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General Parenting
cursed at, at the pool
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 164094" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Soap would these days probably be classed as assault. I find humour works best - after all, they're aiming for the shock factor, the horrified, angry reaction. Instead, I am careful to NOT show if I'm angry, I aim for amused condescension along the lines of, "My my, that's a big word for a little boy. Now you need to explain to me what it means..."</p><p></p><p>Often they have no idea exactly what they have said, and can be horrified when they find out. Again, I also ignore if it's during a tantrum or rage because it's not worth the hassle. That doesn't mean I entirely let it go - I make sure to remind him of it at a later time when he is happy and calm. For example, difficult child 3 was swearing at me one night and saying, "I hate you" which at the time I ignored and just carried on getting dinner, whistling.</p><p></p><p>Next morning when I was saying goodbye to difficult child 3 at the school gate I said as I always do, "I love you, son," and he replied with, "I love you, Mum."</p><p>THAT'S when I reminded him - "that's not what you said last night."</p><p></p><p>He dropped his head and said, "I didn't mean it, I was angry."</p><p></p><p>So I replied (calmly, again,) "It's very difficult to take away words once they have been said. It's much better to have not said them, isn't it? Let's have a fresh start to the day."</p><p></p><p>No punishment could have been as effective as that conversation. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 164094, member: 1991"] Soap would these days probably be classed as assault. I find humour works best - after all, they're aiming for the shock factor, the horrified, angry reaction. Instead, I am careful to NOT show if I'm angry, I aim for amused condescension along the lines of, "My my, that's a big word for a little boy. Now you need to explain to me what it means..." Often they have no idea exactly what they have said, and can be horrified when they find out. Again, I also ignore if it's during a tantrum or rage because it's not worth the hassle. That doesn't mean I entirely let it go - I make sure to remind him of it at a later time when he is happy and calm. For example, difficult child 3 was swearing at me one night and saying, "I hate you" which at the time I ignored and just carried on getting dinner, whistling. Next morning when I was saying goodbye to difficult child 3 at the school gate I said as I always do, "I love you, son," and he replied with, "I love you, Mum." THAT'S when I reminded him - "that's not what you said last night." He dropped his head and said, "I didn't mean it, I was angry." So I replied (calmly, again,) "It's very difficult to take away words once they have been said. It's much better to have not said them, isn't it? Let's have a fresh start to the day." No punishment could have been as effective as that conversation. Marg [/QUOTE]
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