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<blockquote data-quote="sunxstone" data-source="post: 351317" data-attributes="member: 8297"><p>Susie</p><p></p><p>We are looking at the vinyl option, but we're going to be in an apartment for the next year, so it would just have to sit over the carpet. I'm thinking maybe double over the drop cloth and tape it down. My boyfriend found .. only way I know how to explain it.. saran wrap for carpets. lol Maybe put that down first, then tape the drop cloth over it. It will protect the carpet AND make it an easy clean up for all of us. Or a vinyl square with the plastic over it so he couldn't pull it up. We're considering both options. I'm just glad to have a possible solution to the effect atm if not the cause.I would love to go into this new apartment showing difficult child some trust to not do this behavior, but I just can't take the chance. His current room is *destroyed*. We took out the bed when he kept shoving food and poo underneath with toys, clothes, etc and urinating behind it. We have a loft bed with an open bottom with a small corner desk for him for Cali, so that takes care of that problem! (knock on wood!) Also removed the door about two or three weeks ago, he's got a blanket covering it. So we are *there*!</p><p></p><p>He does have a mattress on the floor at the moment. He will not leave anything on it, mattress protectors, sheets, nothing. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> He takes them off as soon as I put them on. I take the mattress out of his room once a week, wash it down, odoban it and let it sit in the sun til bedtime. </p><p></p><p>difficult child hoards food as well, I check every night before bed and every morning when he leaves for school in case he got up during the night. I never know he's learned the combination to the kitchen until I find something in his room. :/ </p><p></p><p>I'm doing a light version of "do to get" now. He must finish what I ask him to do before he gets easy child time after school. It's usually every day type stuff that he cut corners on to begin with - wash hair, pick up dirty clothes and put them *in* the hamper, not *next* to the hamper, put clothes in washer/dryer, scrape plate out and put it in the sink, etc. All difficult child wants is easy child time. He plays an online game and he obsesses over it. It's all he talks about! So I use that to get him to do what he needs to pretty quickly. easy child time starts at 5, if he's not finished he doesn't get that time back. He really doesn't ask for anything else besides fast food, music cd's or easy child games, those are his things. He could care less about clothes (he'd rather wear his school uniforms than casual clothes, and the uniforms are NOT moving with us! He won't need them!) and he has no idea about brand names or anything. Good to know what we are legally liable for in case he does pull that on us. He had soo much stuff, but he ruined or broke most of it. He took a baseball bat to one of his plastic toys the other day in the yard because he was "bored with it" and didn't want it anymore. :/ I've explained we can garage sale that kind of thing and he'd have money, but he said he didn't want to, he'd rather break it. </p><p></p><p>We used to get all our kids clothes from a resale shop and I'd get 2 or 3 bags full for less than $100 and it would last a couple seasons or even a year, but they carry mostly baby/toddler sizes, so don't go there much anymore. My ex mother in law sounds much like yours, but I think you got the rougher deal! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's very aggravating when they *see* this stuff but they don't *get* it. Ex mother in law would hand casein allergic difficult child a piece of candy and send him to me to check it and tell him if he could have it. Turn it over and see M I L K in big letters on the back. It's not that hard!! Big rage from difficult child, and I'm the bad guy.. yup.. been there! We lived with ex mother in law for 6 years, then moved just 2 miles away. 1500 miles distance CANNOT come fast enough!! Ex mother in law believes neither child gets enough to eat ever. Kids don't like what's served for dinner, they call Gramma and she brings them McDonalds or subway or whatever they want! </p><p></p><p>I heard that before, about "We are legally required to feed you. We don't have to make sure you like it." We offer healthy food, most times difficult child just chooses not to eat it, even if it's something he likesand Gramma rushes in to the rescue. :/ Why is difficult child gonna eat home made food if fast food is a phone call away? Distance and cooperation will help that. My boyfriends says "Watch him try that with my parents.. Their phones will mysteriously stop accepting calls." So that's good! </p><p></p><p>There is *awesome* stuff at Goodwill/thrift stores! I'm not worried about that. What do you suggest though, for difficult child who often goes through a pair of shoes in under a month? He tears them apart and pokes holes in the soles with pens, etc. Would you recommend he replace these himself with cash he earns? We'll buy two pairs of shoes per six months, and anything beyond those two pairs is on him?</p><p></p><p>And yeah, he's threatened to call CPS on us several times all ready for threatening him (This is a threat to difficult child: "If you do not get your dishes in the sink like I asked, you will not get your easy child time." "STOP THREATENING ME!!!") and for denying/neglecting him (not buying pop tarts. This is an ongoing thing.)</p><p></p><p>So.. fast food/going out to eat.. credits? Can we go out to eat as a family on us as a reward or is that messing with the system? It seems so complicated I just can't wrap my head around it all. I *know* this will work for him. I just gotta get it laid out in clear terms for *all* of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sunxstone, post: 351317, member: 8297"] Susie We are looking at the vinyl option, but we're going to be in an apartment for the next year, so it would just have to sit over the carpet. I'm thinking maybe double over the drop cloth and tape it down. My boyfriend found .. only way I know how to explain it.. saran wrap for carpets. lol Maybe put that down first, then tape the drop cloth over it. It will protect the carpet AND make it an easy clean up for all of us. Or a vinyl square with the plastic over it so he couldn't pull it up. We're considering both options. I'm just glad to have a possible solution to the effect atm if not the cause.I would love to go into this new apartment showing difficult child some trust to not do this behavior, but I just can't take the chance. His current room is *destroyed*. We took out the bed when he kept shoving food and poo underneath with toys, clothes, etc and urinating behind it. We have a loft bed with an open bottom with a small corner desk for him for Cali, so that takes care of that problem! (knock on wood!) Also removed the door about two or three weeks ago, he's got a blanket covering it. So we are *there*! He does have a mattress on the floor at the moment. He will not leave anything on it, mattress protectors, sheets, nothing. :( He takes them off as soon as I put them on. I take the mattress out of his room once a week, wash it down, odoban it and let it sit in the sun til bedtime. difficult child hoards food as well, I check every night before bed and every morning when he leaves for school in case he got up during the night. I never know he's learned the combination to the kitchen until I find something in his room. :/ I'm doing a light version of "do to get" now. He must finish what I ask him to do before he gets easy child time after school. It's usually every day type stuff that he cut corners on to begin with - wash hair, pick up dirty clothes and put them *in* the hamper, not *next* to the hamper, put clothes in washer/dryer, scrape plate out and put it in the sink, etc. All difficult child wants is easy child time. He plays an online game and he obsesses over it. It's all he talks about! So I use that to get him to do what he needs to pretty quickly. easy child time starts at 5, if he's not finished he doesn't get that time back. He really doesn't ask for anything else besides fast food, music cd's or easy child games, those are his things. He could care less about clothes (he'd rather wear his school uniforms than casual clothes, and the uniforms are NOT moving with us! He won't need them!) and he has no idea about brand names or anything. Good to know what we are legally liable for in case he does pull that on us. He had soo much stuff, but he ruined or broke most of it. He took a baseball bat to one of his plastic toys the other day in the yard because he was "bored with it" and didn't want it anymore. :/ I've explained we can garage sale that kind of thing and he'd have money, but he said he didn't want to, he'd rather break it. We used to get all our kids clothes from a resale shop and I'd get 2 or 3 bags full for less than $100 and it would last a couple seasons or even a year, but they carry mostly baby/toddler sizes, so don't go there much anymore. My ex mother in law sounds much like yours, but I think you got the rougher deal! :( I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's very aggravating when they *see* this stuff but they don't *get* it. Ex mother in law would hand casein allergic difficult child a piece of candy and send him to me to check it and tell him if he could have it. Turn it over and see M I L K in big letters on the back. It's not that hard!! Big rage from difficult child, and I'm the bad guy.. yup.. been there! We lived with ex mother in law for 6 years, then moved just 2 miles away. 1500 miles distance CANNOT come fast enough!! Ex mother in law believes neither child gets enough to eat ever. Kids don't like what's served for dinner, they call Gramma and she brings them McDonalds or subway or whatever they want! I heard that before, about "We are legally required to feed you. We don't have to make sure you like it." We offer healthy food, most times difficult child just chooses not to eat it, even if it's something he likesand Gramma rushes in to the rescue. :/ Why is difficult child gonna eat home made food if fast food is a phone call away? Distance and cooperation will help that. My boyfriends says "Watch him try that with my parents.. Their phones will mysteriously stop accepting calls." So that's good! There is *awesome* stuff at Goodwill/thrift stores! I'm not worried about that. What do you suggest though, for difficult child who often goes through a pair of shoes in under a month? He tears them apart and pokes holes in the soles with pens, etc. Would you recommend he replace these himself with cash he earns? We'll buy two pairs of shoes per six months, and anything beyond those two pairs is on him? And yeah, he's threatened to call CPS on us several times all ready for threatening him (This is a threat to difficult child: "If you do not get your dishes in the sink like I asked, you will not get your easy child time." "STOP THREATENING ME!!!") and for denying/neglecting him (not buying pop tarts. This is an ongoing thing.) So.. fast food/going out to eat.. credits? Can we go out to eat as a family on us as a reward or is that messing with the system? It seems so complicated I just can't wrap my head around it all. I *know* this will work for him. I just gotta get it laid out in clear terms for *all* of us. [/QUOTE]
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