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Daughter being hateful advice please
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<blockquote data-quote="Marsha" data-source="post: 736780" data-attributes="member: 23252"><p>KARN (or Hurt Mom), I'm going to tell you the very same "truths" that I, too, need to hear, and hear often enough so that I remember and feel these MORE strongly than the love that I still have for my own 30-year-old daughter! </p><p> IF your daughter doesn't yet treat you with even the most basic respect that EVERY human being deserves, she likely won't - EVER. For she lacks ANY "real" empathy or understanding of you as a person. "You" exist ONLY to serve and to benefit her, and as her EXCUSE for "her" poorer judgements and decisions! What these sort of supposed-adults "claim" to be love for us, is NOT! And they're NOT willing to give up "their versions" of you for any REAL relationship, because it benefits "them" too much.</p><p> My daughter also treats me with rancid contempt, is quick to judge and to criticize and to RAGE at me. (Of course, she criticizes and puts down everyone else, as well.) According to her, I am the WORST "mother," also was NEVER "there for her,'" never wanted her to succeed or have a good life, etc, etc.! And the HORSE-CRAP goes on and on. It's as endless as her anger. In my daughter's case, it is ALL about "control" and "manipulation" - as it seems to be with yours!</p><p> Mine was WARNED by a professional of crossing the final line into Anti-Social Personality Disorder at age 19 - and she definitely crossed it! </p><p> Just this week she posted HER "version" of me needing to take (legal) pain medications for spinal-cord injuries from a car accident on Facebook, along with photos she took of me sleeping during an overnight at her house some awhile back. SHE dubbed it "passed out." When I complained to her, I got this response: I'M "entitled, as it affected/affects me. Her logic is flawed! See, I DOUBT she'd like ME advertising her several ABORTIONS, yet those affected ME. The last just a year ago because she was too "lazy" to get birth-control, and only MONTHS before again getting pregnant. (Had that baby.)</p><p> What got her out of my house (permanently) was PRISON after her third DUI by age 22 when someone was hurt. She's still on probation, by the way, as she rages HER "criticisms" in screamfests at me. </p><p> Won't EVEN go into details of her years from age 13 on, which included MORE counseling sessions (family and individual), doctors and psychiatrists than I WANT to remember. I had her arrested several times for beating on me, and juvenile officers and courts were involved for her skipping school for MONTHS of schoolyears and running away for DAYS (nearly every week, for years) on end! Put herself into situations, twice, to be raped, because she REFUSED to listen to ANY ONE. (I think I'm still traumatized from ALL the hell and hurt she put me through during all those years!) She had me arrested once, too, for "child abuse,' yet she was the one who harmed ME - not the other way around. (Though now I wish I HAD beat her!) </p><p> I finally cut her off for about 1-1/2 years when she was in prison for her continued emotional and mental abuse from even behind bars. While I still "yearned for," loved and missed my child (terribly!) - at least I had some "peace" during that time. We later began communicating again, and I had thought that my "saying enough" had heled us greatly! We seemed closer than ever! UNTIL the day she was released, that is! And it's been "PAYBACK," ever since. (How DARE I quit on her!) ... People used to tell me that she would be the death of me in some way or the other, and I now believe it! I ask for "nothing" from my daughter anymore, not to repay me a cent of the thousands her decisions have cost me (even my car,) to a moment of her time because she USES every moment to criticize and belittle me!</p><p> I am single, diverced for many years. She never "let" me have any relationships while we were both younger, and it seemed unfair, as she was SO NASTY to even my friends. I've lost other friends due to her behavior, and as I age others have died. I live in severe physical pain, and no longer have the energy or desire to do things I used to enjoy.</p><p> By putting my daughter "first" (I thought I was being a "GOOD mother") - I helped her to destroy me. DON'T make the same mistakes! </p><p> For people like our daughters, no matter HOW MUCH we love them, they do NOT change, WON'T change - and will only CONTINUE to 'USE" and to "TAKE!" Save YOURSELF!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marsha, post: 736780, member: 23252"] KARN (or Hurt Mom), I'm going to tell you the very same "truths" that I, too, need to hear, and hear often enough so that I remember and feel these MORE strongly than the love that I still have for my own 30-year-old daughter! IF your daughter doesn't yet treat you with even the most basic respect that EVERY human being deserves, she likely won't - EVER. For she lacks ANY "real" empathy or understanding of you as a person. "You" exist ONLY to serve and to benefit her, and as her EXCUSE for "her" poorer judgements and decisions! What these sort of supposed-adults "claim" to be love for us, is NOT! And they're NOT willing to give up "their versions" of you for any REAL relationship, because it benefits "them" too much. My daughter also treats me with rancid contempt, is quick to judge and to criticize and to RAGE at me. (Of course, she criticizes and puts down everyone else, as well.) According to her, I am the WORST "mother," also was NEVER "there for her,'" never wanted her to succeed or have a good life, etc, etc.! And the HORSE-CRAP goes on and on. It's as endless as her anger. In my daughter's case, it is ALL about "control" and "manipulation" - as it seems to be with yours! Mine was WARNED by a professional of crossing the final line into Anti-Social Personality Disorder at age 19 - and she definitely crossed it! Just this week she posted HER "version" of me needing to take (legal) pain medications for spinal-cord injuries from a car accident on Facebook, along with photos she took of me sleeping during an overnight at her house some awhile back. SHE dubbed it "passed out." When I complained to her, I got this response: I'M "entitled, as it affected/affects me. Her logic is flawed! See, I DOUBT she'd like ME advertising her several ABORTIONS, yet those affected ME. The last just a year ago because she was too "lazy" to get birth-control, and only MONTHS before again getting pregnant. (Had that baby.) What got her out of my house (permanently) was PRISON after her third DUI by age 22 when someone was hurt. She's still on probation, by the way, as she rages HER "criticisms" in screamfests at me. Won't EVEN go into details of her years from age 13 on, which included MORE counseling sessions (family and individual), doctors and psychiatrists than I WANT to remember. I had her arrested several times for beating on me, and juvenile officers and courts were involved for her skipping school for MONTHS of schoolyears and running away for DAYS (nearly every week, for years) on end! Put herself into situations, twice, to be raped, because she REFUSED to listen to ANY ONE. (I think I'm still traumatized from ALL the hell and hurt she put me through during all those years!) She had me arrested once, too, for "child abuse,' yet she was the one who harmed ME - not the other way around. (Though now I wish I HAD beat her!) I finally cut her off for about 1-1/2 years when she was in prison for her continued emotional and mental abuse from even behind bars. While I still "yearned for," loved and missed my child (terribly!) - at least I had some "peace" during that time. We later began communicating again, and I had thought that my "saying enough" had heled us greatly! We seemed closer than ever! UNTIL the day she was released, that is! And it's been "PAYBACK," ever since. (How DARE I quit on her!) ... People used to tell me that she would be the death of me in some way or the other, and I now believe it! I ask for "nothing" from my daughter anymore, not to repay me a cent of the thousands her decisions have cost me (even my car,) to a moment of her time because she USES every moment to criticize and belittle me! I am single, diverced for many years. She never "let" me have any relationships while we were both younger, and it seemed unfair, as she was SO NASTY to even my friends. I've lost other friends due to her behavior, and as I age others have died. I live in severe physical pain, and no longer have the energy or desire to do things I used to enjoy. By putting my daughter "first" (I thought I was being a "GOOD mother") - I helped her to destroy me. DON'T make the same mistakes! For people like our daughters, no matter HOW MUCH we love them, they do NOT change, WON'T change - and will only CONTINUE to 'USE" and to "TAKE!" Save YOURSELF! [/QUOTE]
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