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cps at my door
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 399671" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>With hindsight, it probably was not wise to get upset at CPS. However, sleep deprivation...</p><p></p><p>We went through tis twice over difficult child 3. Each time I was of course upset, but I did not rant at the child protection people. They had been sent a query and they had to act on it. I would hate to think that I could report a serious concern (say, the next door neighbour beating their kid with an iron bar) and CPS fail to check it out. No, they have to check it out. And as happened with us, we were better off afterwards because we were so easily cleared of all wrongdoing.</p><p></p><p>Let's look at the hypothetical iron bar attack by the neighbour on his kid. CPS turns up. How will the guy react? Generally with violence and aggression, verbal abuse and "Do not come in, no you can't see him." How can CPS distinguish between you (with all you have had to deal with and all you are trying to do for your child) and the violent neighbour with the iron bar? They can't.</p><p></p><p>The person who came to your door is not the person who filed the malicious report. And the report may not have been filed maliciously - it might have been generated automatically by the school's attendance files. That happened to us - only in our case, the authorities first checked with the school principal who told them to back off. But the principal was also thereby given notice that the authorities were sniffing around the case and could take it into their heads to drop in unannounced.</p><p></p><p>The first time the welfare authorities were called on us, it was alleged social/emotional neglect because of difficult child 3's language delay. At the time he had not been properly seen or assessed although he had been on waiting lists for months. I was castigated by the authorities for not making enough fuss about the delays. It really did feel like guilty until proved innocent, and even then we''' consider you guilty. BUT - their involvement suddenly opened up the doors and rapidly shrunk the waiting list. difficult child 3 had fallen off the waiting list, it turned out, and we would have been waiting indefinitely. CPS involvement meant difficult child 3 got assessed within a month. From there he had his hearing checked out, and we were given another referral to a multidisciplinary clinic which eventually made the autism diagnosis. So what had at first seemed like unmitigated gall on the part of someone who should have not added to my already huge load - turned out to be a favour.</p><p></p><p>As I said, the next time was related to the truant officer system at the school, and came about due to difficult child 3's long absences form school that year. I had medical certificates to cover all the absences, but this wasn't good enough any more. It all turned out to be very useful, however, in the documentation we needed to show just how serious the problems were for difficult child 3. So again, it turned out to be a favour for us even though at the time it felt either like fiddling while Rome burned, or vexatious, or simply a flamin' nuisance when I already had enough on my plate.</p><p></p><p>I also found that the best way to resolve any concerns, is to open the door wide and say, "Look for yourselves. And here is the paperwork. Yo can see it is all in order. I strongly fought any instinctive desire to choke the living daylights out of the person on the doorstep - that way, I would be behaving like the abusive neighbour with the iron bar.</p><p></p><p>You have a huge load on your shoulders right now. And of course, that is when nature seems to dump even more on us. But whatever you handle now, doesn't have to be dealt with later. it also makes you stronger to deal with it and come out the other side.</p><p></p><p>From here - I'd be calling CPS, explain that you were taken by surprise after yet another night of no sleep, and you suspect this to be a vexatious claim which right now you could well do without, but you acknowledge that C PS have to do their job and assure themselves tat you're doing everything you can. I would also ask if there is any way they can help you get services you otherwise are having to mortgage your house for.</p><p></p><p>But get proactive. call them, before they come back with a warrant and the cops to enforce it. And if it turns out to be due to someone just trying to cause you trouble, then "bring it on!" because the sooner it gets investigated and found to be groundless, the sooner the litigant's name is mud in CPS eyes. CPS could be your unexpected allies in this.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 399671, member: 1991"] With hindsight, it probably was not wise to get upset at CPS. However, sleep deprivation... We went through tis twice over difficult child 3. Each time I was of course upset, but I did not rant at the child protection people. They had been sent a query and they had to act on it. I would hate to think that I could report a serious concern (say, the next door neighbour beating their kid with an iron bar) and CPS fail to check it out. No, they have to check it out. And as happened with us, we were better off afterwards because we were so easily cleared of all wrongdoing. Let's look at the hypothetical iron bar attack by the neighbour on his kid. CPS turns up. How will the guy react? Generally with violence and aggression, verbal abuse and "Do not come in, no you can't see him." How can CPS distinguish between you (with all you have had to deal with and all you are trying to do for your child) and the violent neighbour with the iron bar? They can't. The person who came to your door is not the person who filed the malicious report. And the report may not have been filed maliciously - it might have been generated automatically by the school's attendance files. That happened to us - only in our case, the authorities first checked with the school principal who told them to back off. But the principal was also thereby given notice that the authorities were sniffing around the case and could take it into their heads to drop in unannounced. The first time the welfare authorities were called on us, it was alleged social/emotional neglect because of difficult child 3's language delay. At the time he had not been properly seen or assessed although he had been on waiting lists for months. I was castigated by the authorities for not making enough fuss about the delays. It really did feel like guilty until proved innocent, and even then we''' consider you guilty. BUT - their involvement suddenly opened up the doors and rapidly shrunk the waiting list. difficult child 3 had fallen off the waiting list, it turned out, and we would have been waiting indefinitely. CPS involvement meant difficult child 3 got assessed within a month. From there he had his hearing checked out, and we were given another referral to a multidisciplinary clinic which eventually made the autism diagnosis. So what had at first seemed like unmitigated gall on the part of someone who should have not added to my already huge load - turned out to be a favour. As I said, the next time was related to the truant officer system at the school, and came about due to difficult child 3's long absences form school that year. I had medical certificates to cover all the absences, but this wasn't good enough any more. It all turned out to be very useful, however, in the documentation we needed to show just how serious the problems were for difficult child 3. So again, it turned out to be a favour for us even though at the time it felt either like fiddling while Rome burned, or vexatious, or simply a flamin' nuisance when I already had enough on my plate. I also found that the best way to resolve any concerns, is to open the door wide and say, "Look for yourselves. And here is the paperwork. Yo can see it is all in order. I strongly fought any instinctive desire to choke the living daylights out of the person on the doorstep - that way, I would be behaving like the abusive neighbour with the iron bar. You have a huge load on your shoulders right now. And of course, that is when nature seems to dump even more on us. But whatever you handle now, doesn't have to be dealt with later. it also makes you stronger to deal with it and come out the other side. From here - I'd be calling CPS, explain that you were taken by surprise after yet another night of no sleep, and you suspect this to be a vexatious claim which right now you could well do without, but you acknowledge that C PS have to do their job and assure themselves tat you're doing everything you can. I would also ask if there is any way they can help you get services you otherwise are having to mortgage your house for. But get proactive. call them, before they come back with a warrant and the cops to enforce it. And if it turns out to be due to someone just trying to cause you trouble, then "bring it on!" because the sooner it gets investigated and found to be groundless, the sooner the litigant's name is mud in CPS eyes. CPS could be your unexpected allies in this. Marg [/QUOTE]
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