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Crisis looming
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 420125" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sending you lots and lots of hugs. It must be really hard to be so far away with the feeling that a crisis is going to hit soon. Esp with your child. I was 800 miles away when my parents called to tell me my bro was in jail on felony charges and was an alcoholic and I know how hard that was. I wanted to be there to help my parents and take some of the burden off my mom. Two weeks later to get a call from bro, from jail for more charges, it was even harder. </p><p> </p><p>I know it must be 1000 times worse because it is your child.</p><p> </p><p>Keep the serenity prayer in mind, find an alanon meeting where you are, even if you travel. There are meetings all over and also online for those who cannot get to meetings. Reach out for help and support from that community also (or narcanon which may be a better fit though it may depend on the individual meeting). Encourage wife to do this also.</p><p> </p><p>I HATE that feeling that a crisis is coming. Be extra gentle and nice to yourself at this time. It is incredibly stressful and painful and it won't be good for anyone if you get too upset and have health problems because it. </p><p> </p><p>I would start telling these people that you don't want to know and that difficult child knows that if she wants to go to treatment that she only has to call you. Otherwise you have no control over her actions and do not want to hear about them as nothing you do will change them. they may have a hard time iwth that, esp as many who would call a parent to say their kid is in serious, life threatening harm's way just because they get some kind of rush or good feeling from doing it. You know, the "I have told them how hard/bad things are for her and they must forever be grateful because I have greatly helped their child" types. In reality they are just adding to your misery. In the case of parents with an addicted child who is in such bad shape but unwilling to truly become clean and sober, ignorance truly is bliss - at least in my opinion.</p><p> </p><p>More hugs and support. difficult child knows if she really means it then youwill help her get into a program. ALL of the calls from "well meaning people" are most likely designed to both soften you up so that you will give her something when she calls you with a "crisis" but doesn't want to go to rehab.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 420125, member: 1233"] Sending you lots and lots of hugs. It must be really hard to be so far away with the feeling that a crisis is going to hit soon. Esp with your child. I was 800 miles away when my parents called to tell me my bro was in jail on felony charges and was an alcoholic and I know how hard that was. I wanted to be there to help my parents and take some of the burden off my mom. Two weeks later to get a call from bro, from jail for more charges, it was even harder. I know it must be 1000 times worse because it is your child. Keep the serenity prayer in mind, find an alanon meeting where you are, even if you travel. There are meetings all over and also online for those who cannot get to meetings. Reach out for help and support from that community also (or narcanon which may be a better fit though it may depend on the individual meeting). Encourage wife to do this also. I HATE that feeling that a crisis is coming. Be extra gentle and nice to yourself at this time. It is incredibly stressful and painful and it won't be good for anyone if you get too upset and have health problems because it. I would start telling these people that you don't want to know and that difficult child knows that if she wants to go to treatment that she only has to call you. Otherwise you have no control over her actions and do not want to hear about them as nothing you do will change them. they may have a hard time iwth that, esp as many who would call a parent to say their kid is in serious, life threatening harm's way just because they get some kind of rush or good feeling from doing it. You know, the "I have told them how hard/bad things are for her and they must forever be grateful because I have greatly helped their child" types. In reality they are just adding to your misery. In the case of parents with an addicted child who is in such bad shape but unwilling to truly become clean and sober, ignorance truly is bliss - at least in my opinion. More hugs and support. difficult child knows if she really means it then youwill help her get into a program. ALL of the calls from "well meaning people" are most likely designed to both soften you up so that you will give her something when she calls you with a "crisis" but doesn't want to go to rehab. [/QUOTE]
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