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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 590248" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>WG, this isn't about sex. You are thrown by the topic because you have kept that side of your life private from him. That is totally your choice and is fine. I am a bit more on the Janet side of things esp as a lot of times my skin will actually break out in sores if I have anything touching it. Even sitting or laying down or standing can produce sores on whatever parts are touching anything. But I wasn't that modest before this happened. </p><p></p><p>This is FAR FAR FAR more about your son wanting to control you and your life and home. The comments about you drinking too much or whatever are him trying to make you do what he wants. He thinks he can get you to not kick him out or expect him to stop using if he gets you accustomed to him controlling your life. Next time he says you have had enough to drink, tell him you haven't by at least 10, and when you start stripping down to your birthday suit on top of a table in a bar full of 20 somethings, THEN he can tell you when to stop drinking, to stop having sex, to stop or start doing ANYTHING in the home that you pay for and he enjoys. And if your behavior is so unacceptable to him then he is FREE to go and pay his own way through the world and you will box his stuff up for him to pick up in a week or so. </p><p></p><p>I would also tell him to stop and think before he chastises you for ANYTHING because you are still his mother and you are still paying the bills to put food in his mouth and provide his home. If he wants that to continue then he had better be respectful.</p><p></p><p>Sex and alcohol consumption have as much to do with what is going on as tattoos have anything to do with cross eyed lemurs. Your son is attempting to control you, your fiance, and your home/wallet and he is choosing this topic because he KNOWS it will make you feel bad because you have wanted to keep this side of you private from him.</p><p></p><p>He is NOT scarred by any stretch of the imagination. He knows what sex is. He knows people who have long term relationships have sex. </p><p></p><p>I do remember actually rolling off the bed laughing hysterically at my brother when he was fifteen. He had been snooping in my parents' room and came and told me that he thought they had sex the night before. He was HORRIFIED and thought we should have a talk with them because they were 'too old' to do that. The only thing funnier than the idea of telling our parents they couldn't have sex was the look on my bro's face when I told him that if he did got Occupational Therapist (OT) hem then I would tell them that bro had already had sex and gave all the details that he told me as he tried to pressure me to have sex with one of his friends. I truly ended up on the floor iwth my cat in my face wondering what kind of fit I was having because I just could NOT stop laughing at his stupidity. </p><p></p><p>Then I totally wrecked my bro's mind. I asked my bro what he thought Gpa and Gma were doing when they made *those* noises when we were on vacation or they were visiting? </p><p></p><p> He isn't scarred. I would be laughing my head off if one of my kids tried that. Then I would be discussing that he needed to have a care in how he communicated to me as he is living under my roof on my dime and he needs me and I am NOT obligated to do anything for him.</p><p></p><p>I would NOT address the topic, just that he needs to have a care in how he addresses you. </p><p></p><p>Don't you DARE feel bad that he heard you. He could have turned on the tv or music or left the home or done any of 1000 things but instead he listened to hear what you were doing.</p><p></p><p>He does have giant cajones. I think my mother would have knocked me out if I had the gall to comment on her private life in the way your son did. We joke about it, and about my idiotic brother who loves loves loves to try to shock her with details about his sex life and is again and again shocked and horrified to think that she and my father have a private life. I look at it as the promise that husband and I will still be in love and wanting to express it when we are my folks' ages.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 590248, member: 1233"] WG, this isn't about sex. You are thrown by the topic because you have kept that side of your life private from him. That is totally your choice and is fine. I am a bit more on the Janet side of things esp as a lot of times my skin will actually break out in sores if I have anything touching it. Even sitting or laying down or standing can produce sores on whatever parts are touching anything. But I wasn't that modest before this happened. This is FAR FAR FAR more about your son wanting to control you and your life and home. The comments about you drinking too much or whatever are him trying to make you do what he wants. He thinks he can get you to not kick him out or expect him to stop using if he gets you accustomed to him controlling your life. Next time he says you have had enough to drink, tell him you haven't by at least 10, and when you start stripping down to your birthday suit on top of a table in a bar full of 20 somethings, THEN he can tell you when to stop drinking, to stop having sex, to stop or start doing ANYTHING in the home that you pay for and he enjoys. And if your behavior is so unacceptable to him then he is FREE to go and pay his own way through the world and you will box his stuff up for him to pick up in a week or so. I would also tell him to stop and think before he chastises you for ANYTHING because you are still his mother and you are still paying the bills to put food in his mouth and provide his home. If he wants that to continue then he had better be respectful. Sex and alcohol consumption have as much to do with what is going on as tattoos have anything to do with cross eyed lemurs. Your son is attempting to control you, your fiance, and your home/wallet and he is choosing this topic because he KNOWS it will make you feel bad because you have wanted to keep this side of you private from him. He is NOT scarred by any stretch of the imagination. He knows what sex is. He knows people who have long term relationships have sex. I do remember actually rolling off the bed laughing hysterically at my brother when he was fifteen. He had been snooping in my parents' room and came and told me that he thought they had sex the night before. He was HORRIFIED and thought we should have a talk with them because they were 'too old' to do that. The only thing funnier than the idea of telling our parents they couldn't have sex was the look on my bro's face when I told him that if he did got Occupational Therapist (OT) hem then I would tell them that bro had already had sex and gave all the details that he told me as he tried to pressure me to have sex with one of his friends. I truly ended up on the floor iwth my cat in my face wondering what kind of fit I was having because I just could NOT stop laughing at his stupidity. Then I totally wrecked my bro's mind. I asked my bro what he thought Gpa and Gma were doing when they made *those* noises when we were on vacation or they were visiting? He isn't scarred. I would be laughing my head off if one of my kids tried that. Then I would be discussing that he needed to have a care in how he communicated to me as he is living under my roof on my dime and he needs me and I am NOT obligated to do anything for him. I would NOT address the topic, just that he needs to have a care in how he addresses you. Don't you DARE feel bad that he heard you. He could have turned on the tv or music or left the home or done any of 1000 things but instead he listened to hear what you were doing. He does have giant cajones. I think my mother would have knocked me out if I had the gall to comment on her private life in the way your son did. We joke about it, and about my idiotic brother who loves loves loves to try to shock her with details about his sex life and is again and again shocked and horrified to think that she and my father have a private life. I look at it as the promise that husband and I will still be in love and wanting to express it when we are my folks' ages. [/QUOTE]
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