next year-they will have her walk with the kids at the Alt. high school-so school would not be interupted.</p><p></p><p>Last night she got paid and stayed with this girl. She was supposed to work this morning but she could not find her security badge (surprize) and had to call her boss. I don't know what ended up happening. I was so stinkin mad! I think she had no intention of working today and wanted to party last night. I hope she doesn't continue doing this stuff, because without a job, she will go to DT.</p><p></p><p>As many of us have said-things go along great for awhile and then something happens that is stressful, like having your case sent to the JJS judge you detest, and difficult children melt down. They do everything not to face reality. Meanwhile we worry (I'm trying to let go honestly), loose sleep, etc. I tried to get her to just talk with me about it and try to get to a place of calm but she won't. She just said I don't want you and dad to talk, you'll make it worse.</p><p></p><p>Yes the judge will ask us to speak. He interupts us and tells us there is little hope, says her behavior has nothing to do with her mental issues and so on. He's a bully. I hate dealing with him as do most f the people who deal with him. He makes me feel like a horrible mom. I have always had an advocate with me from NAMI and she just literally holds my hand. She has stopped trying to educate him. She has been in his court 100s of times and he calls her "NAMI", not by her name, jerk! As I have said before, even the workers in his court room are affraid of him. Last time our lawyer and bailiff warned us he was in a bad mood and to be careful. That is when he released her, denied all the requests for further treatment and said, "Good luck, she all yours !" </p><p></p><p>She will have a public defender, we will not spend a dime on a lawyer-that really backfired last time. He even said," Here you have spent money to defend her", and called it enabling. The one assigned to his court room is ok-but he too has said this judge is unpredictable.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I am scared and I just hate the way he makes me feel. We have done everything our professionals have told us to do. I can't tell you the books and websites I have read. The hours of counseling and support meetings to learn all I can. I don't know any other families, besides you guys on this board, that have gone to the length we have to try and be the best parent we could to these kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 525958, member: 11001"] Thanks Nancy. I don't want her to have felonies on her record, yet what she did was horrible and I am so releaved noone else was hurt. I don't know that we can handle her at all. She still goes off to an older girl's house and stays overnight. This girl is in communty college-but doesn't work and yet has her own apartment behind her mom's house. difficult child TELLS us she is going, doesn't ask. We have decided not to fight it because she will do it at all costs. The way we got to this judge to begin with was trying to block her from leaving and she pushed and kicked us to get through the door. We still struggle to get her to do things at home. She can be mouthy and defiant. She has her GED and because she got it before her graduation date, which would be next year-they will have her walk with the kids at the Alt. high school-so school would not be interupted. Last night she got paid and stayed with this girl. She was supposed to work this morning but she could not find her security badge (surprize) and had to call her boss. I don't know what ended up happening. I was so stinkin mad! I think she had no intention of working today and wanted to party last night. I hope she doesn't continue doing this stuff, because without a job, she will go to DT. As many of us have said-things go along great for awhile and then something happens that is stressful, like having your case sent to the JJS judge you detest, and difficult children melt down. They do everything not to face reality. Meanwhile we worry (I'm trying to let go honestly), loose sleep, etc. I tried to get her to just talk with me about it and try to get to a place of calm but she won't. She just said I don't want you and dad to talk, you'll make it worse. Yes the judge will ask us to speak. He interupts us and tells us there is little hope, says her behavior has nothing to do with her mental issues and so on. He's a bully. I hate dealing with him as do most f the people who deal with him. He makes me feel like a horrible mom. I have always had an advocate with me from NAMI and she just literally holds my hand. She has stopped trying to educate him. She has been in his court 100s of times and he calls her "NAMI", not by her name, jerk! As I have said before, even the workers in his court room are affraid of him. Last time our lawyer and bailiff warned us he was in a bad mood and to be careful. That is when he released her, denied all the requests for further treatment and said, "Good luck, she all yours !" She will have a public defender, we will not spend a dime on a lawyer-that really backfired last time. He even said," Here you have spent money to defend her", and called it enabling. The one assigned to his court room is ok-but he too has said this judge is unpredictable. Honestly, I am scared and I just hate the way he makes me feel. We have done everything our professionals have told us to do. I can't tell you the books and websites I have read. The hours of counseling and support meetings to learn all I can. I don't know any other families, besides you guys on this board, that have gone to the length we have to try and be the best parent we could to these kids. [/QUOTE]
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