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Custody - should I be worried at all?
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 32934" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Ugh.</p><p></p><p>Well it's a good thing I asked. It looks like I better get it in gear. It doesn't ever pay to bury nagging doubts when it comes to difficult children, does it?</p><p></p><p>OK, I am doing some of this stuff already. History from 1994 to present is documented in detail. School records of grandbaby being preserved. </p><p></p><p>To do: keep records on visitations and schedule appointment with a family law lawyer soon. The lady we used two years ago was very good. </p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, I've been brushing up again. Here are the "levels" in order from most rights to least with respect to grandparents raising grandchildren, a situation that is far more common today than at any time in history. Disclaimer: this is just my understanding of the law in Illinois and is subject to correction by people who know what they're talking about.</p><p></p><p>1. Full adoption. All parental rights are vested in adoptive parents. Cannot be revoked except in cases of abuse or neglect such as would terminate a natural parent's rights.</p><p></p><p>2. Guardianship of person and estate (what we have). Guardians make all life decisions such as schooling, religion, social activities, medical treatments, etc. and are obligated to provide all necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter up to age 18 (guardianship of the person); exercise control over assets, earnings, and any money received and manage it to the ward's benefit up to age 18 (guardianship of the estate). Can be revoked but only by petitioning the court and showing cause.</p><p></p><p>3. Guardianship of person but not estate, or vice/versa. Can be revoked by petitioning the court and showing cause.</p><p></p><p>4. Full custody. Depending on how the court rules, the parent may exercise some authority in life decisions and have rights to visitation. The particulars are always open to being changed on petition to the court.</p><p></p><p>5. Joint custody. Decisions and physical custody of the child are shared, either by all living together or by alternating.</p><p></p><p>6. Court-ordered visitation. This might be ordered if the parents have tried to withhold access for some reason. Courts tend to favor the parents over the grandparents unless the parents are pretty flagrantly in the wrong.</p><p></p><p>7. And lastly, nada, zip, nothing. The parents can and often do use the threat of denying access to the child(ren) to extort money and favors, and there is nothing the grandparent can do about it legally.</p><p></p><p>So the difference between adoption and guardianship is that revocation of guardianship has to meet a lower standard than termination of adoptive parent's rights. In other words, if I understand this correctly, adoptive rights cannot be revoked even in the child's "best interest" so long as the child is not actually being harmed, whereas the "best interest" criterion would apply to guardianship. It is possible, as Kris said, that some misguided judge could decide that our grandbaby needs to be "re-"unified (even though they never were on their own together in the first place) with difficult child no matter how stupid an idea it is. </p><p></p><p>I think our position is pretty safe, with the documentation of difficult child's history, and becomes safer with each passing year. But I've been jolted out of complacency (thanks, you all!) and will be keeping meticulous records visitation records (detailing broken promises, no-shows, tardies, etc.) and seriously considering the adoption route, though that could get very messy and costly.</p><p></p><p>As for this "prophetic" case worker, I'm not sure what to do about her. I don't want to call attention to that remark by making a stir; and difficult child has been known to misremember and/or dramatize before. I think I'll wait and see if there is a pattern of this kind of talk.</p><p></p><p>Again, thanks for the words of wisdom -- they are very much appreciated! :salute:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 32934, member: 3485"] Ugh. Well it's a good thing I asked. It looks like I better get it in gear. It doesn't ever pay to bury nagging doubts when it comes to difficult children, does it? OK, I am doing some of this stuff already. History from 1994 to present is documented in detail. School records of grandbaby being preserved. To do: keep records on visitations and schedule appointment with a family law lawyer soon. The lady we used two years ago was very good. Meanwhile, I've been brushing up again. Here are the "levels" in order from most rights to least with respect to grandparents raising grandchildren, a situation that is far more common today than at any time in history. Disclaimer: this is just my understanding of the law in Illinois and is subject to correction by people who know what they're talking about. 1. Full adoption. All parental rights are vested in adoptive parents. Cannot be revoked except in cases of abuse or neglect such as would terminate a natural parent's rights. 2. Guardianship of person and estate (what we have). Guardians make all life decisions such as schooling, religion, social activities, medical treatments, etc. and are obligated to provide all necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter up to age 18 (guardianship of the person); exercise control over assets, earnings, and any money received and manage it to the ward's benefit up to age 18 (guardianship of the estate). Can be revoked but only by petitioning the court and showing cause. 3. Guardianship of person but not estate, or vice/versa. Can be revoked by petitioning the court and showing cause. 4. Full custody. Depending on how the court rules, the parent may exercise some authority in life decisions and have rights to visitation. The particulars are always open to being changed on petition to the court. 5. Joint custody. Decisions and physical custody of the child are shared, either by all living together or by alternating. 6. Court-ordered visitation. This might be ordered if the parents have tried to withhold access for some reason. Courts tend to favor the parents over the grandparents unless the parents are pretty flagrantly in the wrong. 7. And lastly, nada, zip, nothing. The parents can and often do use the threat of denying access to the child(ren) to extort money and favors, and there is nothing the grandparent can do about it legally. So the difference between adoption and guardianship is that revocation of guardianship has to meet a lower standard than termination of adoptive parent's rights. In other words, if I understand this correctly, adoptive rights cannot be revoked even in the child's "best interest" so long as the child is not actually being harmed, whereas the "best interest" criterion would apply to guardianship. It is possible, as Kris said, that some misguided judge could decide that our grandbaby needs to be "re-"unified (even though they never were on their own together in the first place) with difficult child no matter how stupid an idea it is. I think our position is pretty safe, with the documentation of difficult child's history, and becomes safer with each passing year. But I've been jolted out of complacency (thanks, you all!) and will be keeping meticulous records visitation records (detailing broken promises, no-shows, tardies, etc.) and seriously considering the adoption route, though that could get very messy and costly. As for this "prophetic" case worker, I'm not sure what to do about her. I don't want to call attention to that remark by making a stir; and difficult child has been known to misremember and/or dramatize before. I think I'll wait and see if there is a pattern of this kind of talk. Again, thanks for the words of wisdom -- they are very much appreciated! [img]:salute:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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