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Daily schedule/credit system/rules
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 351230" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is quite a list of items to work on. It may seem overwhelming at first, depends on your child. A system like that would make perfect sense to my daughter, but Wiz would be overwhelmed. Not sure how thank you would react. Make sure it makes sense to your husband. If you make your list on posterboards to hang up and also make a set of charts with a large size font and a space to write an amount in, you can put them in sheet protectors and use overhead projector markers on them. If you use alcohol in a spray bottle you might be able to use dry erase markers on them. They should wipe off but if they don't, or someone uses a sharpie, you can use alcohol to wipe them off.</p><p></p><p>But overhead projector markers wipe off with water. Staples has them. (My mom was a univ prof and used a LOT of overheads before powerpoint was invented. She brought these methods home with her.)</p><p></p><p>There is one thing to watch out for. Your son may decide he won't do ANYTHING unless you pay him. There was a boy with Asperger's in Ireland who wrote a book when he was 9 (it was published when he was 12). He described how his mother and therapists used the credit system. It didn't follow into his teen years where he refused to do anything, even get out of bed, if he wasn't paid for it.</p><p></p><p>This was a problem that reared it's ugly head with any credit/coin/token system we tried with Wiz. He would decide he should be paid for more things, and more and more things. And that he should be paying less for rewards or that his rewards should be bigger and bigger. If we offered a $3 book, he would want a $5 book, then 2, then 3 or 4 of them. This increase could happen in as little as 6 weeks. Going from one book worth $3 to 4 books worth $5 each happened in less than 9 weeks. He was 10. By the time he hit age 12 no reward under $15 or $20 motivated him to even brush his teeth. Quite literally he once said he would brush his teeth once a day for a week if we gave him $20 per week. He mean school week, not calendar week. He was incensed when I laughed. It was just ridiculous that I would pay him $4 per day to brush his teeth. </p><p></p><p> It was at that time he realized his teeth were not straight. A girl noticed. He then demanded braces. He still refused to brush, though his teeth were so yellow it was amazing mold didn't grow on them. Literally. Braces were not medically necessary so I refused to pay for them because he still refused to brush.</p><p></p><p>Be aware that he may demand bigger and bigger rewards for the same work, and that he may demand more and more payment. Not sure how to prevent it, but be aware it may happen.</p><p></p><p>Instead of "No arguing" maybe "We don't argue." It will keep YOU from arguing with him also. You can also use the word "Justification" when he starts to go into why you should or should not have him do something, or let him do something, or whatever. When my difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital it was one of the useful things we learned. After that time when he started in on us we would just say "arguing" or "justifying" and end the conversation. </p><p></p><p>We did NOT tell him "No arguing". We just said "arguing" and if we were on a point system we removed points. with-o telling him. He knew when he was arguing and that it would cost him points. We just mentally made a note that it would cost him points and wrote them on the daily chart later. We REFUSED to even discuss it when we tallied points for the day. </p><p></p><p>As for the wetting/messing, is he smearing on purpose because he is mad? They make those clorox disinfecting wipes. I would make sure he had them to use and then make him clean anything he smeared on. You can stand and supervise, maybe - MAYBE- help him start. But he is old enough to know not to smear his waste and old enough to not do it. I think it is vastly different than wetting (unless he goes and pees on things when he is angry) and he should experience some displeasure when he does this. The displeasure comes from cleaning. It is simply disgusting. Is he wetting the bed at night, or wetting the floor when he is mad? It is different to have encopresis and not know when you poop than it is to smear poop on things because you are mad, or even to poop in your pants because you are mad. Making sure he has enough fiber in his diet I am sure you are doing. Maybe giving credit for drinking miralax or a fiber supplement, or just using benefiber and not telling him might help. One member says her son told her the miralax pooped for him, he couldn't hold it. He had problems that stemmed from constipation. But if your son is pooping on things because he is mad that just seems different.</p><p></p><p>Though the casein allergy could contribute to encopresis if he is not avoiding casein. Is he also allergic to gluten? Many find that helpful, though you have probably tried it.</p><p></p><p>If the wipes get too expensive, maybe he should be using his credits to help pay for them. Or you could use paper towels and a mild bleach and soap solution or ammonia and soap solution (NOT bleach and ammonia in the same solution!!<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /> It makes toxic vapors.) to clean. Use a baby wipe container to hold paper towels folded in half and pour the solution in on top of them to make your own wipes. </p><p></p><p>Or use baby wipes. They are made to remove feces.</p><p></p><p>These are just thoughts. I hope some are helpful. Please ignore/discard those that are not - it will not offend or bother me. Promise!<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 351230, member: 1233"] This is quite a list of items to work on. It may seem overwhelming at first, depends on your child. A system like that would make perfect sense to my daughter, but Wiz would be overwhelmed. Not sure how thank you would react. Make sure it makes sense to your husband. If you make your list on posterboards to hang up and also make a set of charts with a large size font and a space to write an amount in, you can put them in sheet protectors and use overhead projector markers on them. If you use alcohol in a spray bottle you might be able to use dry erase markers on them. They should wipe off but if they don't, or someone uses a sharpie, you can use alcohol to wipe them off. But overhead projector markers wipe off with water. Staples has them. (My mom was a univ prof and used a LOT of overheads before powerpoint was invented. She brought these methods home with her.) There is one thing to watch out for. Your son may decide he won't do ANYTHING unless you pay him. There was a boy with Asperger's in Ireland who wrote a book when he was 9 (it was published when he was 12). He described how his mother and therapists used the credit system. It didn't follow into his teen years where he refused to do anything, even get out of bed, if he wasn't paid for it. This was a problem that reared it's ugly head with any credit/coin/token system we tried with Wiz. He would decide he should be paid for more things, and more and more things. And that he should be paying less for rewards or that his rewards should be bigger and bigger. If we offered a $3 book, he would want a $5 book, then 2, then 3 or 4 of them. This increase could happen in as little as 6 weeks. Going from one book worth $3 to 4 books worth $5 each happened in less than 9 weeks. He was 10. By the time he hit age 12 no reward under $15 or $20 motivated him to even brush his teeth. Quite literally he once said he would brush his teeth once a day for a week if we gave him $20 per week. He mean school week, not calendar week. He was incensed when I laughed. It was just ridiculous that I would pay him $4 per day to brush his teeth. It was at that time he realized his teeth were not straight. A girl noticed. He then demanded braces. He still refused to brush, though his teeth were so yellow it was amazing mold didn't grow on them. Literally. Braces were not medically necessary so I refused to pay for them because he still refused to brush. Be aware that he may demand bigger and bigger rewards for the same work, and that he may demand more and more payment. Not sure how to prevent it, but be aware it may happen. Instead of "No arguing" maybe "We don't argue." It will keep YOU from arguing with him also. You can also use the word "Justification" when he starts to go into why you should or should not have him do something, or let him do something, or whatever. When my difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital it was one of the useful things we learned. After that time when he started in on us we would just say "arguing" or "justifying" and end the conversation. We did NOT tell him "No arguing". We just said "arguing" and if we were on a point system we removed points. with-o telling him. He knew when he was arguing and that it would cost him points. We just mentally made a note that it would cost him points and wrote them on the daily chart later. We REFUSED to even discuss it when we tallied points for the day. As for the wetting/messing, is he smearing on purpose because he is mad? They make those clorox disinfecting wipes. I would make sure he had them to use and then make him clean anything he smeared on. You can stand and supervise, maybe - MAYBE- help him start. But he is old enough to know not to smear his waste and old enough to not do it. I think it is vastly different than wetting (unless he goes and pees on things when he is angry) and he should experience some displeasure when he does this. The displeasure comes from cleaning. It is simply disgusting. Is he wetting the bed at night, or wetting the floor when he is mad? It is different to have encopresis and not know when you poop than it is to smear poop on things because you are mad, or even to poop in your pants because you are mad. Making sure he has enough fiber in his diet I am sure you are doing. Maybe giving credit for drinking miralax or a fiber supplement, or just using benefiber and not telling him might help. One member says her son told her the miralax pooped for him, he couldn't hold it. He had problems that stemmed from constipation. But if your son is pooping on things because he is mad that just seems different. Though the casein allergy could contribute to encopresis if he is not avoiding casein. Is he also allergic to gluten? Many find that helpful, though you have probably tried it. If the wipes get too expensive, maybe he should be using his credits to help pay for them. Or you could use paper towels and a mild bleach and soap solution or ammonia and soap solution (NOT bleach and ammonia in the same solution!!:sick: It makes toxic vapors.) to clean. Use a baby wipe container to hold paper towels folded in half and pour the solution in on top of them to make your own wipes. Or use baby wipes. They are made to remove feces. These are just thoughts. I hope some are helpful. Please ignore/discard those that are not - it will not offend or bother me. Promise!:winking: [/QUOTE]
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