Hi.. sorry this post is kind of rambly. I just wanted to share what my partner and I have been working on for difficult child. I would love to talk to other parents who are using a credit system like what is used in Transforming the Difficult Child. difficult child wants to control everything, he is defiant, argumentative and basically just wants his way and thinks he is entitled no matter what. Some of this I have been using with difficult child currently, the credit system, for the most part, will be instituted after the move. Starting fresh. This is what we've got so far.. still working on it. I know there are other things he can / does do during the day.. It's hard to look for the little things when it's big things all day long. Using a bit of a few different things. I read about The Dilley family rules (they have sextuplets..sometimes difficult child feels like six lol) and they're very simple, seeing as there are only three of them, so we've been using them for a while. They are Be Respectful, Be Gentle, and Be Responsible. Then we have the behavior chart from the last behavior therapist we had. (I loved her!) On that is listed. These are the "big" issues: Helping Others (Be Respectful/Responsible) Cleaning Room (Be Responsible) Fun with Sister (Be Gentle) Nice language (Be Respectful) Hygiene (Be Responsible) Talking with mom (Be Respectful) These are the "no" behaviors, which we've reworded so they aren't "not otherwise specified" as difficult child loses it if he even thinks he's going to hear it. These all pretty much fall under "Be Respectful". These are The House Rules No hitting/pushing/shoving (Keep hands and feet to self) No yelling/screaming (Use quiet voice) No threats (Speak nicely) No arguing (drawing a blank here lol) Be Respectful towards others things (no taking or using without permission) We are using Transforming the Difficult Child by Howard Glasser and the credit system. I also found a few videos by a woman on youtube using sort of the same system and I used her example as well. Basically difficult child will earn credits he can then later spend on anything from sodas, snacks, easy child or tv time, or he can save up for big rewards like a theme park, etc. My boyfriend and I have come up with this much so far.. I'm still not sure about the amount of credits for each one. I know I want easy child time to be expensive, because I don't want difficult child earning so much that's he's got enough to spend hours on the easy child at a time. We want him off the easy child as much as possible. We're thinking one hour a day weekdays, two hours on weekends, *if* he has the credits for it. I've also laid out his day ala Flylady and the control journal, so it's more organized for him and he can see how his day is laid out MORNING ROUTINE Friendly, responsible and respectful toward family and pets 100 SHOWER (wash with soap, wash hair) Shower 100 Shower without a reminder 25 Shower without a fuss 25 Hang up towel 25 Dirty clothes in hamper 50 Brush hair 50 Brush teeth 50 Brush teeth without a fuss 50 PUT ON CLEAN CLOTHES (pants, shirt, undies, socks) Dress to shoes without a fuss 75 Without a reminder 25 MORNING RESPONSIBILITIES (Chores.. it's a trigger word.. so using responsibilities instead) Bathroom floor clean 50 Toilet clean (swished and flushed) 50 Sink and counter wiped down 50 Bathroom done without a reminder 50 Make Bed 75 Make bed without a fuss 25 Make bed without a reminder 50 SCHOOL DAY (he earns a % based on his behavior, and that % we convert into credits) 100% - 100 90% - 75 80% - 50 70% - 25 Friendly, responsible and respectful toward family and pets (after school) 100 AFTER SCHOOL RESPONSIBILITIES Hang up coat 50 (ok my boyfriend laughed at me for this one, because its *Cali*) Hang up backpack 50 Shoes off at front door 50 Score sheet signed 50 Eat snack at dining table 50 Clean up table and counter (+ dishes in dishwasher) 75 (this may be worth more) Books on your desk (not on floor) 25 HOMEWORK Do homework without fussing 100 DINNER Eat what is offered for dinner 100 (this, too, may be worth more in the beginning as it's such a huge issue now.) Help clean up table 75 BEDTIME ROUTINE Clean up for bed 75 Dirty clothes in hamper 50 put pajamas on 50 Brush teeth 50 Brush teeth without a fuss 25 Brush teeth without a reminder 50 Pick out tomorrow's clothes to shoes 75 In bed at bedtime (9:30/10pm) 75 In bed at bedtime without a fuss 25 The troubling behaviors such as the wetting and smearing I'm not sure how to address. He does it when told no or just angered in some way. The videos suggested taking credits away as a fee for cleaning up messes, but the book says do not take them away. He's not capable of cleaning up after himself for these behaviors. Someone suggested rubber or plastic mats and washable carpets on his floor to cover carpeting, which I think is a marvelous idea. We can perhaps tape just above the baseboards and cover the entire floor with them. Much easier to wipe / scrub clean. So that may be our answer. Also want to add every day chores such as washing clothes, bedding and helping out with our weekly flylady duties. difficult child can clean up his hot spots, declutter. Debating an actual money allowance for above and beyond such as yard work. He also has the option to trade in his credits for a small amount of cash. 100 credits for a dollar, for example.. Still working that out. Anyone else go with a system like this? How did it work for you? Any suggestions on what I might add, or anything? Thank you!!