Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Crushed
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 741061" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Your situation really pushes my buttons because all hell broke lose when my mother got ill. I took care of her and my sister wanted no part of it. And she blamed me for everything. She would not talk to my mother nor did she see her for the year as she died. She felt like she was victimized by me. And I was TERRIFIED of her. She is an attorney.</p><p></p><p>All hell broke lose in M's family too as his parents became very ill and needed care decisions to be made, and then there is the HOUSE. </p><p></p><p>These situations press buttons for everybody. Maybe one family in 20 gets through this intact. </p><p></p><p>I agree with RN that graciousness would be optimal. After all your daughter is taking responsibility. But I think daughter could find it in herself to be transparent and to keep you informed. But it sounds like this is not the way things are not handled openly in the family. That is not your daughter's fault and responsibility alone. It sounds like your mother started the dynamic and maybe inherited it too.</p><p></p><p>You have choices to make. You could take responsibility now for the whole thing. One hundred percent. Tell the truth to yourself how you feel. When you understand your own part, ask your daughter for forgiveness. Tell her about your gratitude. Find understanding and love in your heart for your mother. Let go of control. And guilt. I think that is what RN is telling you. It is very very hard. But what are your options? </p><p></p><p>If there are assets involved and you think that might be THE ISSUE it is another ballgame. </p><p></p><p>I am very sorry. I know how hard it is. I wish I could go back and follow my advice. I would have bent over backwards to show kindness to my mother and to my sister going back my whole life. If I could do it now, I would.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 741061, member: 18958"] Your situation really pushes my buttons because all hell broke lose when my mother got ill. I took care of her and my sister wanted no part of it. And she blamed me for everything. She would not talk to my mother nor did she see her for the year as she died. She felt like she was victimized by me. And I was TERRIFIED of her. She is an attorney. All hell broke lose in M's family too as his parents became very ill and needed care decisions to be made, and then there is the HOUSE. These situations press buttons for everybody. Maybe one family in 20 gets through this intact. I agree with RN that graciousness would be optimal. After all your daughter is taking responsibility. But I think daughter could find it in herself to be transparent and to keep you informed. But it sounds like this is not the way things are not handled openly in the family. That is not your daughter's fault and responsibility alone. It sounds like your mother started the dynamic and maybe inherited it too. You have choices to make. You could take responsibility now for the whole thing. One hundred percent. Tell the truth to yourself how you feel. When you understand your own part, ask your daughter for forgiveness. Tell her about your gratitude. Find understanding and love in your heart for your mother. Let go of control. And guilt. I think that is what RN is telling you. It is very very hard. But what are your options? If there are assets involved and you think that might be THE ISSUE it is another ballgame. I am very sorry. I know how hard it is. I wish I could go back and follow my advice. I would have bent over backwards to show kindness to my mother and to my sister going back my whole life. If I could do it now, I would. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Crushed
Top