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Parent Emeritus
Daughter of Weary Parents Seeking Advice
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 710862" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You have devoted your life to making your parent happy and you are MISERABLE. I think you are misreading what we as parents are posting here. We are upset with our kids because they are not being even semi-responsible people, or even trying to be. You have more than tried to be responsible. You work every spare moment you have. You have given up even trying to have friends or a social life. You have studied what your parents dictated even though it makes you miserable. You have never ever rebelled or done drugs. But your parents are still always angry with you. </p><p></p><p>Sorry, but your parents are so far out of line that it makes me want to shake them. </p><p></p><p>You remind me of a young Asian girl who was on my dorm floor my first year in college. Her parents were still in her home country and every Friday they would call (wealthy family) and berate her for her grades. She would get the top grades in her classes but it was never enough. If she got a 98 they were furious, why did she not get 100%, why did she miss that other 2%, how could she be so stupid? They would scream so loud that we could hear them from outside her dorm room and she never put them on speakerphone. It was horrifying. </p><p></p><p>You need to figure out your citizenship status. Were you born in the US? Get with a lawyer and figure it out. Then figure out what will make YOU happy and go and do it. You can only live your life one time. No one else can make you happy or miserable, only you. You must go and find what will make you happy, and then you should go and do that. You have more than repaid your parents for whatever debt you owe them, no matter what they say. Don't let their guilt trip influence you any more than it already has. </p><p></p><p>FYI, if they have filed for citizenship, or a social security card for you and they won't give you this, they are in violation of the law. You must have this to go to most schools in the US. Also to work in the US. I think you also must have this to own a business int he US. So I am willing to bet you have one and they are just keeping it from you. A friend of mine was born in Libya and her father kept hers to try to force her into an arranged marriage. She had to call the cops and file charges before he would hand over her papers. He didn't speak to her for several years, but she didn't feel she was missing out on anything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 710862, member: 1233"] You have devoted your life to making your parent happy and you are MISERABLE. I think you are misreading what we as parents are posting here. We are upset with our kids because they are not being even semi-responsible people, or even trying to be. You have more than tried to be responsible. You work every spare moment you have. You have given up even trying to have friends or a social life. You have studied what your parents dictated even though it makes you miserable. You have never ever rebelled or done drugs. But your parents are still always angry with you. Sorry, but your parents are so far out of line that it makes me want to shake them. You remind me of a young Asian girl who was on my dorm floor my first year in college. Her parents were still in her home country and every Friday they would call (wealthy family) and berate her for her grades. She would get the top grades in her classes but it was never enough. If she got a 98 they were furious, why did she not get 100%, why did she miss that other 2%, how could she be so stupid? They would scream so loud that we could hear them from outside her dorm room and she never put them on speakerphone. It was horrifying. You need to figure out your citizenship status. Were you born in the US? Get with a lawyer and figure it out. Then figure out what will make YOU happy and go and do it. You can only live your life one time. No one else can make you happy or miserable, only you. You must go and find what will make you happy, and then you should go and do that. You have more than repaid your parents for whatever debt you owe them, no matter what they say. Don't let their guilt trip influence you any more than it already has. FYI, if they have filed for citizenship, or a social security card for you and they won't give you this, they are in violation of the law. You must have this to go to most schools in the US. Also to work in the US. I think you also must have this to own a business int he US. So I am willing to bet you have one and they are just keeping it from you. A friend of mine was born in Libya and her father kept hers to try to force her into an arranged marriage. She had to call the cops and file charges before he would hand over her papers. He didn't speak to her for several years, but she didn't feel she was missing out on anything. [/QUOTE]
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