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Daughter 24 stole from me
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<blockquote data-quote="Sister's Keeper" data-source="post: 684153" data-attributes="member: 20051"><p>I think also the other issue with Devastated is she doesn't have answers as to why.</p><p></p><p>I think that for a lot of us here, at least I know myself, are dealing with addicts. My sister is an addict. I know why she stole from me, she wanted to get high. Although it still made me very angry I can put it aside, I can say, "It's the drugs, she does this horrible $hit because of the drugs." For Devastated there is no reasoning, no impetus behind it. As far as she knows her daughter is not an addict, or owed money to dealers.</p><p></p><p>The other thing I think makes it easier, for at least me, is the detachment. Devastated wants to and is trying to maintain a close relationship with her child. She wants to see her, she wants her to be part of her life. I think it is very much harder to rebuild or repair a relationship when your trust has been so badly broken. With my sister I have spent, all total, maybe 2 hours with her in the last 4 years. I have purposely distanced myself emotionally and physically. I have put myself in a place where I can't be hurt by her again. </p><p></p><p>It is almost like a cheating spouse. How to you go on from here? Will things ever be the same? Will I ever be able to look at you and not immediately think of the hurt you have caused me? </p><p></p><p>Now my issue isn't with my child, but, I also think as parents (I'm just gathering this from group) that there is a certain amount of guilt. I think a lot of parents, in the beginning while they are still trying to wade through this, think "What did I do wrong that my child turned out like this?" </p><p></p><p>I think like any harmed relationship that counseling, both individual and together, will help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister's Keeper, post: 684153, member: 20051"] I think also the other issue with Devastated is she doesn't have answers as to why. I think that for a lot of us here, at least I know myself, are dealing with addicts. My sister is an addict. I know why she stole from me, she wanted to get high. Although it still made me very angry I can put it aside, I can say, "It's the drugs, she does this horrible $hit because of the drugs." For Devastated there is no reasoning, no impetus behind it. As far as she knows her daughter is not an addict, or owed money to dealers. The other thing I think makes it easier, for at least me, is the detachment. Devastated wants to and is trying to maintain a close relationship with her child. She wants to see her, she wants her to be part of her life. I think it is very much harder to rebuild or repair a relationship when your trust has been so badly broken. With my sister I have spent, all total, maybe 2 hours with her in the last 4 years. I have purposely distanced myself emotionally and physically. I have put myself in a place where I can't be hurt by her again. It is almost like a cheating spouse. How to you go on from here? Will things ever be the same? Will I ever be able to look at you and not immediately think of the hurt you have caused me? Now my issue isn't with my child, but, I also think as parents (I'm just gathering this from group) that there is a certain amount of guilt. I think a lot of parents, in the beginning while they are still trying to wade through this, think "What did I do wrong that my child turned out like this?" I think like any harmed relationship that counseling, both individual and together, will help. [/QUOTE]
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Daughter 24 stole from me
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